Another Day in the Life of Potter-Redux
by Nemesis13
Summary: Harry's troubled life is further complicated when his sex is changed due to a shoddy potion and a rebounding blood seal, she is the only one not surprised at this turn of events, blasted Potter luck. Now known as Lilly follow her as she embraces her new found freedom and powers as she and her friends toy with the world, for she solemnly swears she is up to no good. A rewrite.
1. Chapter 1

_**So this was my original Fem!Harry story published last year, the problem was I wrote myself into a wall and really hated were the last arc was going. So I actually took a step back, drew up a proper outline, and did a complete revamp, so this is the retconned and refined version.**_

 _ **New changes are we're going to see more of what's going on in the other Houses, and the general misogynistic outlook of the wizarding world that I briefly touched on will be more of an ongoing issue.**_

 _ **Plus later chapters lost what made this fun for me to write, Harry adapting to being turned into a girl and the hijinks that follows her. Anyway for those that read the original there is going to be quite a bit of new material, so please, enjoy and review!**_

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 **So WARNINGS! This is a genderbender eventual femslash pairing between Harry and Hermione, there will be no Weasley bashing because I find it to be an over used and often times nonsensical plot device. We will be touching off on such issues as expected gender roles, drug and alcohol usage, violence, defenestration, mentions of sexual assault (which will be labeled) and basically a bunch of insane people with a tonne of money and no compunctions on how they spend it.**

* * *

Harry Potter was having a rather rotten week, be it from the simpering ministry flunky running his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, the unending line of detentions he'd accumulated over the past few days for speaking the truth about Voldemort, or having to deal with his best mates rather mercurial temperament. So all told, par for the course really, Harry was still the worlds punching bag and yet again the adults in his life remained next to useless, good times. He was drawn from his irritated musings by a pinch faced ferret who fancied himself his rival stepping in his way,

"Hey Potter, how was your summer hmm? Cry like a woman over what happened to Diggory?" Ah Draco, now there was a case study on daddy issues, not really deigning it necessary to respond to the barb Harry attempted to move around the blonde ponce and his bookends. Crabbe and Goyle were as imposing and vapid as ever, and he really had no intention of dealing with the illiterate trio but they moved as a unit to block his and Hermione's path to where Ron was seated. Gritting his teeth Harry finally let the summers worth of abandonment fueled rage bleed through,

"Malfoy I know you can't get enough of my presence, really I do, but keep pushing me and I'll give you a reminder of what I did to your darling Dark Lord when I was an _infant_ , now would you kindly bloody _move._ " The trio blinked dumbly at this but didn't react otherwise, he mused this was likely the net result of generations of inbreeding; for her part Hermione tensed up a bit and dropped her hand to her wand, bless her paranoid heart. Sneering again in a manner that just annoyed Harry further the blonde retorted,

"Are you taking the piss out of me Potter? You can't do anything to me, my father-" and with that Harry finally had it, he just couldn't take it anymore; utilizing every enraged abused and mistreated feeling he had wound in his psyche he performed an act of wandless magic that would have caused Merlin to applaud. All at once Crabbe and Goyle went flying to either side of the room seeing as they were inconsequential to Harry's ire, Malfoy though was thrown to the front of the room his robes melting around him as his hair turned a rather lurid shade of violet.

A tableau of glowing magics spun around the room as Harry vented his rage, no one, not even Dumbledore himself could have reeled in the boys anger at this point, after a time the miasma of energy bled off and the room was left silent. As the storm settled Harry was still standing there quivering in fury with Hermione grasping his arm staring at him in awe. They were both now occupying a rather impressive crater in the stone floor, and a certain blonde was magically crucified on Snape's blackboard stark naked and sporting a rather impressive indigo mullet.

"Potter...twenty points from Gryffindor for assaulting classmates," Snape, of course it had to be Snape, always waiting in the shadows to bestow blame on those defending themselves against his charges. Not really believing he was about to do what he had planned he turned to the greasy git and snarled,

"Bugger off Death Eater," and with that he grabbed Hermione's wrist and pulled her with him to his seat next to Ron. Every eye in the room was on him, no one knowing quite how to react other then seeing this blowup as proof that the Daily Prophet was right about the one time saviors instabilities. Snape pulled his wand out and in a few motions brought his dungeon back to normal while also freeing the ferret from the blackboard whilst transfiguring him new robes; no luck on the mullet though, pity that. Eventually Snape's vitriolic gaze met Harry's as he coldly stated,

"Thirty points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a professor," Ah, that's how it was, meeting the greasy gits dark eyes Harry just smiled grimly as he replied,

"What part of 'Bugger off Death Eater' did you not understand, _Professor_?" Opening his book he ignored the world around him as Snape seethed out that he'd involve the Headmaster for this disrespect. Harry only infuriated the man further by chuckling to himself, at least the bearded bastard would be forced to acknowledge his existence for the first time since his trial, wrinkled old codger.

Was Harry bitter? Just a bit. Out of the norm Hermione partnered up with him and kept casting concerned looks his way, eventually sighing he gave in and asked his best friend what was wrong.

"What's wrong?! You're having to deal with Heinrich Himmler's reincarnation as a Defense Professor, you spent the entire summer feeling as if you were abandoned by all your friends after witnessing a classmate being murdered by the man who betrayed your parents, and then you perform an act of wandless magic that would leave every witch in existence hot and bothered all while openly mocking an authority figure?!"

Her whispered rant ended when she ran out of air, truth be told Harry was fairly impressed and idly wondered how long the brunette could hold her breath. Keeping that non sequitor to himself he tuned back into her huffing as she just shook her head as she got to work on their project.

He really hadn't the foggiest idea what he was supposed to be working on as he began tossing random ingredients into the cauldron, at this point Harry was well aware he was going to get a Troll for the day so he couldn't really find it in himself to care either. After a few moments of silence Hermione finally continued, "I'm worried about you Harry, I'm very worried about you and I don't know what I can do to help. You seem quite intent on making things difficult for yourself."

He really didn't have a response to that, honestly she was right what _could_ she do when all he wanted from life at the moment was to beat Snape and Voldemort to death with his bare hands, pausing a moment he had to wonder _why_ he was feeling so enraged. None of this was new, he'd always been the target of abuse for the world, so why was he bursting at the seams over it now?

Giving this thought some honest consideration he didn't notice Malfoy glaring at him from the next table over; really it wasn't his fault, the prats newly acquire violet locks cowled most of his face in shadow anyway. With a rather impressive feat of silent magic Draco cast several items into Harry's cauldron while he was talking to his friends, Harry glanced up at the bubbling piece of cookware for a moment before shrugging and moving on. As class wound down Harry took a sample from the cauldron and walked up to Snape's desk placing the wax sealed vial before the glowering Potions Master.

"Drink it, Potter," the man rather sardonically stated, Harry scrunched his face up and was about to deliver another rather poignant tirade when the professor continued, "Its a simple 'Pepper-Up' potion Potter, if you failed this you are truly pathetic." Grimacing Harry decided to throw in his obligatory insult regardless of the situation,

"Fine whatever you greasy git," garnering an exasperated sigh from Hermione and a snicker from Ron with this statement Harry downed the vial and tossed it on the desk letting the glass shatter, seriously what did he care at this point. As he walked away his stomach began cramping and he fell to his knees, convulsing he felt a sick shiver run down his spine that somewhat reminded him of the effects of polyjuice potion. This was different though, it felt like he was being torn apart at the cellular level and put back together after taking a nice long soak in electrified acid, all told he'd give the pain an 8/10, the basilisk venom hurt just a hair more.

As the world spun around him he fell on his back and continued to scream, oddly enough it sounded like his voice was raising in pitch the whole while, eventually the world swirled back into focus and after a time he managed to pull his long raven tresses from his face. Wait...what? His hair was now at least a quarter meter longer then it had been before and as he looked at his hands he realized his fingers had thinned and were a bit longer as well, glancing over his breasts he saw the class staring at him in shocked horror.

Wait. His breasts? What? Trying to stand shakily both Ron and Hermione rushed up to him trying to help him regain his balance, "What...what happened?" He asked in far too light of a tone, his friends exchanged a glance then Ron looked at him completely befuddled,

"Mate yer umm...yer a girl." Oh, lovely, why not, so with that he was dragged to the hospital wing and was thrown underneath the microscope...wait no, wizards didn't do that science thing, thrown under the wand of Madam Pomfrey. Hermione and Ron never left his side and even poor Neville stood guard while throwing him an occasional horrified stare, more then likely thinking it could have easily been him who fell to Snape's vengeance.

"It wasn't the Professor you dullard!" Hermione snapped at Ron, she looked truly frustrated as she kept leafing through her potions book like it would answer all their problems. "Honestly Harry was not paying any attention to what he was brewing, for Merlin's sake he threw in powdered crocalisk gizzards! Those aren't even _used_ in a pepper-up potion!" Harry nodded his..her...ugh...whatever, HER head and agreed with the young woman,

"She's right Ron I wasn't doing anything even remotely related to paying attention, sure Snape forced me to drink it but he had no idea what the hell I concocted...I seriously doubt _anyone_ does really." Neville for his part looked a bit indignant,

"Now come on Harry...errr...do we still call you Harry? Anyway we all saw Pr-Professor Snape force you to take that potion, he didn't even LOOK at it before he dosed you, that's some serious negligence right there." Hermione worried her lip at that not arguing the point, the Professor had no right to force Harry to take the potion and the end result rather proved that. With a huff the bookworm slammed her tome shut as she looked at her best friend apologetically.

"I'm sorry Harry I have nothing to offer, I think you may have accidentally created something that no one has a counter for," Harry shrugged her shoulders at this, really it didn't surprise her at this point. As violent and dangerous as her past four years had been why should she be caught off guard by something as mundane as an unexpected sex change? After a time Headmaster Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey showed up both looking solemn,

"Harry..." the old man started with a concerned tone, he glanced to the trio accompanying him but he quickly realized they'd know what was said regardless and continued. "The potion you made was...unique, none of the staff are quite sure what went into its brewing and I'm sad to say you are more then likely stuck in this form for the foreseeable future. I'm sorry my boy, I truly am." Grunting in annoyance Harry hopped off the bed and paced a bit, eventually she just huffed while raising and dropping her hands in exasperation.

"Just keep Malfoy and his creeps away from me and we'll be set Professor, I doubt this is permanent but even if it is there isn't much we can do about it...did it to myself anyhow..." Shrugging she continued "I suppose I should pick a new name...just call me Lilly for the time being, sure mum would like that..." Dumbledore looked at her with an appraising gaze then nodded knowingly.

"Very well young lady, you'll obviously have to be transferred to the female quarters but that can wait for now. I'm sure your friends have some acclimating to do so I'll leave you with the promise that I will try to fix this, take heart in that." Once the Headmaster left and Pomfrey suitably babied her Lilly was released in the care of her friends, pausing a moment she closed her eyes in consternation before speaking.

"Ron...Neville...I need you two to go ahead of me and move my stuff into the common room so I can switch dorms, I'll meet up with you in a few." Nodding solemnly the two young men walked off, looking over to Hermione Lilly smiled sadly, "I need something from you that is going to put a very real strain on our friendship Mione." Looking concerned the bushy haired girl cocked her head in question, sighing Lilly continued, "Umm...you're going to have to explain that whole menstrual cycle thing to me..."

* * *

Draco Malfoy sat in the Slytherin Common Room staring at the ceiling in numb shock, thankfully his hair had reverted to its normal platinum blonde coloring but that really wasn't what had him so transfixed at the moment.

"I turned Potter into a girl," Theo Nott and Blaise Zabini exchanged exasperated looks before they turned back to the baffled Malfoy scion,

"Yes we know Draco, we were there after all," Blaise stated evenly hoping to move the conversation along, Draco though took no notice of this as he continued to stare upward.

"I turned _Harry Bloody Potter_ into a girl, and I didn't even get a detention, I know that old fool thinks everyone should get second chances but I just turned the Boy-Who-Lived into a girl!" Theo sighed realizing that Draco was not going to let this go anytime soon,

"Only Professor Snape saw you throw that extra shite into Potter's cauldron, so unless he turns you in, which isn't likely, I think you're in the clear." Relaxing a bit at that Draco nodded once and finally brought his head back down to meet Theo's gaze,

"You think it's permanent?" Theo shrugged at that while Blaise let out a noncommittal hum, the Italian wizard propped his elbow on the table as he rested his chin in his open hand,

"Depends on the nature of the magic involved, I personally hope so though, Potter makes for a rather fit bird," Draco sputtered at that as Theo laughed at the blondes reaction, deciding this was too fun he threw in his own two knuts.

"She really does, I'd say good show Draco, and it makes sense if you did this on purpose, you were practically flirting with Potter on a daily basis with that peacocking of yours." Face fluctuating between an unhealthy white and tomato red Draco eventually let out a seething sigh as he stood from his seat,

"You two are wankers, I'm just making that clear, I'm going to my room, good evening gentleman," with that he stood and as he was about close the door leading to the dorms Blaise shouted out,

"Don't forget the lotions under the sink!" There was an indignant squawk as the door was slammed shut, the two boys exchanged knowing smirks then burst out laughing; never let it be said that Slytherin's did not on occasion act like immature teenagers, they'd just never admit it to anyone who asked.

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It was an ashen faced Lilly Potter who finally made her way to the lavatories a short time later, the information overload she had just received had deeply unsettled her; she really hadn't needed Hermione to go into such graphic detail on how her new plumbing worked. Although truth be told her inner Marauder was slightly curious if her long time friend hadn't been pranking her since the bushy haired bookworm already had diagrams and color coded graphs at ready. With that witch, well...she wouldn't have bet against it, Hermione could have her playfully ruthless moments, her treatment of the captured Rita Skeeter left no doubt of that.

Sighing as she entered the room while vaguely recalling it was Moaning Myrtle's personal haunt Lilly came to dead stop in front of the sinks,

"Nothing for it, blokes won out women got the raw deal in this whole puberty thing..." realizing that she did not in fact know where to go from here she turned the faucets on and dunked her face into the basin of water.

After a few moments she pulled her head up and turned the water off, glaring down into the draining sink she wiped her face dry with a corner of her robe while pulling her annoyingly long hair behind her ears. Standing there contemplating her lot in life she allocated herself a few more moments of glowering time before glancing up into the mirror and felt her heart skip a beat.

She'd been operating on the assumption that she still looked like Harry, just you know, with lady bits, the end result was completely opposite of what she'd expected, "Whoa...I'm hot!" Ok, not exactly the most humble thing to say but seriously, from the raven hair, pale heart shaped face and emerald eyes that now held a rather creepy inner glow she was quite striking, still had that damn scar though.

Realizing that her glasses didn't fit the new her she pulled out her wand and went over her options, concentrating she began to form an image in her mind. Frames had to go, and the round lenses were kind of tacky truth be told, so after a few deft transfigurations she was now sporting a rather tasteful pair of rimless lenses.

"Can't believe it I've been a girl for a few hours and I'm already accessorizing, ugh..." Looking at the striking young lady in the mirror a morbid thought hit her...she was now an attractive girl in a school filled with clueless pubescent boys, past experience verifying this. Shuddering at flashbacks of Harry's bungled attempts at wooing Cho Chang and the aberration that had been the Yule Ball last year Lilly now had the uncomfortable realization that her real problems had only just begun.

Because simply put, Harry Potter had had many worries in his life and while they usually involved him being pushed around, abused, or more often then he liked nearly killed, one thing he had never had to deal with though was being pursued by romantically inept teenage boys.

With a groaned "Bugger me," she dropped her head and marched off to the dorms, best to just get this crap over with, maybe she'd get lucky and the common room would be empty since it was already so late. She had to brace herself against the wall as she tried to stifle the sudden manic laughter that bubbled up at the mere thought of having good luck, eventually regaining control she moved on.

It soon was proven that her luck as Lilly Potter held true to Harry's standard, which is to say on the short end of abysmal, much to her annoyance it appeared that the entirety of Gryffindor was camping in the Common room to get a look at her.

The mixed bag of reactions was...disconcerting, from some of the girls she was getting looks of jealousy (which was stupid), from the boys looks that could only be considered lecherous (which was unsettling), and in between all that those exuding honest curiosity and sympathy (which was appreciated). Finally meeting Hermione's apologetic gaze next to the supportive Neville and Ron she gave a half hearted shrug and leaned against the door frame.

Deciding that being blindly courageous like a proper Gryffindor had been the catalyst for this mess Lilly opted to play this like a Slytherin and use some basic deflection, "I suppose you've already heard so really no point hiding it, I did in fact tell Snape to bugger off to his face, twice, sorry for the lost points."

For once in her life she'd said the exact right thing at the right time, the collective took a breath then broke down into peels of laughter, looking back to her friends she received a nod of approval from Hermione and wide grins from the boys.

 _'Can work with that_ ,' she thought with a smile, walking into the room proper she realized suddenly she was a bit taller then Harry had been, not an unwanted trade off but certainly unexpected; filing that away for later she began pacing back and forth while twirling a lock of her hair.

Looking back at the now smiling crowd she continued whilst shrugging again, "I also stripped Malfoy down to his birthday suit and gave him some...fabulous hair care advice free of charge since I'm such a giving person, lost points for that as well." Dean Thomas snarked out with,

"The poofter looked like one of the anorexic 'hunks' on the back of my mum's cheap romance novels, well played Harry!" As the laughter renewed she felt the urge to hug the hell out of the muggle-born for that opening, giving him a lopsided grin she drawled,

"Well I aim to please my target demographic Dean," more laughter, ah good stuff, finally letting her smile drop she fell into the chair that had obviously been left for her and just sat there for a few moments facing her entire house. Rubbing her face and growling in frustration she finally threw her head back and continued, "Ok, so long short, I seriously messed up a potion and this body is the end result of that mistake.

"I already went over this with the Headmaster and Madam Pomfrey, this is due to my own negligence and Snape being a condescending arse," Neville and Ron threw in a 'here here' but she received an annoyed glare from Hermione, Lilly inwardly snorted at that, ' _baby steps dear, baby steps_ '.

Removing her glasses she began rubbing her temples slowly as she collected her thoughts, getting no inspiration she plowed on, "As it stands so far all we can tell is this...transformation is permanent, outside of some very odd magic levels I've nothing abnormal in my system...outside of missing my Y-chromosomes of course." That got a chuckle from the older muggle-born but looks of confusion from all else, ah well can't please them all.

"So, just work with me here, please? I know we've had a rocky start with the Tom Riddle...errr...Voldemort thing but we have Umbitch to deal with on top of all our normal harrowing school year drama so...lets all just try to play this by ear." The collective winced at the name of the self styled Dark Lord much to Lilly's annoyance, and while it was obvious they wanted more they also appeared to sense her desire to avoid further questioning for the time being and began dispersing. Thank Merlin for small miracles, eventually Fred, George, Ginny, Neville, Ron and Hermione crowded around her, the twins starting in first, of course,

"My my Harry, we had no idea you were so against courting our lovely Ginny," the twins traded off without missing a beat,

"That you'd go through all this effort to make yourself available to the simple Ronnikins," Insert indigent yelp and a disgusted 'Hey!' here, the devious duo of course continued unabated.

"Of course you could have secretly been desiring the pair of us,"

"Indeed oddly suspicious George, I do believe dear Harry was supporting some rather off fantasies," Smirking at the twins antics she resumed rubbing her temples for a moment before making eye contact with Fred, winking she said,

"Sorry George, Fred's the pretty one and I can't see myself settling for a set of defective twins," getting a final laugh out of all her friends she stood and looked them over, eventually she muttered, "Thanks for sticking with me guys, but right now I need some sleep." They all nodded in understanding as she was escorted to the girls dorms by Ginny and Hermione, once she reached the offered bed Lilly fell face first into the covers and was out before anything could be said.

* * *

Nearly the second the young quartet had left Madam Pomfrey's care Albus rushed out of Hogwarts to check on something that had been tugging at his consciousness ever since Harry's unfortunate transformation; as he apparated in front of 4 Privet drive he silently thanked his foresight to cast a disillusionment charm. Muggle emergency service vehicles were surrounding the smoking crater that once contained the home of the Dursley's, looking about it was obvious what had happened and he really couldn't help muttering to himself.

"Excellent job Severus, truly excellent, try to belittle the boy by making him drink an untested potion in a room where he already vented enough wild magic to charge a blood seal rebound..." That was the crux of the matter really, Harry becoming Lilly broke the protection charm his/her mother placed on them while simultaneously unanchoring more then a decades worth of pent up blood magic.

What Dumbledore couldn't quite figure out just yet was _where_ that energy had gone, with a rebound of this magnitude it would have to go back to person who had been leaching their magic, and since young Lilly's head hadn't exploded well...

Seeing as there was no reason to linger before the destroyed home he apparated to the nearest connection to the floo network and re-entered his office; pacing back and forth he kept trying to figure out how to protect Lilly without the ancient magics he'd had her under for nearly a decade and a half. What truly worried him was that if his growing suspicions on the nature of her scar were true then the buffer her mothers sacrifice had offered was gone.

Now contemplating the idea that the newly minted young ladies mind was being infected by a soul fragment of one of the most vile and misguided wizards of the day he was soon interrupted by the unannounced arrival of Severus. Meeting the Headmaster's gaze the potion's master shook his head as he sat in one of the open chairs,

"I know you have words for me for my actions and for once...I may have to admit I overstepped my bounds, things have...happened to the Dark Lord that we need to discuss, please summon Minerva, she'll need to hear about this as well since it involves one of her students." That...that was not expected from the normally condescending and taciturn man, especially with anything involved with young Harry...or...now Lilly...maybe things hadn't changed that much after all.

"Very well Severus, am I to assume this involves what happened to young Miss Potter?" Wincing at that the man nodded, shifting his twinkling gaze to Fawkes he bade him retrieve his Deputy Headmistress as the pair sat in silence, eventually Minerva entered the room and began staring daggers at her fellow house head. Taking her seat next to Severus they sat in uncomfortable quiet for a time, eventually the black haired man sighed and spoke,

"As you are aware Headmaster shortly after Lil...Miss Potters unfortunate accident I was summoned to attend the Dark Lord, what I arrived to could only be described as utter chaos. Well over half of Malfoy Manor has been leveled by some massive magical attack that seemed to be centered directly on the Dark lord." Both of the elder professors peaked up at this bit of news, popping a lemon drop into his mouth Dumbledore motioned for the man to continue, shifting uneasily while glancing at Minerva Severus sighed then dropped his head into his hands.

After a few moment he lifted his head and resumed his tale, "It would appear that a rather violent rebound from a broken blood seal had been directed towards the Dark Lord and mangled his body, while he's recovering he's suffered some...mutations to his form that no one can explain.

"The other Death Eaters are scrambling to do damage control but not even Lucius's gold is going to make the Auror's ignore half his mansion being blown apart, I suspect this has something to do with Miss Potter's accident but I'm not sure how." Albus sat there dumbfounded, after a moment he began chuckling shaking his head in realization,

"The magics Lily placed on Harry upon her death were fueled by a blood seal placed in his Aunt and Uncle's home, and yes I'm aware that its a darker magic that causes instability in ones temperament, its why I always gave him such leeway." Minerva interrupted him as her Scottish brogue began to break through,

"You put a blood seal on an infants magic core!?" Sighing he nodded, really he couldn't defend himself much here, she was right to be angry,

"Indeed I did Minerva, at the time the protection Lily placed on Harry was the only thing protecting him from Tom, we had no idea if he was truly gone for good and I was short on options, bringing him back to the wizarding world and leaving him with the Longbottom's or Bones' as his parents wished would have only made them targets. And considering what happened to Frank and Alice..." She didn't have a response to that, feeling his years once again he continued with his theory,

"'Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son. Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master. Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe.' These are the words spoken by Peter Pettigrew as he resurrected Tom's body..."

He was met with silence as both his faculty members came to their own conclusions, nodding he popped another lemon drop while smiling slightly. "I'm unsure how much you two know about the muggle sciences but in the study of genetics there are two sets of chromosomes for a male, XX from the mother and XY from the father..."

Pausing to really consider the implications he couldn't help but laugh at the situation, "The magics that Harry had running through his body must have sensed the rebound and did the quickest thing it could to his already transforming body...it overwrote the Y, no longer being the prime candidate for the rebound the magic turned to the closest blood link available..."

Severus stared at him for a moment then nodded, leaning back in his chair he crossed his arms then gave a half hearted snort,

"Well...that would explain why the Dark Lord has a rather smashing set of tits now," it took nearly a minute for Minerva to get the lemon drop out of the now chocking headmasters throat.

* * *

 **This was a monumental pain to edit and I'm sure I missed several things, I'll give it another look over later this week but considering I'm doing this redux thing for fun I wouldn't hold my breath. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**EDIT 1/15/2016-IMPORTANT: *Digruntled groan* LOOK, the Reaper in this chapter is only, _ONLY_ going to be in this chapter and one more waaaaaaaay down the line when Lilly recovers the ring Horcrux. That's it. You don't have to worry about him mucking things up, turning Lilly into a Mary Sue, or anything else like that, he's an exposition piece to explain things to Lilly in an interactive manner and that's IT.**

 ***Runs hands down face sighing* Ok, hopefully my PM box will stop getting filled with complaints and the subject...ugh**

* * *

Lilly...did not know where she was, eye twitching she took in her new surroundings in stoic silence, the wide open void doing little to impress her. There were...bubbles? Orbs? Fine, whatever, floaty ball things bobbing about and as she touched them she was treated with the unenviable experience of reliving Harry's memories, interesting yes but something she could live without.

Walking along whilst cringing at the more volatile memories she couldn't help but notice a rather interesting point; Harry was either in complete control over his mind or falling into a rather idiotic impulsiveness that rivaled some of the crap Ron had pulled. She had to pause at that, when did she start thinking so poorly of her best mate? Filing that away for later she looked past the bubbles and saw something dark on the horizon, and being the inquisitive witch that she was she walked towards the shadows curiosity piqued.

Coming to a stop she noted that the pulsing black tendrils bleeding from the shadows were wrapping themselves around her memory bubble things, slowly pulling them in as they were dissolved. In the center of the shadowy mass was quite possibly the ugliest baby she'd ever seen, and considering she'd bore witness to Dudley's larva-like growth that was saying something. Not really knowing what to do about this Lovecraft knockoff she touched one of the tendrils and immediately pulled her hand back hissing in pain,

"Ok note to self, don't touch the pulsing coalesced shadow eating your memories, it's a bad idea." Hearing a laugh behind her she spun around and was met with a strange sight; a young man with a long chestnut brown braid sporting a catholic priests garb was standing before her, violet eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Well, at least you can recognize a threat when it presents itself, sup luv, names Duo Maxwell, I may run and hide but I'll never tell a lie, I'll be your Reaper for the evening." Turning her gaze to the scythe held in his hands she sighed in resignation, well...bollocks...cocking her head Lilly asked,

"So you're here to kill me?" The young mans brows rose slightly as he grinned in return, there was something unsettlingly Gred and Forge'ish about the expression that set alarm bells off in the back of her head.

"Hadn't planned on it beautiful, I'm your assigned Reaper, think of me along the lines of a social worker. Anyway my boss asked me to take this project on special since he likes your spunk and Tommy Boy over their tried to cheat us a soul, idiot thought mutilating himself wouldn't be noticed."

He snorted at that while rolling her eyes, "Yeah Death isn't going to notice that you didn't show up on your Death Day, real clever, anyhow I'm here to give you some advice since you've already nearly died once today."

Looking Lilly up and down he nodded in approval, "Well, you could have definitely done worse, nice subconscious magic by the way that deconstruction potion should have turned you into something resembling bloody giblets, or at the very least left you insane. Regardless you managed to hold yourself together and do what was needed to protect yourself from that rebound. Honestly Death's fairly impressed and willing to give you some leeway dealing with this...thing..."

Deciding to file the strange priests ramblings away in the same mental folder as "Why do I suddenly think Ron's a git?" Lilly nodded and glanced over at the ugly baby,

"So...the hell is that?" Duo's handsome face scrunched up in disgust as he seethed out the answer,

"A Horcrux, one of the most twisted and evil of magics, it's essentially the end result of a rather complex ritual that utilizes the most damaging thing to the human soul, namely cold blooded murder, and using its destabilizing effects to bind a fragment of said soul to an object. This dumbass intentionally made five so far, and you are actually his unintentional sixth soul anchor, so that's a thing." Feeling sick Lilly stared at the...abomination that was Voldemort and she was suddenly very glad she didn't have a physical body that would allow her to throw up at the moment.

"Ok...how do I get rid of it?" Duo snorted as he pulled her into a brief one armed hug before replying,

"Well, if the Big Guy wanted us to take care of this prick on our own he'd have just sent one of the Junior Reapers to take it out, what he has in mind is a bit more...morally ambiguous...and amusing, can't forget that bit." Intrigued Lilly gave her Reaper a calculating look, not sensing any deception she nodded her head gently. Duo smirked in return as he continued,

"Well as it stands without your moms sacrificial protection this bastard is trying to devour your soul. What I'm offering is a role reversal, you consume Voldemort's soul fragment and gain all his knowledge acquired at the point of this Horcruxes creation as well as some of his magical core."

Now that... _that_ was intriguing, Harry would have thrown that idea away in a moment but Lilly...hmm...ever since the accident she just felt more in control, more...in charge of her thoughts and she liked the idea of not only spiting the bastard that killed her family but learning all he had to offer without direct interaction. Meeting Duo's appraising gaze she gave the Reaper an impish smirk,

"What do I have to do?" Laughing Duo ruffled her hair before twirling his scythe between his fingers,

"Simply put I'm going to cleave through his shields and you have to tackle him and overpower his will, you have a bit of an advantage since his magical core is already being strained from that blood seal rebound blowing his ass up. Gonna warn you beautiful, you're going to be absorbing the very essence of one of the most corrupt mortals to walk this world. Until you fully...heh...digest it you're going to have to resist some of the dark urges that come along with the powerup."

Nodding Lilly took a deep breath and then let it out, giving the Horcrux a wide toothy grin Duo pulled the scythe back and cleaved through the approaching tendrils.

The wave of destruction that followed in the attacks wake was honestly fairly memorable, as was Voldemort's screams of agony, not thinking twice about it both her Slytherin and Gryffindor outlooks grinned in anticipation of the coming battle, just as she was about to grab the terrified looking bastard monster baby Lilly began to cackle,

"This outta be fun."

* * *

Hermione Granger was a very terrified young witch at the moment, her best friend who up until this morning had been a rather cute young man and was now currently a beautiful young woman was screaming in agony and attempting to thrash about even with magic binding her limbs in place. Little more then an hour after she'd passed out Lilly had begun screaming, it had taken all three Quiditch chasers to hold her down until Professor McGonagall could take control.

The thrashing and screaming had of course caught the attention of everyone but it was the steady stream of smoke coming from her burning scar that garnered the most attention as they levitated the girl to the infirmary; pacing back and forth with Neville and the Weasely's all they could do was wait. After a time they noticed a change, for the first time in hours there was not strangled screaming from their friend, there was silence, then...laughter, nearly insane laughter at that.

Ignoring everything she personally believed about obeying authority figures she rushed into the room followed by her friends to see Lilly's back arching as she continued to cackle, Madam Pomfrey, and Professors Dumbledore, McGonagall , and Snape watching on in shock as black ichor pored from her scar. Soon after a smoky thread flew from the scar and took the face of a man screaming in agony, Lilly's eyes then snapped open, the brilliantly glowing emerald orbs watching the smoke dissipate in fascination,

"Fuck you and the Horcrux you rode in on Tom!" she giggled, and with that she threw up and passed out for good.

* * *

As Lilly came to once again in the glowing white expanse of her mind the first thing she noticed was it all had a bit of a gray tinge to it at the moment, odd, and for reasons she couldn't quite explain she felt...full... Finally clearing the cobwebs from her mind she realized that her head was laying on Duo's knee, the man in question humming Queen's 'We will Rock You' to himself. Groaning while she sat up Lilly held her suddenly aching skull and tried to recollect just what in the bloody hell had happened.

Duo though was quite content with filling her in, "You know babe that was quite possibly the most brutal beat down I've ever seen a soul dole out, I'm impressed by your aggression and Death's honestly fairly impressed as well. Really, he hates it when wizards put decimal points in his soul quota so faster we take out these Horcruxes the better for us all." Right...Tom, she'd confronted his soul fragment and...oh ick, right she ate the damn thing, the full feeling was probably her magic core expanding,

"Well, that was a...unique experience..." Duo rolled his eyes at this,

"You've gotta gift for understatement gorgeous, I'm hoping Harry's previously humble personality takes a back seat in the near future by the by. The chaos you're capable of dropping on magical Britain's backward medieval world is just too good to pass up, Imma need me some popcorn." Snorting at that Lilly stood shakily trying to fight back waves of dizziness,

"Yes I'm sure the Boy-wh...the Girl-Who-Lived who is currently being ostracized by the magical world at large can really muck things up for those in power, especially since I'm not me anymore and I have no idea if I even have a vault to pay for this bloody dangerous school...I could really use a drink right about now...wait how the hell do I know what a drinks like...ugh." Duo bemusedly watched her ramble for a bit before interjecting,

"That would be Tom's memories, you'll find that you'll be recollecting things that you've yet to experience, don't worry I've edited the really nasty bits out so no trauma of watching your own attempted murder or the like." Lilly thanked the Reaper for that bit of kindness before the lecture continued, "And don't worry despite consuming some of Tom's power your magical signature won't have changed so all enchanted documents and vows should still recognize you as Harry for purposes of ownership anyhow."

Lilly rolled her eyes while snarking, "Oh, good, I figured my run of bad luck would have left me destitute, par for the course and all that," feeling well enough to begin pacing she tried to keep the waves of nausea under control, something told her she wasn't handling that so well back in the real world. Duo waited for her to stop pacing then once again continued updating her,

"So anyway as for causing waves and all that, as things stand now Harry Potter may have been Fifteen, but Lilly Potter happens to have already reached her age of majority. I'm sure you've noticed that you're a bit taller and before you ask your subconscious did it; a desire for your freedom and control of your life and all that aged you. As long as you keep _thinking_ you're seventeen you _will_ be, magic is funny like that, anyway since you're the last of the Potter line the normally misogynistic leaders of the Wizarding world really have no choice but to accept you taking your rightful place as the head of House Potter."

Duo's smile began fading as he saw the look of utter confusion on Lilly's face, the formally upbeat Reaper then asked, "You do realize you're the heiress to the Most Ancient and Noble house of Potter right? One of the oldest wizard families in existence? Tom's little rampage wiped out the entire line except for you including all the cadet families, you've more money and power then even the Malfoy's..."

Lilly liked to consider herself a creative person, so the tirade of newly forged swear words pouring from her mouth must have been memorable if Duo's now thoroughly amused smile was any indication. Her rant ended after about an hour, huffing she glared into the distance before turning back to her Reaper,

"Anything else?" Duo tapped his chin thoughtfully, flashing a toothy grin he nodded,

"Yes, an idea to further mess with ole' Mr. Riddle, are you aware of the ancient custom of 'Right of Conquest?" Lilly wracked her brain as she put some thought into this, brows raising she then nodded,

"Yeah remember reading about that in a muggle book...or Tom did..hell this is going to get old, anyway it was the justification to conquer new territory before World War 2, err...also 'Hogwarts A History' mentions that if you strike down an enemy thrice then you can claim their titles and lands magically." Duo gave her an appraising look then shook his head in amusement,

"That wasn't Tom that was you, I'm starting to wonder how much that damn blood seal was holding you back, anyway you can claim Tom's title, there's really no money left to it but the power in it is strong plus it will definitely piss him off." Lilly scoffed at that rolling her eyes,

"He's a half-blood orphan from a destitute house, the 'Lord' in his name was partly his ego and a ridiculous anagram, there's nothing to claim." Duo just stared at her a second then made a bunch of hissing noises, thinking the Reaper may have just lost it his meaning suddenly became clear, busting out into gut wrenching laughter it took some time for Lilly to recover. "Oh hell that's right he's the Heir of Slytherin, oh god can I claim that now?" Shaking his head Duo replied,'

"No can do babe you're going to have to go down into the Chamber of Secrets and make your claim on the central platform, trust me the ancient magics of that house do _not_ acknowledge Tom anymore; getting your ass handed to you by child a half dozen times doesn't really impress." Now very much looking forward to waking up and screwing with all her former puppet masters Lilly rather hurriedly asked,

"Anything else?" Smiling one last time the Reaper stood and gave a final firm hug,

"I'm giving you a bit of an information dump so you know whats going on in the world around you, outside of that you're going to be on your own for a bit. You take care kiddo, I'll be sure to stop in now and then to see how you're doing...when you go Horcrux hunting I suggest you go after the Gaunt family ring first, its stone is...something of Death's and it'll allow us to speak at anytime. Now go get back to your friends, and if I may suggest use a breath freshening charm you've been vomiting for quite some time."

Her "Wait what?" was lost as she abruptly came to in the real world in the middle of a dry heaving, opening eyelids that felt like sandpaper she groggily looked about realizing she was in the medical wing, head hanging over a sick filled bucket. "Bloody hell, I'm here _again_?!" she stated incredulously, suddenly the hands that she hadn't realized were holding her head steady released their grip as a voice squeaked out,

"She's awake!" This caused a charge of people to surround her bed, looking over to see that Hermione had been the one keeping her steady she was startled by her red eyed and tear stained face.

"Don't cry brown eyes, it was only a tiny exorcism," there was a forced chuckle from the twins but that was it, Poppy began shooing everyone away from the bed aside from Hermione who was holding Lilly's hair out of the way as Poppy scourgified all the vomit away. After having a few dozen potions shoved down her throat and reassuring everyone she was ok she was given well wishes from her friends as they were banished from Madam Pomfrey's domain.

Hoping beyond hope that everyone would just leave her be until morning she began dozing off, she was snapped out of it by a quiet kindly,

"Miss Potter, a word if I may?" She began screaming in her thoughts 'God! Bloody! Damnit! I do not need to deal with this right now!' Composing herself she opened her eyes and faced her visitor, the first thing to enter her mind was both Tom and Harry screaming ' _DO NOT TRUST DUMBLEDORE!',_ if those two traits agreed on something, it was time to pay attention.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore, how can I help you?" His normally grandfatherly visage looked a bit strained as he observed her, as if he was trying to look past the surface and failing, which he was since he was obviously using legillimency and she'd assimilated Tom's rather advanced skills as occlumency. After a moment he gave her a soft smile,

"I was just wondering if you could perchance tell me exactly what was happening to you?" Ah, this, well Harry would tell the whole truth, and Tom would out and out lie, so what would Lilly do? Deciding on a course of action and committing to it she shrugged,

"After I fell asleep I found myself in my dreamscape which usually only happens when I try to focus my occlumency, I umm...regret to say that I failed to put up my shields before I passed out and I guess with everything else that happened today..." Dumbledore looked shocked for a moment before he asked,

"You've studied occlumency on your own?" Double down time, nodding she put on a regretful expression,

"Yeah I read about ways to block out bad dreams and the like and this seemed the best option, I owl ordered the books and have been trying to get a handle on it but there was always something blocking my progress." 'Such as a piece of a dark lords tainted soul that you neglected to tell me about'... Nodding thoughtfully Dumbledore asked her to continue, 'Damn, distracting didn't work, time for misdirection.'

"Well there was this...thing in my mind, it kept taunting me talking about taking over my body and claiming it was Voldemort's Horcrux, whatever that is, it attacked me and I tried fighting it off, I..." strategically placed pause and shudder, now continue. "I really don't know how to describe it, fighting that thing was just...ugh...the entire time it just ranted and raved, something about blood seals and rebounds and cursing my name and...well...typical Death Eater threats. Eventually it weakened to the point were I was able to push it out and well," she lifted her hands and gestured to the bed, he let out a humorless chuckle at that,

"Indeed, you did well child, I will let you get some rest, you've been through quite an ordeal and I do not wish to put you through any more trouble, I will talk to you tomorrow." Telling him good night she just sat there staring at the wall contemplating where to go from here; Harry was too honest, Tom was too deceitful, Lilly would be neither, no Lilly's path would be one forged by her alone. She had plans for the future, solidify her friendships, subvert and if possible convert her enemies, and prepare the downfall of her true foes, asking Poppy if she could have Hedwig sent down she began writing letters.

Her letter to Sirius explained everything that happened...everything along with her still gestating theories on why he had been denied a fair trial, she had no evidence yet but that blood seal and Horcrux in her head seriously had her questioning Dumbles motives at the moment. The second letter was to Gringotts and not knowing who else to address it to sent it to the master of the Potter accounts requesting a meeting and a method to get to the bank that wouldn't alert any at the school.

The third letter was about to be written to the Daily Prophet but she paused...no her story needed to go through a source that didn't go through the ministry; mulling the thought she suddenly recalled the blonde Ravenclaw Luna Lovegood, her father ran his own paper and she seemed to like Harry enough, perhaps she'd help for an exclusive. Finishing the last letter she called out,

"Dobby!" in a flash the little house elf appeared at the end of her bed holding a broom,

"Harry Potter sir! What can Dobby be doing for you?!" He shouted in excitement, Lilly's changed sex didn't seem to elicit any response from him so she tentatively asked,

"You've heard I'm a girl now right Dobby? I really can't switch back so if you would can you call me Lilly from here on out?" Dobby nodded enthusiastically at this,

"Yes Dobby heard about your accident! Don't really matter to Dobby though Dobby follows Ha- Lilly Potter by her magic, not how she looks!" Oddly touched by that sentiment she gave the little elf an affectionate smile,

"Thanks Dobby, I was wondering could you give this letter to Luna Lovegood in the morning, discretely? I'd like to talk to her away from prying ears, if she has a response get it to me when I wake up?" Standing ramrod straight with a look of awe on his face Dobby grinned and saluted,

"Of course Dobby can be doing this for Mistress Potter!" Handing him the envelope he vanished in a blink and she was left alone, eventually Hedwig winged her way through the door and landed on the bedknob and let out a petulant 'hoot'. Grinning at her miffed familiar she rubbed the owls head and soothingly said,

"Sorry for neglecting you today girl, you know how it goes, inadvertent sex changes, fending off a dark lords soul then eating it for super powers, lying my arse off to the only real father figure I've ever had, you know, the usual," nipping at her finger affectionately the snow white owl let out what sounded like a "humph" then watched her mistress alertly.

Lilly paused then met the owls amber eyes with her glowing emerald, eventually she asked her familiar, "Hedwig, was Albus filtering through Harry's mail?" The owl actually seemed to display a gesture of disgust with her wings as she nodded once. Growling a bit at that she then asked, "Is he currently riffling though _Lilly_ Potters mail yet?"

Seemingly amused the owl shook her head no, grinning widely she tied both letters to her friends claws, "Brilliant, you are obviously the most intelligent owl ever, please deliver these quickly, if someone tries to stop you returning the post to me ditch it and we'll figure something out, careful now love." Nuzzling Lilly a moment the owl then took flight once again and disappeared down the hall, now thoroughly spent and having nothing else to do Lilly laid back into her covers and fell asleep dreaming of a future where she was in control of her own destiny.

* * *

 **So...much...editing...please review...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Made a point of putting an AN in the last chapter to clarify that Duo the Reaper will only play a very minor role and he will not be seen for a very long time, he was an exposition piece to explain everything to Lilly and nothing more. So please don't get hung up on that kind of sick of the PM's.**

 **Anyway once again editing old work is a pain in the butt but it's kind of rewarding to shine up something I use to be proud of and now am...rather embarrassed by it. I'm posting this now because I've been picking at this for two and a half hours and I just can't take it anymore, I'll get some sleep and edit out any glaring mistakes tomorrow.**

 **As always I hope you enjoy and please REVIEW!**

* * *

As it turned out Lilly ended up sleeping three days straight as her over stressed body and mind recovered from her most recent trials; not exactly what she had wanted but since when did life give her what she desired? Deciding that next time life gave her lemons she was going to toss them in a sock and beat life upside the head with it until it got with the program she groggily opened her eyes. Rubbing away sleep crust while in the same motion snatching up her glasses and propping them on her nose Lilly took in her surrounding guests with a bemused smile.

Neville and Ron were sitting at a table pulled beside her bed absorbed in a game of chess while Hermione was seated directly on the foot of the bed with her legs folded beneath her, book in her lap. Shaking her head she caused the trio to start in surprise as she cheerfully chirped out a greeting.

"Heyya guys, what did I miss?" All three jumped up in shock and began speaking at once, not even trying to understand the jumble she glanced up at the headboard which was supporting a tired looking Hedwig. Her familiar clacked her beak once then offered her leg up with a pair of letters attached, taking them she snatched a piece of bacon off the plate on her bedside and fed the thoroughly spoiled owl. Turning back to her friends she threw them the same story she'd given the Headmaster then lamented her missed classes and homework, this of course scared off Ron immediately. Neville sighed at the redheads quick escape,

"I may not be that great at anything outside of herbology but Ron's running the risk of not graduating if he keeps up that attitude," snorting Lilly glanced over to Neville and reviewed her accumulated memories for a moment before responding.

"Neville, you're the son of two Auror's so damn good at their jobs they had bounties posted on them by the Death Eaters, give yourself more credit please, if not for yourself then for your parents." Looking shocked, frightened, and angry all at once Neville stuttered out,

"Yo...you know about my parents?" Glancing towards Harmione who was now paying rapt attention then looking back to Neville he seemed to relax realizing she was asking permission, he hesitated then nodded once.

"Frank and Alice Longbottom where to be my guardians after my godfather Sirius Black, who incidentally was framed, they were tracked down by Tom Riddle's...right Voldemort's-" she stopped as Neville shuddered, she'd have to work on that. Rolling her eyes she continued regardless, "Anyway they were tracked down by the "Dark Lord's" most insane and loyal followers, they captured your parents and tried to torture them with the cruciatus curse to reveal what happened to their lord.

"Obviously they didn't know because the bastard had been banished at that point, they went down fighting so be proud, and don't forget their sacrifice Neville, remember it and let it make you stronger." Pausing to take a breath Lilly stared at the ceiling feeling the info supplied by her Reaper begin to peter off, Neville looked shaken and bade his leave, waving it off Lilly covered her face with her arm a moment before Hermione spoke up.

"So...Ha...Lilly how are you doing?" Deciding that this pussyfooting about was rather irritating she opined,

"Oh outside of having a beautiful girl beside my bed rather then in it I'm doing pretty good, you?" There was a squeak then she was smacked with a pillow, grinning Lilly laughed a moment before continuing. "Deserved that, so yeah, I feel terrible, and I have the feeling things are going to get worse rather then better..."

Dropping her arm she looked at her worried friend then whispered, "Want the real story?" Her eyes narrowed and she nodded sharply, pulling herself from bed Lilly stripped out of the hospital gown and slide on the robes left at her bedside, moving towards the door Hermione whispered,

"Where are we going?" Smiling in return Lilly cryptically said,

"Grabbing my broom then taking a pretty witch for a ride," an hour later found them in Myrtle's loo with Firebolt in hand, walking up to the snake head sink she whispered " _Open"_ in parseltongue. As before the entrance was revealed, unlike before they flew down the twisting turning pipe rather then sliding down its filthy surface; soon the cavern echoed with Lilly's whooping and Hermione's screams. Reaching the antechamber she brought the broom to a landing and turned to her longtime friend who had placed her fists on her hips displaying a rather adorable scolding pout,

"Answers now," and so she explained everything that _actually_ happened and the personal belief of her life being heavily manipulated by outside forces, there was a long silence before the bushy haired young woman wrapped Lilly in a hug.

"Good god...ok...suddenly feeling a bit silly being cross with you," Lilly simply shrugged, what can you do? Letting the tender moment last far longer then necessary they separated and Lilly pulled out her letters, the one from Gringotts stated that they'd like to meet immediately and had supplied a portkey, nice. The one from Sirius contained a mirror with the words 'Call me" written on the package. Shrugging she looked into the mirror,

"Calling Sirius Black AKA Padfoot the scruffy!" Not thirty seconds later her shaggy haired godfather appeared in the mirror looking indignant,

"I'll have you know young lady I'm not scruffy, I'm dashingly handsome! I...oh Merlin you look like your mother mixed with Aunt Dorea...neat! Anyway how you holding up pup?" Heart melting a bit at the true affection in his voice she gave him a shaky smile,

"Heyya Padfoot, things are a bit messed up, this umm...girl thing is permanent but it prevented the blood seal Dumbledore forced on me from blowing me up, so thats a plus I guess? Anyway you know everything I do now, brilliant mirror by the way!" Seemingly amused by her disjointed greeting he grinned happily,

"Well, I'm still your godfather, so you'll just have to be my goddaughter now, so no worries I won't judge I know you didn't choose this." Lilly felt tears form at the corners of her eyes at this admission, she did _not_ let out a relieved sob, it had to be some sort of echo effect of the old tunnel, rats or something obviously.

Sirius having more experience with crying young women then he'd like to admit tactfully ignored the display, "Now I followed the whole transformation thing but whats this about Albus keeping me from you?" Lilly glanced over to Hermione who looked at her quizzically, sighing she discretely lifted her glasses to wipe her eyes dry then unloaded her personal nightmare.

"Ok...so mum and dad die protecting me from Tom's little rampage, suddenly the Headmaster realizes that this kid is protected by an ancient primal magic that cannot be replicated, and can only be fueled by a connection to a blood relative. So along comes Sirius who is in some legal hot water due to Wormtails betrayal, he knows damn well you'd never consent to me being sent to the Dursleys and is well aware you'd be proven innocent under veritaserum, so off you go to Azkaban."

Taking a deep breath and seeing both Hermione and Sirius' horrified expressions she pressed on, "Now here's the guesswork and I have no physical proof but it fits. I was supposed to go to Alice and Frank Longbottom after you, but out of the blue they're given the all clear signal and are out in the open for the Lestrange's to gank them, now they're not in the way.

"Amelia Bones was next but pff, even Albus Too-Many-Names Dumbledore isn't arrogant enough to mess with that hardened war-witch, so while not sealed my parents will was 'misplaced' and never read, so off I went to the Dursleys to charge his secret anti-Voldemort battery."

Silence...then, "That...bastard..." She looked up in surprise to see an utterly infuriated Hermione, her fists were clenched and she was practically vibrating from her restrained rage; keeping Sirius in sight she walked up to the fuming brunette and wrapped her free arm around her. After a few tense seconds she began to relax, eventually Sirius broke the silence sounding incredibly tired yet determined,

"Ok...your plan? I'm in, claim the House of Slytherin as your own and I'll back you up, plus this is a prank worthy of a Marauder," looking at the mirror she could see he was smiling in amusement, even if it was a bit forced. "I mean really, a Gryffindor claiming control over the Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin, too good. I have some preparations to complete before we move to the next phase...like getting a haircut, you be careful Ha...Lilly, I'll keep in touch."

* * *

As Lilly shoved the two way mirror into a pocket she released Hermione while walking to the entrance, hissing at the massive vault like door a moment it soon began opening with an ominous groan, dust shaking from the ceiling.

"Seriously ostentatious Sal...ugh... ok this way 'Mione, mind the smell there's a rotting basilisk down here after all," noticing the foul odor the second the doors opened she cast a bubblehead charm on both of them. The raven haired girl turned around and gave her a heart stopping grin, "Thanks 'Mione, all right lets get this over with." Walking through the massive chamber and avoiding the oddly well preserved snake monster they eventually made their way to the central platform.

"What do you have to do now?" Lilly faced her again while rolling her eyes,

"I have to go through the entire laws of inheritance...in parseltongue, this is going to be a bit hang tight." She hadn't been kidding, even though to Hermione's ears it sounded like nothing but hissing after five minutes Lilly's voice took on a distinctly bored tone; eventually the chamber filled with a hissing echo in return.

Lilly's face twisted in disgust and she let out an irritated "tsh...fine asshole", she then sat cross legged and looked up to her friend, "Salazar says we have to view all of his 'True Heirs' defeats to take up the Ring of Slytherin...even the one my Reaper sealed up." Growling a bit she sat next to her friend and grabbed her hand,

"We'll watch it together...ok?" Smiling thankfully Lilly nodded, dropped her head and then they were somewhere else.

* * *

A cloaked figure marched unafraid through the village of Godric's Hollow confident that he'd finally sealed his destiny of immortality by offing the Potters and their brat. Whistling lightly to himself Lord Voldemort muttered the words,

"Another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust, hey I'm gonna get you too, another one bites the dust!" With that the jubilant snake faced wizard pulled his wand out and sent a blasting curse through the Potters front door, he heard a mans voice distinctly yell, "He's here!" as he pushed his way through the wooden splinters. "I do hope I'm not intruding Jam-" he didn't get to finish his quip as the shotgun blast nearly took his head off, fucking gray wizards and their refusal to follow the rules.

"Heyya king corpse nibbler, guess choosing Peter as secret keeper was a bad idea, I owe Moony twenty quid, ah well." With that several more shotgun blasts and curses were hurled towards the Dark Lord, grunting in annoyance and keeping his shields up he finally made it into the building proper. James Potter stood there tossing the shotgun aside grinning like a madman, his dark eyes showing no fear whatsoever; casting several spells the dashing man transfigured all the furniture into stone knights and sent them towards Voldemort.

As the Dark Lord began firing curses destroying the creations James swung up an old Sten sub-machinegun and unloaded it at Voldemort while casting curses in his off hand, 'I fucking HATE gray wizards, dark wizards drag shit out to torture you, light wizards fight to incapacitate, gray wizards kill you as fast as possible so they can hit the pub, ugh.' Diving out of the line of fire Voldemort threw several more curses and eventually hit James with a nasty case of necrosis, it would be fatal regardless of how this turned out.

As he slid to a stop James looked down at his rotting chest and sighed, "Oh well, guess that's that, gave her enough time though." Looking up at Voldemort he grinned and winked at his murderer as he whipped out a heavy box tapping its recessed button just as the killing curse struck him down.

"Fuck," Voldemort spat as the mines lining the room went off at once, shield charm or no the claymores hit him with at least a dozen rounds of buckshot. "God. Damn. Gray. Wizards. Seriously if it isn't the Potter's with their bloody mines and machine guns its the Longbottom's with their grenades and thermite." Muttering to himself the Dark Lord made his way upstairs and came face to face with a smirking redhead,

"Ello poppet," and before he could dive out of the way she roared "LANCE AUTEM ARDENTEM!" the beam of solid light burned Voldemort's left arm off at the shoulder, cauterizing the wound and sending him flying. Lily Potter began throwing hexes and charms towards him at a pace he could barely keep up with, still grinning she quipped, "Came all this way to kill my baby and you didn't expect mum to fight back? For shame Tom!"

Snarling he spat back, "I already killed your husband mudblood, soon you will follow!" She laughed, she _laughed_ at him, goddamn gray wizards, now on the defensive he backed up until he heard a child's crying, grinning he fired a blasting curse through the wall and ended up in a nursery. Seeing the crib in the far corner the Dark Lord grinned and aimed his wand at the child, "Avada Kedavra!"

"HARRY!" the damn Potter woman screamed as she dove through the doorway and landed in front of the curse placing her hands on the child as she died, rolling his eyes he limped to the dead body and pulled her off the crib, much to his consternation she was smiling. 'Whatever' he thought in annoyance, aiming at the mewling baby he sneered as he cast the killing curse one last time,

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" As the green light left his wand the Dark Lord for the first time noticed the room wide rune engraved on the floor that was suddenly glowing a deep red, as his curse rebounded Lord Voldemort's last mortal thought was "Oh bugger me."

* * *

The pair came to in the Chamber of Secrets, Lilly was crying but smiling widely, Hermione couldn't blame her, the Potters went out in a blaze of glory and had a contingency plan that no one could have anticipated. If there was one thing made very clear Harry/Lilly's unconventional way of handling things was most definitely hereditary, there was hissing and Lilly began laughing, she sobbed then laughed again.

"The Shade of Salazar Slytherin not only holds me as worthy of being his heiress he is also posthumously adding James and Lily to his family history because, and I kid you not "That was brilliant!" hehehe..." Hermione finally broke down laughing at this declaration, after several minutes of crying and laughing Lilly stood and offered her hand to Hermione.

Pulling the smaller witch to her feet, she froze in thought, turning to Hermione she asked "Well...what should my name be? This _is_ going to make it permanent and official so I shouldn't just jump into it." The shorter witch cocked her head to the side chewing her lip a moment before smiling and nodding to herself.

"Well, why not make Lilly short for Lillith, while it does have some negative connotations most people are so ignorant of mythology I doubt it would matter. As for middle names, since Alice Longbottom was your godmother why not honor her with taking up her name?" Smiling Lilly leaned down and kissed Hermione's forehead causing the bushy haired teen to blush,

"What would I do without you 'Mione? Err...what kinda of negative connotations by the way?" Blushing even more brightly she coughed into her hand as she muttered,

"According to some older Hebrew texts she was Adam of Eden's first wife who left him and became the first Succubus..." Lilly felt a brow raise on its own at that but then shrugged,

"So she wouldn't take a mans shit and liked sex...all right, I can deal with that," Hermione's face cooled as she rolled her eyes, not what she expected her friend to take from that but...wait...nevermind she should most certainly have expected that.

Strolling back to the center of the platform Lilly threw her arms wide and declared, "I, Lillith Alice Potter do so claim the title of Matriarch and Head of the most Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin through the Rules of Conquest and do so take upon myself the roles and responsibilities as Lady Slytherin, so it is said, so mote it shall be!" There was a flash of light and a moment later the statue of Salazar Slytherin's jaw popped open followed by a distinct 'patooie' noise.

Then Lilly was conked in the head by a piece of jewelry that fell to the floor as the witch began hopping about swearing up a streak, "Buggering mother fucking masonry arsehole! Who spits head of house rings at a woman huh?!" There was a distinct hissing laugh echoing through the chamber as she extended both middle fingers towards the statue in question.

Hermione for her part was too distracted holding in her laughter to reprimand Lilly for her language, still rubbing her head the witch in question turned her cool gaze to her friend nonplussed at her finding amusement in this situation. Eventually recomposing herself the brunette once again coughed in her hand as she pointed down at the glistening bit of jewelry,

"Shall we?" Still grumbling to herself Lilly leaned down and picked the ring up, rolling it in her palm she saw that it was composed of two intertwining silver snakes forming a double helix pattern, where their open jaws met sat a gleaming emerald.

"Shiny!" Both witches stated at once mesmerized by the ancient artefact, shaking her head Lilly, now Lillith placed it on her right ring finger, when it was fully seated a bellowing voice shook the very foundations of the school.

"Lillith Alice Potter has claimed the long dead title of Lady Slytherin, all hail your new lady, so it is said, so mote shall it be!" As dust fell from the rafters following the reverberating declaration Lilly looked at Hermione in wide eyed horror.

"Oh Shit."


	4. Chapter 4

**I always felt like the prisoners dilemma would be something to hang up wizards so I included it nearly two years ago in the original release, my opinion hasn't changed. Please read and REVIEW!**

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Hermione rubbed her temples watching her friend pace back and forth as the raven haired teen frantically swore at the ceiling in parseltongue, the only bits of English breaking through being the occasional curse or vow of vengeance. Eventually Lilly came to a dead stop as she stared up at Salazar Slytherin's statue, an incredulous look playing across her pale face.

"You could have said that five minutes ago Sal! Ugh...my ring allows me to apparate through the schools wards, and seeing as how the Headmaster is more then likely camping out in the girls loo at the moment it might be a good idea to take off." Glaring once again at the statue she hissed a few times and the response sounded...petulant.

"What was that about?" The shorter witch ask as her friend rolled her eyes, Lilly pinched the bridge of her nose while shaking her head slowly drawling out her reply in a sardonic tone.

"Thanked him for blowing my cover, his response was that he was just excited, typical...all right now that this can of worms is open I need a few things before I make my debut, feel like heading to Diagon alley with your trouble making friend?" Hermione worried her lip a bit, this would be breaking so...so many rules, on the other hand they were already in trouble and well...the new Harry was kind of intoxicating to be around. Before the accident he'd always been introverted and prone to sulking, now well...'Full of Life' was a great way to describe her best friend, nodding she smiled in return,

"Oh why not, but only if we can go to Flourish and Blotts at some point," smirking Lilly tilted her head down as her glasses slid down her nose, glowing emerald irises swimming with mirth.

"But of course anything for my Lady," for reasons Hermione couldn't quite put words to everything about that made her flush madly, seeing that her mission was accomplished Lilly laughed, grabbed her best friend by the waist whilst shooting her a wink. One second they were in the filthy confines of the Chamber of Secrets, next they were in The Leaky Cauldron, Hermione swayed a bit trying to gather her wits but Lilly seemed completely unfazed.

"I am never going to get used to that," Hermione grumbled under her breath, Lilly just shrugged as she walked to the bar,

"Get into enough death defying situations you tend to not notice, not that I'd suggest nearly dying on a yearly basis to desensitize yourself, rough on the mileage so to speak." Pausing Lilly turned to the bartender grinning widely as she displayed her pearly white smile, "Heyya Tom, I'd like two glasses of fire whiskey on the rocks, oh mix hers with a cola please," the weathered barkeep eyed Lilly warily, pulling out his wand he cast an identifier charm on her and his eyes widened in shock.

"Ha-Harry? The rumors are true then?" He stuttered this quietly enough to not gather the attention of the rest of the bar, nodding quickly Lilly in an equally quiet tone whispered her reply,

"Yeah Tom it is, no I didn't plan it, yes I'm stuck this way, no I don't really care at this point, as you can see I've had one _helluva_ week so I could really use the good stuff." Nodding unblinkingly he poured the drinks, sauntering over to Hermione it looked as if the raven haired teen had no idea how many stares she was drawing from the curious crowd.

Hermione really really really should put a stop to this, they were both technically underage, but just as with their apprating out of Hogworts it was simply another sin thrown onto the pile, shrugging she sipped her drink and nearly gagged as the potent liqueur burned her tongue.

"Merlin's beard that's strong!" Lilly laughed as she sipped her glass experimentally, looked surprised as to how smoothly it went down she muttered, "Thank you Mister Riddle" and a moment later chugged the rest of her glass. Hermione gaped at this a moment before glancing about becoming uncomfortably aware of how many of the patrons, mostly male mind you, were staring at her friend who remained oblivious to it all. _'She is still such a boy'_ she sighed inwardly.

Coughing as she took another large gulp of her mixed drink Hermione could already feel her cheeks flushing from the strong alcohol, catching her breath she asked what had been on her mind since they fled, "So Lilly, why are we here? I know you wanted to stop at Gringotts but was there anything else?" Nodding her friend swirled her glass absently as she stared vacantly at the wall, eventually pushing her glasses up with her middle finger she replied,

"Yeah, there's a jewelry store that has something I want, gonna need to get a few piercings but it'll be worth the effort, trust me on this one ok? Aside from that I'm going to need to grab a few books on Runes since I'm soooo ditching divination, I seriously have no idea why that course is even taught. Outside of that I need a new wardrobe, hell _Harry_ needed a new wardrobe, only reason he didn't upgrade was fear of the Dursleys finding out he had money."

It should be noted that what Hermione would rather accurately describe as an evil grin spread across the other witches full lips. "My Reaper let me in on the fact that 4 Privet Drive is now a smoldering crater, my 'Loving family' is now shacking up with 'Aunt' Marge...good riddance to bad rubbish I say." Her face fell and she had a far away haunted gaze in her glowing eyes before shaking herself free of a memory she felt was best left forgotten.

Finishing their drinks and now mildly tipsy the two truant witches made their way into the Alley proper and went straight to the Gringott's, as they walked up the steps Hermione asked,

"So Ancient Runes? If only a very good friend had suggested that you take that two years ago, such a shame you'll be behind the curve," Smirking while eyeing the brunette Lilly scoffed lightly,

"Yes yes from here on out when cute witches give me advice I'll actually listen to it instead of taking the easier route...it's so weird having all this energy available to me. Half the reason I took such a barmy course to begin with was because of the bouts of lethargy...now we know why but still it gets disconcerting to realize I was forced to be an underachiever due to outside forces." Only half listening Hermione was dealing with the excess blood rushing to her face from Lilly's admission that she thought the bookworm was cute; luckily Lilly was being introspective and didn't notice any change in her best friends disposition.

Reaching the doors Lilly held one open for her friend, walking past the guards and confusing the hell out of them by greeting them in a friendly manner she came to a stop in front of a teller; "May your gold flow freely and plentifully good sir, may I possibly have the honor of speaking to Director Ragnok? If it would expediate the process please inform him that Lillith Potter is here to see him."

The word Hermione would use to describe the goblins expression would be gobsmacked, definitely gobsmacked, after all how many wizards were friendly with goblins much less greet them in the traditional manner of their people? Rushing off to do as he was bid she glanced at the grinning Lady Slytherin,

"You seriously were paying attention to our history classes weren't you?" Face falling she snorted while shaking her head sending her hair swaying,

"No, Binns is the most useless Professor at that school...well...ok Trelawney has him beat but that's not really a class by definition, more along the lines of _'Do your potions homework while listening to Ron whinge'_. No right before the third task last year I nabbed a couple history and cultural texts because I kind of want to pass my history OWL this year and Cedric insisted that I'd need outside help, the more I think about it the more it feels like half our classes are designed to fail us..."

Hermione's eyes widened as she inhaled sharply, Lilly turned to her in confusion, "What?" Not thinking about it she quickly pecked the younger girl on the cheek while blushing profusely,

"Ahem...umm...I'm very proud of you..." Looking mildly bewildered (but pleased) Lilly shook her head and turned towards the approaching goblin while muttering "Women" to herself softly. The goblin bade them to follow and so they did, worming their way through the twisting corridors they ended up in a rather opulent office; a dignified looking goblin in an expensive suit sat behind the desk reading some document or another. Coughing lightly their escort stated,

"The Lady Slytherin Lillith Alice Potter and..." Lilly leaned in and whispered to him quietly, then he continued, "And her Goldkeeper Lady Hermione Jean Granger to see you sir." Hermione shot her a questioning look but the only response she received was one of the faintly glowing emeralds winking slyly, approaching the desk the pair sat in the offered chairs and waited in respectful silence.

Ragnok looked over his reading spectacles and seemed to gauge the two teens, eventually he removed the lenses and leaned back into his chair, nodding towards Lilly he stated,

"May your gold run freely and plentifully Lady Potter," smiling Lillith nodded in return,

"And may your enemies perish in bankruptcy and obscurity Directer Ragnok," Looking very pleased he pulled a folder out and pushed it towards Lilly,

"Here is the culmination of the Potter and Slytherin accounts, the Gaunt's, as you suspected ran the latter family into the ground, thankfully the main vault has not been accessed in well over five hundred years, if you can pass its tests you'll be given free access to what is yours." Looking a bit nonplussed Hermione asked,

"Wait, from what Lilly told me there was nothing left and the last heirs of Slytherin died destitute," Ragnok nodded at this while giving another wide smile, after all if this girl was the goldkeeper of such a polite and knowledgeable Lady then she deserved the courtesy.

"Indeed Lady Granger, but what they burned through was the trust fund similar to what Miss Potter had access to for her schooling, in order to actually retrieve the treasures of Slytherin one must pass a test, a charmed lock that only speaks in parseltongue and you must answer its riddle to prove you are a worthy heir. Sadly most of the Gaunt 's were...lacking in the cleverness department, inbreeding and all. The last attempt ending with the man in question quacking for three hours pointless, but amusing regardless."

"HA!" Lilly blurted out as she was sifting through the financial documents eventually nodding in satisfaction, "Ok Director this all looks good. I'll be refraining from claiming the Potter title until its absolutely necessary since the last thing I need is more social niceties, do I still have access to the vault even if I hold off on the claiming right?" Nodding the goblin motioned towards the Slytherin file,

"Unlike what the House of Slytherin has set up the Heir of Potter can claim what is in their vault before declaring Lord or Ladyship, I will supply you and your Goldkeeper with pouches that will dip from the Potter accounts. If you need muggle money just simply think about what country you are in and the name of the notes used and you'll pull the amount wanted out, as an added courtesy if you manage to open the Slytherin vault the bag will connect to that as well." Grinning widely as her glowing eyes flashed happily Lilly stated her opinion on the matter.

"Brilliant! Thank you director, I have many other plans for the near future and I hope to involve you and the goblin nation, change is coming, long needed change, and I do not rightly care who needs to die for it to happen." The Director grinned in reply, offering his hand he shook hers while nodding his head,

"I do believe it will be memorable, I hope to speak to you soon young Lady Slytherin, do take care now," with that the pair were lead off to the vaults, turning to Lilly Hemione asked,

"You don't care who dies?" Smirking Lilly tilted her head till it fell on Hermione's shoulder as she whispered quietly in return,

"When dealing with goblins its best to follow their cultural norms, casually talking about killing your enemies? Very much in line with the goblin mindset, I want them in my pocket, and I'm well on my way to getting that. That and seriously, you've seen the way the ministry works, are you going to cry if Lucius Malfoy is found dead in a closet due to a failed attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation?" Caught between a scandalous gasp and a chocking laugh Hermione settled for coughing loudly as she tried to get a breath in, glaring at her friend she eventually wheezed out,

"You're reprehensible you know that?" Grinning all the wider Lilly let out a quiet laugh as they approached the rail car to the vaults, as they began their descent the dignified Lady Slytherin amused the hell out of their guide by throwing her hands up whooping the entire way down to the vault. The Slytherin vault was...well much like many things Salazar Slytherin had a hand in, ostentatious, the massive silvered disk was covered in elaborate runes and its entire border dotted with interlocking jade serpents. Lilly looked...unimpressed, she shook her head in annoyance and approached the sealed door, cocking her head she glanced to Hermione,

"Well, any ideas or you think I should just start babbling at it?" Thinking a moment the brunette shrugged and nodded,

"Try talking to it, couldn't hurt now could it?" Lilly didn't have a counter to that so she nodded and turned back to the door she spoke in parseltongue, eventually one of the jade snakes slithered across the door and faced off against the Lady.

" _If you wisssh to enter the vault of the Mossst Ancient and Noble Houssse of Ssslytherin you mussst passss a tessst of cunning,"_ feeling slightly annoyed at the presentation Lilly drawled out her reply,

" _I ssswear if you asssk sssomething about the number 42, ssswallowsss, coconutsss, or my favorite color I'm hexing you."_ The snake for its part cocked its head in confusion then continued,

" _It isss a sssimple logic game, for sssome reassson the passt 427 attemptsss have been...lesss then impresssive, now are you prepared?"_ Shrugging she nodded, " _Very well, you and your companion are arresssted for a crime you did not commit, you are told if you both keep quiet your sssentance will be three years in Azkaban, if you accussse her of the crime your sssentence will be reduced to one year and hersss to five. Ssshe is given the sssame offer, do you trussst her to keep quiet or do you accussse her to ensssure your freedom."_ Lilly's eyes narrowed dangerously at this, she would _never_ betray a friend, much less Hermione, about to tell the snake exactly where her wand was about to end up she caught herself, that's Gryffindor talk, think like a Slytherin, smirking she had her answer.

" _The entire excercissse is moot, only the sssloppy and unssskilled get caught committing their own crimesss, and only a fool would allow themssselvesss to be blamed for sssomeone elsssesss, this sssituation would never occur because I follow our houssse'sss creed, 'Do not get caught.'"_ Apparently animated stone snakes can laugh, who knew, after a moment it nodded at her,

 _"That of courssse is the right anssswer young Lady Ssslytherin, do enjoy the ssspoilsss of your conquessst,"_ and with that there was a massive thunking noise as internal gears pulled the vault pistons aside and the door swung open. As the pair got their first look into the vault even their guide looked impressed,

"Well...I see claiming House Potter is going to be a moot point for the time being." The room was practically overflowing with gold coins, rare baubles, and books, oh so many books lined the walls, Hermione let out a jubilant squee as she rushed towards the story high shelves. Shaking her head in amusement Lilly turned to her goblin guide as he handed her a pair of thin leatherbound books that looked a bit like journals,

"These are 'Read-Alls', a gift from Director Ragnok, simply slot them into the shelves and push your magic into them, you'll be given access to any tome in this vault without having to withdraw them, it's for security purposes as well as convenience. As a bonus only the one who activates them can read what is written, oh! If you activate the charm on the back it will explode if someone else tries to *ahem*, force the issue." Suitably impressed she walked up to Hermione and handed her one of the Read-Alls whilst explaining its purpose, Lilly was fairly certain their was a Hermione shaped dustcloud in the space her friend had occupied a moment before hand.

Chuckling to herself she began exploring the room, her eye caught a glass display case that was missing several items, there was a fine dagger in the center surrounded by three empty slots, after a moment she realized that one of the slots was meant to hold her head of house ring. She looked about until she found an old piece of parchment jammed under the case, it read,

 _'The Treasures of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin, Salazar's Enchanted Locket, Band of the Head, Ring of the Family, and the Dagger of Remorse.'_

Looking down at the dagger she was at first apprehensive picking it up, really what moron just goes about grabbing enchanted items without finding out what they are first? Scanning it a few times with her wand she was a bit nonplussed to see how many enchantments were on the thing, it took her a moment to realize it was a goblin forged blade.

"Niiice" she crooned as she picked it up and spun the hilt between her fingers, she'd need proper training with it but damn if she wasn't happy with the find. Prowling about the room ignoring Hermione's excited mumbling Lilly threw a few this and thats into a recently acquired bottomless bag she nabbed off a shelf; most of her swag consisting of a shite tonne of galleons, hard cash was never a bad thing to have on hand.

Walking up to Hermione she guided her friend who was still reading an ancient tome out of the vault while nodded to the goblin to close it off, realizing she didn't have a sheath for the dagger she tossed it into the bag with the galleons and slung it to her thin belt. After the ride back up they walked down the streets significantly richer then they had been forty minutes earlier, a very lucrative day indeed. Eventually prying herself from whatever ancient book she'd been reading Hermione began looking about self consciously when Lilly asked,

"Ok brown eyes, whats up?" Looking a bit...apprehensive she said,

"I'm...its just you're getting all these stares looking as amazing as you do," Lilly felt a eyebrow raise at this, Hermione thought she looked amazing? Even in a school robe? Hmmm...her friend continued unabated so Lilly refocused her attention back on her, "I'm just...a bit drab and plain in comparison..." Snorting Lilly steered the bookworm towards Madam Malkins,

"Well can't have my Goldkeeper feeling like she's dressed tatty, lets get you something nice, if nothing else I'd love to see you in something like you had on during the Yule Ball," Hermione for her part blushed and set her gaze on the cobblestones.

"You remember that?" Genuinely surprised Lilly stopped and gently pressed her friend against a shops wall, their eyes met as Lilly truly tried to emphasize her point,

"Hermione, my entire fourth year was nothing but a series of attempts by an insane Death Eater to try and kidnap or off me while Dumbledore sat around eating sweets playing with himself. Seeing you in that gown was quite possibly the only high point of that bloody stupid ball and one of the only things I wish to remember from that godforsaken tournament, so no self depreciation ok?" Blushing even deeper she broke her gaze and nodded, satisfied Lilly led them into the store and a half hour later a rather fetching muggle-born and half-blood strutted out of the shop with full bags whilst dressed to impress.

"You really didn't have to pay that much for all this, its ludicrous!" Laughing Lilly patted her friends shoulder,

"Look at it this way 'Mione, we're spending Slytherin's gold, think about it the progenitor of all muggle-born bias paying for said muggle-born's dresses and knickers, sweet sweet karma." After a moment Hermione grinned in return,

"Well in that case why not hit the bookstore soon rather then later?" Rolling her eyes Lilly raised her hands in an attempt to placate the other woman,

"Hold your hippogriffs...god that sounds stupid...anyway lets get my jewelry first, I've always wanted one of these things but well...I really couldn't think of a way to justify it with all the "responsible" adults insisting they manage my affairs." Curiosity piqued Hermione followed her into a very high end jewelry store, luckily they were dressed the part and were practically fawned over the moment they entered the door. neither girl knew if that was better then being out and out ignored, how irritating.

Looking through the display cases Lilly pointed at a set of simple silver stud earrings and what looked like a tongue piercing, "I'd like two sets of these please," the employee helping them looked surprised, trying to not sound condescending she attempted to dissuade Lilly.

"Ma'am those are...quite expensive, very old and powerful enchantments are used in their forging, if you'd like-" Lilly tapped into her Head of House Ring's memories to see how a pissed off Lady would act, surprisingly it was exactly how she wanted to handle this.

"Listen, I am damn well aware of the Babel enchants, I'm well aware of how expensive they are, and I'm equally aware that you get commission off any sales you make; so unless you want me to grab the cute blonde over there to take my money I suggest you drop the attitude and do your bloody job."

Both Hermione and the saleswoman looked at her in shock, the woman then frantically unlocked the cases and grabbed two sets of the jewelry, she scrambled to the backrooms to go find something or other while Lilly played the rich bored snob.

"Lilly, what was that all about?" Looking to Hermione she gave a brief flicker of a smile before murmuring so only her friend could hear her,

"Simply put I am a Lady of one of the most ancient and apparently wealthy houses in the magical world, and Harry had to deal with enough condescending store clerks who looked down at him for his second hand clothes, I no longer have the patience to play that game." Seemingly satisfied by this they were soon rejoined by the saleswoman who apologized but professed that since the enchants would bind the jewelry to their magical cores she needed the money first; rolling her eyes Lilly tossed the money pouch on the counter and handed over the mountain of coins.

This action was not lost on the rest of the store but Lilly didn't pay any real attention to that, after a few moments looking like a landed fish the saleswoman sorted the fortune out then took them to a backroom then left them to their devices; eventually a heavily tattooed witch came in whistling jauntily.

"Ello lovelies, I'm Vanessa and I'm here to poke holes in your heads," grinning in response Lilly introduced them and sat in the offered chair. "Alrighty I'm aware its a bit taboo to mention anything that goes against the grain but due to previous...incidents I need to ask, which way do you swing?"

Lilly laughed, glanced at Hermione and smirked, Vanessa snorted at that while Hermione remained ignorant of the action and instead asked, "Why does that matter?" Vanessa glanced up from the thick needle she was hitting with a disinfecting charm as she replied absently,

"Oh the tongue stud, sexual orientation depends on the placement, his or her pleasure and all that, put it in the wrong spot once and the bloke came back screaming everyone thought he was a sword swallower; mind you I did it on purpose because I thought he was a prat but still." Hermione blushed multiple shades of red and seemed to lose her ability to speak, Lilly satisfied herself with another smirk and let the woman pierce her ears then tongue, goddamn that hurt.

Vanessa cast a few healing charms and the sharp pain became a dull ache, after a few more moments she felt the enchants bind to her, smiling she glanced up at Hermione,

"Je vous le dis jamais que tu es belle?" Looking a bit shocked Hermione gave Vanessa a sharp look,

"That's French, terrible French, but French. Why is she speaking French?" Laughing Vanessa gave Lilly an appraising look,

"Dragged her out here and didn't even tell her what you spent a fortune on huh? Girl must have some faith in you, that my dear is the Babel enchant, the earrings allow you to understand any language you hear and the stud allows you to speak it. The more time you spend with a particular language the more natural and less ridiculous you sound, eventually you'll fully assimilate the language and no longer need the stud and earrings, very very powerful magic, hence the cost."

No longer squeamish about this new endeavor Hermione allowed the procedure to be performed on her, she was stuck speaking German for about five minutes before she finally got the hang of it.

"This is...brilliant, thank you so much Lilly I've always been able to speak French since we holiday there yearly but I've wanted to learn new languages for ever so long! Why did you want it though?" As they were walking out of the store Lilly scowled a bit,

"Wanted them since last year, I could never bloody understand what Krum and Fleur were saying with those thick accents of theirs, but of course Dumbledore told me I couldn't get them, it was ' _financially irresponsible.'_ Pff, like making a fourteen year old kid fight fucking dragons was responsible..." Her face darkening they walked in silence for a time before they reached the book store, leaving Hermione to go be...Hermione Lilly searched out the texts she needed for class. After paying for them and accepting the free shrinking charm she tossed books into her bottomless bag and sighed, Hermione wouldn't want to leave for another hour at least.

Deciding to just go wander about a bit she stepped out of the store and figured she'd grab something to eat to pass the time, as she passed a dingy alley she felt a strong grip grab her arm and with a yelp she was dragged into illusioned shadows.

* * *

Hermione had a very specific subject to research, and while she didn't know which book contained the answers she needed the brightest witch of her age wouldn't let that deter her search; sifting through the endless shelves she was starting to get frustrated. That is unfortunately the thing about the wizarding world, they were so reliant on magic that simple things like alphabetizing their blasted books was a foreign concept to them, she was about ready to just give in and ask for help when she found a promising lead. Sifting through the rather sparse collection on none human societies she finally found what she wanted, grabbing the tome on goblin culture she sought out a dark corner and began reading.

"About time to find out what a blasted Goldkeeper is..." the text was incredibly dry even by her standards, either the writer was getting the information secondhand or the goblins sincerely wanted to make it difficult to learn anything about them, could honestly go either way for the devious little bankers. She'd leafed through three quarters of the tome before she caught site of her goal, muttering to herself she read the passage,

 _"To a goblin nothing is more important then the safety of ones wealth and family, clan bonds are strong and only the most trusted of a clan leaders followers are appointed the title of 'Goldkeeper'. It has many connotations though it is usually used in reference to a second in command who has proven their loyalty on several occasions or more often then not the clan leaders lover."_

Eyes widening to the size of saucers Hermione placed the book beside her and stared off into the distance, she wasn't sure how long she sat there but eventually all she could say was, "Oh my..."

* * *

Lilly was pulled into what she estimated was a stand alone illusion that a third year could outdo, the man who grabbed her looked like he may or may not be a shaved gorilla, his blank stupid eyes really didn't help that comparison either. With that thought finished she was forced against the wall and held in place by her throat, the memories of 4 Privet drive were beginning to crack through and she had to force her mental shields into full power before she went into a panic attack. Eyes flaring as rage began to take hold of her she beat back the emotions frantically, _'NO, I'm in charge, I control my life now, no one is going to hurt me, no one is going to use me again!'_.

Before her fury could fully envelope her she heard a an irritatingly high pitched mans voice coming towards her from deeper in the alley; unlike his associate who looked like he'd been acquired from Rent-A-Thug it looked as if this man styled himself as some sort of dandy. The well kept robes, slicked back hair and thin mustache screamed 'wannabe cultured,' to Harry he looked like trouble, to Tom he was a spineless bottom feeder.

"Well well little lady, it would appear that your skiving off class was a bad idea yes? Now please, your wand?" Before she could say anything the big brute used his free hand to grab her wand and toss it to the ponce, smiling he reached out and held her by the chin and turned her head to face him, "A pretty thing aren't you, well here's the situation, I see you have a Gringotts bag and those have oh so many nasty safeguards on them. So while I may not be willing to risk...helping you carry such a heavy burden, you could quite easily ask for my assistance."

Scare tactic, imply that your beauty reflects the encounters potential to devolve into violence or something more carnal, he's well aware alive or dead the bag will still blow his hands into bits if he tries to force it open. Speaking with familiarity, probably not his first time doing this, nor would it be his last.

'Thank you Tom' she reflected silently. Well this was annoyingly cliche, she could probably wandless stun both these idiots but she really hadn't been looking for trouble, she'd try to go for diplomacy first,

"As..." gasping against the massive hand wrapped around her neck she tried again, "As kind of an offer as that is sir I'm more then capable of bearing such a burden on my own, if you don't mind I'd like to be on my way." Sneering now the thief began stroking her cheek with the back of his hand '... _Cold, dark, broken, don't touch me...don't touch me again Vernon...'_

"Well that is just a crying shame, perhaps we should ask your friend if she can convince you otherwise, I'm sure we could come to a...consensus," eyes momentarily flaring bright enough to cast the mans shadow on the far wall she growled out,

"You lay one finger on Herm-" chocking off the rest of her sentence as the fist closed around her throat Lilly nearly blacked out, _'Shit why does trouble always have to find me?_ '. The man began sneering at her all pretense of civility evaporating,

"Listen princess you don't make any threats around here, give me your bag or I'll make you _wish_ you had," with that he began pawing her chest and that was it, Harry and Tommy were coming out to play,

"Oh just DIE!" Mr. Gorilla was slammed into the far wall every bone in his body broken, stumbling back the ponce hit the ground trying to back away from the lithe girl as she landed gracefully on her feet; her untamed magic whipping about sending long hair and skirts fluttering. She glanced down at the dead thug and coolly stated, "Pity, hadn't planned on killing him yet, problem with duel casting a bone breaker and banisher, ah well, live and learn."

She paused and looked about noticing the lack of any sort of reaction from the passing pedestrians, "Hmm...no one is rushing over here, so I suppose you were able to cast a somewhat presentable silence charm on top of the shite illusion, good for you."

Shifting her gaze to the man she had dubbed 'Ponce' she pointed a finger at him, "Accio wand," catching her wand she aimed it at the man who was now soiling himself, "Hmm...lets see what you've been up to, haven't really gotten to try my legilimency since I ate Voldemort's soul." Ok yes, she was hamming it up a bit, but the look of horror that spread across the man's face was hilarious so well worth it,

"Do-don't please!" Sneering in a manner that she honestly thought would have Professor Snape nod in approval she snarled,

"Sorry Ponce you don't get to beg for mercy, yet, _Legilimens!_ " As far as her first foray into mental magic went it could have been better, the man had done this many times, usually in muggle areas were no one would notice, as it stood he had been scoping the jewelry store out looking for potential targets when he had seen Lilly pay for the Babel jewelry.

Ponce, whose name was actually 'Mitch' had followed through on his threats on other targets many times, rape, murder, and theft, lovely, sighing she stopped casting the spell as the man gasped on the ground. Well this wouldn't do, walking over to the dead gorilla she riffled around until she found his wand, standing up she walked back to him as he struggled to stand,

"Wh-wha-what are you doing?" he managed to stutter out, glaring at him her eyes little more then flickering embers she eventually spoke,

"You know, I could take you to the Aurors, have you processed through the courts, spend a couple months stint in Azkaban, and you'll be back on the street doing this all over again, just like the last four times. Seriously everything about magical Britain is diseased or broken, so I suppose someone has to clean it up.

"I've heard this curse requires you to really hate someone, that it will actually hurt the caster if they can't maintain and focus their emotions, quiet an interesting intellectual exercise." Smiling coldly she cocked her head to the side, "I'm curious to see if I hate you enough to pull it off," and with that she flicked the Mister Gorilla's wand at the Ponce, "Avada Kedavra."

Her assailants lifeless body collapsed to the filthy cobblestones as the wand in her hand began emitting foul smelling smoke from its tip, staring down at the corpse for a moment Lilly sighed in annoyance, "Well... _that_ did nothing for me..."

* * *

 **As always I'm going to have to go edit through this a fifth or sixth time...ugh...anyway please review...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Like last chapter this one was mostly heavy re-editing of dialogue and cutting of content, for the most part this segment of the story didn't really need changed other then making everyone behave less like dumbass kids. As you've likely noticed this update was fairly quick but on that note I did not need to change nearly as much as I did in the beginning chapters, give or take a chapter or three the new content will become far more evident soon.**

 **I suppose in a few words I can say this chapter had less content that made me cringe then earlier entries...still probably going to have to go over it with a fine tooth comb tomorrow...ugh. Regardless please read and review, take care all!**

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Lilly tapped her chin lightly with her forefinger as she stared at the dead bodies at her feet, as much as she tried to will herself to do so she just couldn't give a damn that she'd killed two men and that was rather disconcerting truth be told. It was a very odd feeling to think you did something wrong while in the same breath not caring in the slightest that you did it; a psychological quandary that would probably make a shrink quite wealthy if she ever decided to explore it. Realizing after a time that she was still holding the burnt out smoldering wand she'd taken from the Gorilla's corpse she tossed it aside and transfigured it into a an empty butterbeer bottle.

"Ok...well, Hermione will still be doing what she does and hopefully being coy about the 'Goldkeeper' thing got her curious enough to look it up. Hmm... I'm still hungry, I don't care in the slightest that I just murdered two crooks and I'm vaguely aware that I'm uncomfortably close to walking the path Tom had taken, albeit for better reasons...what do I do?"

The answer to that was her walking into Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour; grinning at the bearded man she politely stated her intentions, "Ello Mr. Fortescue, I'd like two chocolate sundaes, with the works please."

The friendly man winked at her as he prepared the ice cream, "No problem little lady, trying to entice someone?"

Snorting she rolled her eyes, "If she would stop being so oblivious yes, otherwise I'm just being a good friend."

Pausing at that Florean sighed knowingly, "Do yourself a favor young lady and keep those thoughts to yourself around the purebloods, same sex relationships have a tendency of ending in heartache, or if a muggleborn is involved, death. Change from the norm is not well appreciated in our world sadly enough..."

Giving the man a once over Lilly nodded in return then thought _'Sound advice for sound advice, hopefully he accepts it'._ "I'll do that, and listen you won't believe me, no one does, but that bastard Voldemort managed to bring himself back from the brink, if I were a betting woman I'd guess he'd be springing his buddies from Azkaban soon, you might want to skedaddle to avoid the fallout."

His blue eyes darkened a bit as he appraised her and eventually sighed again this time sounding exhausted, "You honestly believe that don't you Harry?" Standing ramrod straight in shock she could only eye him as he shook his head,

"Of course I know its you, the rumors are flying on what happened to you and you're the only one who's been openly claiming You-Know-Who is back aside from Dumbledore, plus the scar is pretty telltale...blast it all... ok if you think that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has returned I'll head home to France for a time. Thanks for the heads up young lady, the sundae's are on me, take care."

A very bewildered Lilly Potter made her way back to her best friend as she shook her head trying to process what just happened, "Amazing, I'm utterly befuddled by someone actually listening to me...huh." She mused on this as she flitted through the crowds and before she could enter the bookstore a very contemplative looking Hermione met her out front.

"Oh, hello Lilly, what have you been up to?"

Shrugging the raven haired teen handed off one of the sundaes, "Acquiring sweets for you, not that you really needed help in the deviancy department but I figured since we're disobeying every rule in the book at the moment you'd jump at the chance to defy the dentists in your family."

It looked like she was really, really trying to force it away but eventually a smile blossomed on her best friends face as she accepted the treat, "You are incorrigible, you know that right? Thank you Lilly, I appreciate the effort."

Nodding she sat down on an empty bench and Hermione soon followed, neither of them said a word as they tore into their sundaes, eventually Lilly coughed to break the silence. "Ok well, confession time, I kinda just killed two blokes and I don't rightly care that I did so, not sure what to think on that."

It said something on the nature of their relationship that Hermione only paused a moment before taking another bite of her ice cream, "Why?"

No accusation, no lecture, just curiosity, damn did she love that witch.

"Tried to rob me, eventually they threatened you and I snapped, killed the first by accident, you'd have been proud, duel silent wandless spellcasts, still reeling from that one. Second guy I kinda rammed my way into his brain and saw he planned on raping and murdering me like his other victims and he'd gotten away with a slap on the wrist before, so I just removed him from the equation."

Hermione sat there a moment, placed her sundae aside and grabbed the back of Lilly's head forcing her to look into the smaller witch's eyes, "You're ok though right?"

The slightly startled teen smiled sadly at the concern in her friends voice as she replied, "Of course, I'm just wondering if I'm becoming like the monsters I've been fighting with how easy it was, like Nietzsche said, sometimes when you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back."

Now looking startled her bookworm friend asked, "You've read Nietzsche?"

Rolling her eyes she retorted, "Yes brown eyes I've read Nietzsche, Lovecraft, Wells, Herbert, Shakespeare, Adams, Stoker, Shelly, and Sun Zu; when your childhood is spent being stalked by someone who has an allergic reaction to literature you tend to find yourself at the library often."

Hermione sat there a few moments the contemplative look returning to her face, eventually she spoke her mind, "Lilly, I looked up what a 'Goldkeeper' is...do you really view me like that? As someone who has your complete trust? As...a potential lover?" Lilly paled at the abrupt subject change but managed to screw up her Gryffindor courage enough to nod weakly, a moment later Hermione whipped out her wand and cast several privacy charms around them.

In a blur of motion the bushy haired witch was suddenly straddling Lilly as she wormed her arms around her neck kissing her best friend deeply, that...that was not expected. A small note of irritation entered the back of Lilly's mind despite the bundle of sexy sitting in her lap, ' _ **That's** what it took? Making oblique references to goblin social stations and talking about my favorite books? This witch...'_ .

As the kiss deepened Hermione's hands drifted down Lilly's shoulders and past her arms to lock tightly around her waist, eventually her brown eyes fluttered open as she reluctantly broke the kiss to stare into Lilly's brightly glowing gaze.

For once she was the one smirking coyly at her deeply blushing friend. "Are you just going to sit there or are you going to take us some place more private Miss Potter?"

* * *

Sirius Black was amongst many things, most of which were admittedly true, a free spirit; so being confined to the hated home of his even more hated family sapped much of the life from him which did nothing to help his Dementor deteriorated mental health.

His being forced into hiding was now even more grating with Lilly's revelations; if what she suspected was correct he'd been cast aside and sent to the closest thing to Hell on Earth by a man he'd looked up to as a father for the sole purpose of usurping authority over his godchild. So it was not really shocking that he'd immediately accepted his newly minted goddaughter's rather amusing scheme and his part in it.

Right now though he had to prepare, and one of those preparations was to _not_ look like a vagrant, it had only taken a floo call for Fleur Delacour to show up and give him a makeover, seeing as he couldn't exactly go to a salon it was his only real option outside of Molly. Plus, while he'd never interfere with Bill's love life there was nothing quite like being under the ministrations of a French Veela; as he mulled over asking her if she had any older single relatives the front door was abruptly slammed open.

The pair started at the commotion as they rushed from the kitchen to glance down the hall, what awaited them was two witches snogging the hell out of each other as if there was no tomorrow. A moment later his mothers portrait began to go off on another rant when the raven haired teen whipped her wand out and blasted the painting with a curse he'd only ever seen Lily Potter pull off. As the beam of light faded the smoking hole in the wall was ignored by the busy couple as they absently closed the door, Sirius belatedly realized the curse happy witch was his Goddaughter as she scooped the smaller bushy haired girl in her arms.

Walking past Sirius the bespectacled teen winked at him and marched upstairs, hearing the muffled crack of a door slamming shut Fleur met Sirius eyes and after a moment they both broke down laughing. Leaving the kids to do what kids do Sirius sat patiently for another ten minutes until Fleur finished his makeover, now admiring his new stylish goatee and primped shoulder length hair he couldn't help but think, ' _Black is back baby!'._

As Fleur began cleaning up the rather large amount of hair on the floor there was an ear piercing wail from the main hall, signing Sirius stuck his head through the doorway to see Kreacher holding Walburga Black's scorched, smoldering portrait frame.

"MISTRESS! FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS KILL YOU! It was the blood traitors mudblood whore did this, yes, Kreacher will show her a mudbloods place! YES!" Before he could stop the insane house elf he had already apparated away to fulfill whatever deranged revenge he saw fit to bestow on the young couple.

Honestly, "Ah hell" was the only reaction he could muster, he'd never hear the end of this no matter how it ended.

* * *

Snog session currently in progress Lilly lay on the love seat with her arms wrapped around Hermione's waist, eventually having to come up for air Lilly finally found herself capable of speaking and more importantly, thinking clearing.

"Not..ahem...not that I'm complaining or anything but when did you suddenly get into girls?"

Blushing furiously Hermione kissed her again before answering, "I'm not, well not strictly, I'm into you, Lilly who was Harry; it does not matter what you look like now you are still the best friend that I fell in love with and have stood beside through thick and thin since our first year at Hogwarts."

Lilly grinned at how incredibly sappy that sounded and pulled the bookworm back down to crush her lips against her own, as their hands began...exploring...other options there was a crack of an apparation beside them. Looking over quickly both young ladies eyes widened in shock as they were charged by a screaming hatchet wielding Kreacher.

* * *

The screams...were not unexpected, the ceiling in the sitting parlor exploding in a cascade of rotting wood, broken plaster, and cobwebs was; in the center of the dusty and smoldering mess was the hopefully dead body of Kreacher. Glancing up through the hole in the ceiling he met a rather disheveled Lilly's gaze, lifting his brows in question he made a mental note to ask her how she did that brilliant eye glowing thing before he spoke up.

"So...everything handled pup?"

He heard her mumble a few rather creative curse words before she finally replied, "Yeah we're good, Hermione wants to know if I killed the fucking psychopath," she paused and winced as the older witch spoke up, Lilly quickly nodded then continued. "Right...sorry 'Mione...Sirius can you check on him please?"

Grimacing he walked up to the filthy elf and looked down at it, a moment later he sighed back up to her, "Nope, unfortunately you did not manage to kill him this time...damnit..."

Sighing Lilly sounded slightly relieved but her face betrayed her shared annoyance, "Ok good, would never hear the end of that, anyway I'm using your bedroom, pardon we're using your bedroom, see you in a half hour."

Laughing to himself he left Kreacher in the rubble, he'd let the elf clean it up later. Served the rotten little blighter right as far as he was concerned.

* * *

Roughly an hour later two blushing witches made their way downstairs where Fleur and Sirius were both waiting in the kitchen, sipping tea. The blonde Veela looked up first and grinned at the pair, asking, "So 'Arry, are we going to 'ave to 'ave ze talk now?"

Face falling the teen in question whined piteously, "Are you serious?"

Grinning the French woman took a sip of her tea and replied,"Non, zat is your godfather, I am Fleur."

Sirius stared at her blankly before he asked, "Did...did you just steal me joke?"

Now giggling the Veela nodded, "Oui, I 'ave been waiting all day to do it too!"

Shaking his head Sirius glanced to the still standing couple, "Ok Pup, I get why you're friends with her, come take a seat we've got things to talk about!" Taking their seats the two young ladies kept trading furtive glances which only had Sirius laughing inwardly, Ah young love, nothing like it.

Once settled he continued, "Well we've gotten a report from Hogwarts that Harry, rather Lilly, is missing and the Headmaster is having kittens over the entire ordeal but is doing his best to keep it quiet. Good luck to him after that school wide announcement of your ascension, hope he has fun with that.

"No one seems to have noticed Hermione's gone missing yet but I'm sure that's just because no one checked the library," that got a snort from both teens who were still making googly eyes at each other.

Fleur cleared her throat and continued for him, "Now, zere is somezing you two need to realize, while mainland Europe and some of Asia don't quite...care about ze whole same sex zing wizarding Britain is quite conservative, 'Arry I know how little you care what ozers zink but please try to refrain from anyzing too crazy? You are untouchable as a Lady of an Ancient 'ouse, 'ermione...not so much."

Nodding thoughtfully Lilly stroked her chin and looked to the ceiling, "Right, bigotry, they won't look at the fact that I was a guy less then a week ago they're going to look at two very hot women being into each other...lovely...thanks for the tip Fleur. Hmm...I could just kill them all...messy but acceptable..."

Before anything else could be said Kreacher stumbled into the room, "Mudblood whore! Half blood traitors! You all pay for hurting the mist'-"

He was cut off by Fleur as she hit him with a stunner as the beautiful blonde rolled her eyes; looking to Sirius she sheepishly said, "Sorry, I can only take so much from 'im."

He waved it off smiling as Lilly stood up shaking her head in annoyance, "I'll check him this time." As she approached the passed out elf a hissing sound could be heard from the locket dangling from around his neck, kneeling down she took it in hand and swiftly removed it from Kreacher's person. Staring at it in confusion she hesitantly hissed in return, with a dull click the gold locket split open and white light enveloped the startled witch.

* * *

Lilly had not been anticipating dealing with a Horcrux today, in fact she was barely beginning to process the fact that she'd gotten to second base with her best friend when the alien presence began invading her brain. The imagery was of course deeply unpleasant, this shard of Tom's soul was trying to play off her base fears but couldn't really find a crevice to land a hook into.

Its not like she had no fears, she had plenty, but what it tried to worm into was just a bunch of none issues, Hermione loved her, this afternoons...activities proved that beyond a doubt. Sirius really wanted to be her guardian, emancipation or not the man was determined to be there for her, and Ron despite being a barely intelligible foodsack had always come back in the end to help.

Hell, the rest of the Weaselys always had her back as well, Bill and Charlie were the consummate gentlemen (and the new girly parts of her brain threw in 'Hot' as well, ick) Percy was a prat but meh, can't have them all, and the twins and Ginny were amazing partners in crime. No, this deft little bastard wasn't going to play on any fears of inadequacy, eventually it got frustrated and addressed her directly much to her amusement.

"Your mind is well shielded, I can offer you power untold if you simply let me in, together we can forge a destiny of greatness!" Holy. Shit. This thing just went full Palpatine...sighing Lilly began pulling at the edges of Horcrux magic, eventually she found the complex runic matrix that kept the abomination intact and began unraveling it.

"Sorry Tom, I am you and you are me, I know you better then you know yourself, and while I must say you are significantly less insane then the bit of you that was jammed in my brain you're just quite simply not my type."

As the magics surrounding them began to come apart a distinct keening whine could be heard from the Horcrux, ' _Gonna go deaf...seriously stop already_ ', "NO! I am Lord Voldemort, I am undying, I am immortal!"

Lilly silently hoped that she was not doomed to deal with a cliche villain death speech every time she destroyed one of these things while at the same time resigning herself to it. Not willing to give the soul fragment another chance at a one liner Lilly focused on the new magics flooding her system, after a time she came to back in the kitchen as her hand was being soaked in ichor pouring from the locket.

As a screaming face appeared from the smoke roiling forth she couldn't help but drop her glowing eyes to meet the suffering shades ashen black gaze, "Was it good for you Tommy? Cause I could go all night...oh well, two minute wonder aside, I'll give you a call later," and with that she blew on the fading specter as it fell into dust.

Scourgifying then examining the rather gaudy bauble the snake in its center hissed out a pleased greeting, " _Thank you mistresss, it burned...it hurt ssso much when the falssse heir put hisss foul touch on me, I am now yoursss to command,"_ as black talons of electricity spread from the locket down her body she shuddered as the ancient Slytherin magic became hers.

Shaking her head a couple times Lilly shakily dropped the heavy chain around her neck as she walked back to the stunned table and plopped down in the chair next to Hermione's. "Well that was a thing, mind pouring me a few fingers of fire whiskey Padfoot? This is going to take some explaining."


	6. Chapter 6

**We're slowly but surely reaching the point were the story will diverge from the original, to those who read the first one there is going to be a major change on how Bellatrix and Lilly meet. Don't worry, she's still going to be Lilly's Wicked Witch, just a much more fleshed out meeting of the minds. Anyway, as the A/N on the bottom says, I know this is rough and I'll touch it up tomorrow, please enjoy and review!**

* * *

As Lilly finished detailing her rather insane story the two adults in the room stared at her incredulously, shaking his head Sirius coughed, took a shot of firewhiskey, then a second.

After a time he finally spoke, "Well pup, that's...that's quite the tale, but you erm... you made one rather glaring mistake if what you think about Dumbledore is true."

Emerald eyes flashing in annoyance she asked, "What?"

Sighing Fleur spoke first, she looked more...resigned then anything. "You told us and 'Ermione, 'Arry, if Dumbledore 'as done as you 'ave said zen 'e can read any of our minds, and I doubt 'I ate Voldemort's soul' will really engender trust wiz the old man."

Eyes dimming slightly she sat silently for a moment, truly absorbing her folly and how she had ruined all her plans by confiding in her friends. Much to her companions surprise she abruptly began swearing in Russian. Sirius for his part sat there in mild amusement as the raven haired young woman began pacing the room, switching languages seemingly at random.

It was a testament to Hermione's patience that she allowed her girlfriend to cycle through most curses commonly used in Europe before interrupting her. Walking up behind the still rambling teen she wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close.

At this, Lilly finally relaxed as Hermione calmly spoke. "Lilly dear please settle down, I think they were just trying to emphasize that you cannot throw this information about lightly. I sincerely doubt a pure-blood heir and a part Veela witch lack mental shields, am I correct?"

Sirius grinned and nodded while winking towards Lilly. "Right on that account little one, sorry pup I honestly just wanted to see how long you'd ramble. I gotta say I'm very impressed with your versatile vulgar vernacular," the old Marauder stated proudly.

Nodding Fleur tapped her forehead as she spoke, "Not only iz it difficult to view my zoughts, zere is a very real chance ze attempt will damage the attackers mind. A natural defense against wizards who cannot take non for an answer." Relaxing Lilly shook her head in annoyance as she broke Hermione's light grasp, the motion sending her hair sashaying back and forth.

"Well thanks for scaring the hell out of me you two, consider the lesson learned, what about Hermione?"

Sirius shrugged at that, "I can give her the basics of occlumency right now really. It's a mental exercise and while she won't pick it up immediately she is a frighteningly intelligent young witch so I'm sure she won't have a hard time becoming proficient at it in time. You can even help shore up the defenses if she lets you in her mindscape willingly, keep in mind though Dumbledore only does passive scans on surface thoughts alright? This means that as long as he thinks she's not involved he won't really bother outside of a cursory glance." Nodding thoughtfully the Lady Slytherin stopped as her locket began hissing.

Glancing down at the bauble she grinned viciously in turn. "Dobby!"

With a snap the eccentric elf appeared before her hopping up and down in excitement, "Mistress Lilly Potter calls Dobby! What can Dobby be doing for Mistress Potter?!"

Smiling at the little elf she raised a brow and asked, "Did Luna Lovegood get my letter?"

Nodding emphatically the excitable little creature hopped foot to foot, "Dobby gave the little Loveygood the letter as Mistress Lilly Potter asked, she told Dobby that she'd write a reply once you were done speaking to your Reaper!" Stopping dead in her tracks she looked at the elf incredulously then after a moment just shrugged it off. Seriously at this point, why be surprised?

Taking off her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose she let out a small sigh. "O...k... Dobby I'm officially asking you to be bound to House Potter and to be my chief house elf-" Shooting a quick glance at Mt. Hermione as she was about to erupt Lilly quickly threw in, "-And offer you a salary of ten galleons a week plus any wardrobe you prefer, is this acceptable?"

If truth be told Lilly was not all that comfortable with having a sobbing house elf latch himself to her leg, Fleur and Sirius' laughter was not helpful at all in that regard either.

Eventually Dobby composed himself and stood ramrod straight, "Dobby be accepting this Mistress Lilly Potter!" There was a brief flash of magic and that was that. Dobby eyed her in shock after he was bound and after a few awkward moments he began cackling, yeah...not creepy. "Mistress Lilly Potter is a very very powerful witch, Dobby be enjoying this more then he imagined."

Not quite feeling comfortable with that she glanced to Hermione. "Dobby, Hermione is my...err-" wracking her brain for the elf term she eventually gave it up as a bad job and threw out "-bondmate, treat her as you'd treat me all right?"

Dobby agreed of course while Hermione blushed deeply as Lilly continued her instructions. "Ok Dobby, I've just been informed that promise rings have a warding power against mind magic. I need you to hit the Potter vault and bring the Potter family ring box to me ok?" Grinning and throwing out a rakish salute the elf disappeared in a flash.

After taking a contemplative moment of silence Sirius broke down into peels of laughter, "Congratulations on the mentally unstable elf pup, and quick thinking there by the way. Where did you get the idea to use the old magics in the family rings?"

Grinning impishly Lilly walked to Hermione and pulled her close, "Salazar's locket has a connection to whatever that statue of his is in the Chamber of Secrets. It informed me that promise, betrothal, and wedding rings held by the Pure-blood families block out most mental magic. The Slytherin ones were sold off by the Gaunts but the Potters should still be there."

Fleur snorted at this as she put the tea pot and cups into the sink, "A clever work around 'Arry, so now what?"

At this point Hermione interjected, "Well...after I...I accept a promise ring," at this point it should be noted she was redder then a radish, "I think we should head back to Hogwarts. Lilly can apparate where she wants so she can leave me in the library and then make her entrance. Dinner is in an hour so that gives us time to prepare."

Smiling down at her girlfriend Lilly continued, "Good idea love, Fleur...I have a request I have to honestly say I never anticipated having to make even in my darkest days at the Dursleys."

Cocking her head the French Veela replied, "Oh, what is zat 'Arry?"

Coughing she scratched the back of her head sheepishly, "I need you to give me a makeover so I can impress the hell out of the entire school. Appearances mean alot and while I'm fine with being a woman now I'm...not sure I'm going to stop gender identifying as a guy anytime soon. Sooo...yeah...make me pretty cause I have no idea what I'm doing? Please?"

Fleur then proceeded to terrify the hell out of her as she flashed an overly pleased predatory grin, "Oh, I was 'oping zis would come up! I do wonder if you 'ave the slightest clue 'ow to walk in 'eels." Letting out a weak 'meep' Lilly was dragged away as her godfathers laughter echoed through the room.

* * *

Professor Minerva McGonagall liked to think of herself as a moderating force at Hogwarts, she was the buffer between the students and the consequences of their actions and she found sound enjoyment in guiding her wards, especially her lion cubs. That being said, the past few days had been tearing at her heart, the revelations of what Albus had done to one of her favorite students as an infant burned her deeply, and seeing said child being damaged thus tore at her.

The only real conciliation was that young Harry turned Lilly seemed to jump back from something as reprehensible as a blood ward and seal quite quickly and appeared to handle her transformation in a graceful manner. While Minerva hadn't quite appreciated the mayhem the young witch had caused with her announcement and subsequent disappearance it really was not her place to say or do anything. After all getting accepted as a family head was grounds for emancipation regardless, Lilly would have to weather the consequences of her actions as an adult and Minerva would only interfere if she were asked to by said witch.

On that note she had to admit to taking a bit of guilty pleasure in seeing Albus's reaction to the announcement and considered the upset rather worth it. The man was normally unflappable and planned out everything four steps in advance, Lilly taking control of a long dead house was not in the forecast by a long measure. So while Lilly was off doing who knows what Albus had a minor meltdown and tried to blast a hole through the girls loo in an attempt to find his wayward ward. At that point Minerva had decided it was prudent to be elsewhere and let that Umbridge creature observe the Headmaster's actions in full.

It was a...mean spirited act yes, but she couldn't help but enjoy the interaction between the two. Albus had already fallen several levels in her respect spectrum and Umbridge hadn't ever registered, so the tit for tat was amusing for herself. With that out of mind she sat down at the head table and began conversing with Filius as they observed the students enjoying dinner.

Suddenly her attention was drawn to the large hall doors creaking open on their own accord, a few moments later a lithe form walked into the room drawing all attention to herself. It was only through years of observation that the aged professor caught the brief look of panic in the young woman's eyes before she managed to school her features.

The hall went silent as the raven haired Lady in deep green dress robes approached the professors, the click of her heels resounding off the flagstones, her eyes now taking in her classmates reaction in open amusement. As Lilly Potter stood before the head table no one, not a soul in the entire castle could deny the presence and magic radiating off the young witch. To Minerva's personal amusement the only thing ruining the image of pure power was the wry smirk that kept trying to curl up her full lips, so like James this one...

"Deputy Headmistress McGonagall, if I may I'd like to discuss something with you?" A bit shocked at how...formal her cub was being she nodded slightly, grinning widely the teen bowed lightly in respect. "I just want you to know I am and always will be a Gryffindor, I accepted the title of Lady Slytherin as a means to spite Voldemort-" It should be noted that the young lady spat the name in disgust as most of the room winced and yelped out in terror. This was followed by an exasperated huff and eye roll from Lilly.

Taking a breath she continued, "-As well as to gain my emancipation so the Headmaster no longer feels he has the right to manipulate my life any further then he already has. I've always respected you and aside from one or two incidents first year I consider you to be that secretly fun strict aunt that tells you that you shouldn't be naughty, while winking and nodding her head to where the liquor is stashed."

Minerva had to admit, this revelation amused and heartened her greatly, the young lady wasn't lost in the slightest as Albus feared. She was just declaring her independence, and at this point the Professor couldn't blame her.

Continuing the raven haired beauty began pacing, "That being said, I very much hope you'll allow me to ditch divination and pick up ancient runes. Hermione has already agreed to tutor me on past years and I studied over the summer, outside of that I really have nothing to add."

Nodding McGonagall replied, "I would like to know about your change of heart on your elective subjects young lady, just so I can understand your reasoning."

Lilly nodded in turn, "Honestly? I took divination because it was an easy course, with that infernal blood seal holding off most of my power I was just too exhausted to care about anything and I wanted my free time for goofing off and...well-" She looked sheepish a moment before shrugging "-brooding. With it gone I'm free and invigorated, divination can't be taught and I have no idea why the class even exists, ancient runes though can help me defend myself against dark wizards. I find this to be an acceptable trade off."

Impressed, if slightly wary Minerva nodded, "Very well, but I insist you prove you have a grasp on the subject before you waste your new professor's time...also you very much need to get into uniform, while eye catching you are rather indecent at the moment."

The teenager before her blinked once before glancing down at the rather...excessive cleavage her robes exposed while muttering, "Riiiiight, I knew I forgot something." Turning to Filius she threw him a devil may care grin that was uncomfortably similar to that of her Godfather. "Sir any chance you can whip something up for the rest of dinner? I'll change out as soon as I get to my rooms."

Smiling indulgently the diminutive professor pulled his wand out and in a moment her dress robes shifted into a standard Hogwarts uniform. "Just use a simple 'finite' to revert them Miss Potter," nodding her thanks to the charms master she turned back to Minerva smiling brightly.

"Sorry about that Professor, anyway when Headmaster Dumbledore begins to throw around one of his 'for greater good' speeches do please send him my way. I am very much looking forward to telling that old man what I think about being manipulated from birth." With that she made her way to the Gryffindor tables and sat demurely beside Neville, sighing inwardly she dearly hoped that this was the extent of this semesters excitement.

As Lilly dug into her dinner she pointedly ignored the hall wide staring contest while pouring a glass of juice, taking a sip she pulled a face and came to a realization that this new body thought pumpkin juice was disgusting. Clicking her fingers there was a brief flash and she changed it into cider before gulping it down.

Glancing up at her now shocked friends she gave them a confused look, "Wh-what is it?"

It was Ginny who finally spoke up first, "Umm...Harry...no offense but everyone is still getting used to you being a girl-"

Someone down the table interrupted with, "A bloody hot girl!"

Rolling her eyes Ginny continued as if nothing was said, "-And well, that on top of the Slytherin thing... you just performed wandless silent magic." Shit, ok yeah that hadn't been planned.

Thinking quickly she quietly replied with, "Err...nargles did it?"

Sighing Ginny shook her head, "That doesn't work on me when Luna tries it and it certainly won't work with you, though its good to see you haven't changed much, terrible sense of humor still." Lilly shot her an affronted look that only earned her a smirk in return.

Ron then spoke up for the first time sounding irate, "Yeah but now she's the queen snake." Lilly grimaced at this, here we are, was wondering when this would happen. Before she could explain herself her second favorite twins spoke up, her most favorite twins obviously belonging to Hermione.

"Shove off it Ronnikins, she just pulled the ultimate prank show her respect!"

She thought that one was George, "Yeah she pulled one that would have made the Marauders jealous, she stole Slytherin!"

That one might be Fred, to hell with it, "Well Gred, Forge, I'm just living up to my Marauder heritage is all."

Pausing the twins smirked at the nicknames then looked puzzled, "Your heritage?" they echoed. It really was freaky how they did that, cool, but freaky.

"Indeed, Moony was one of my dads best friends, you know him as Professor Lupin. Padfoot is my roguish godfather, and Prongs was none other then my dad. The less said about Wormtail the better." The twins sat there in awe, suddenly realizing they met their idols and could do so again, she was promptly ignored as they began whispering to each other. Which really, was fine because at that point Hermione showed up and plopped in the empty space next to her.

"Heyya Hermione, where ya been?" Ginny cheerfully asked.

Blushing lightly she coughed into her fist and began preparing a plate, "I...kind of fell asleep studying in one of the library conference rooms."

Ron groaned at this which annoyed Lilly a bit, her girl demanded more respect than that damnit!

"Hermione really? Its Sunday for crying out loud enjoy it!"

Huh...so Lilly _hadn't_ made her skive any classes, good to know.

Hermione just shrugged as she dug into her meal, "Beats watching you play chess all day while rambling about the Chuddly Cannon's." He was about to retort when a familiar voice spoke from behind him.

Glancing up Lilly winced in annoyance when her suspicions were confirmed, "Well well Potter, looks like you were such a girl on the inside you had to just let it out huh?"

That...that was it? Really? That is what Draco Malfoy came up with in four days of planning? Hmm...perhaps his heart wasn't really in it and he was just saving face? Still, she had decided to embrace her inner prankster and enjoy her life so an eye for an eye and all that.

Smirking at him Lilly tilted her head demurely while placing a crooked finger underneath her chin, "I do believe you're just jealous because even though my tackles gone its still more impressive then yours." Not her best she would admit, but it got him red in the face and sputtering, and in the end isn't that all that matters?

"Listen you half-blood bitch when my-" she broke out into a laugh that grabbed the attention of most of her table mates and those from Ravenclaw, unbeknownst to her it was rather melodious and ear catching.

"Yes yes, 'When my father finds out I'm a whiny little prat that insulted the head of the Most Ancient and Noble house of Slytherin he'll likely shite his pants and demand I apologize'. News flash ferret, I'm now emancipated, powerful, and rich, you-" she was interrupted by hissing from her locket, she hissed in return then laughed again. "Thank you Salazar, and also beautiful, he may be biased though he's still pumped up from watching my memories of kicking Voldemort's arse six times-" another admonishing hiss, "Oh right seven."

Hermione was trying quite hard not to grin at the byplay, Lilly was enjoying herself far too much though the interesting shade of violet the bug-eyed boy was turning pleased her so she wouldn't say anything.

Lilly was preparing to fire another salvo when one of the most unpleasant sounds in the world interrupted her, "Hem-hem." Lilly groaned and turned around, staring at her was the squat visage of one Dolores Umbridge, her pasty pale skin and pink cardigan doing nothing to make her less repugnant. "Miss Potter, you have detention tonight since you missed your last one, and did I hear you spreading lies about You-Know-Who again?"

Lilly smiled winningly at her which tripped every alarm in her girlfriends head, "Hello Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge. My apologies but those detentions were assigned to Harry Potter, who, I am sure much to your delight, is now dead. I am his better looking replacement Lilly Potter, don't worry I know how gender mix ups can happen when you do not personally resemble something outside of the amphibian family. Because I'm a kind witch I'll give you a hint, girls have tits, blokes have cocks, try not to mix it up. Awwwwkward," she stretched the last word out for more then was necessary, Padfoot would be proud.

Utter silence reigned over the entire hall when the toad yelled, "It's Professor you little half-blood skag and if you-"

Lilly sighed as she stood up and much to Umbridge's consternation stared down at her, "Really? I sincerely doubt you have certification from an accredited university. What _are_ your qualifications for this job Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge? Is 'bigot' in the same bracket as 'lickspittle' or are they given their own categories now?"

Now flushed in rage the undersecretary screamed, "500 points from Gryffindor and detention for the next six months!"

Still smiling Lilly wagged a finger in front of Umbridge's nose reproachfully, "Tut tut tut, see in order for you to have that kind of power over an emancipated founder family heiress you'd have to run it past the other three families heads first. Seeing as they're not here and I do not personally recognize you as a professor, neither does Hogwarts. Magics funny like that sometimes." Quivering in rage which was just...unpleasant to watch on so many levels, the epic showdown was interrupted by none other then Headmaster Dumbledore.

Coughing lightly the ancient wizard turned to Lilly as he spoke, "Young lady, I do believe you have antagonized Madam Umbridge enough for one evening." Lilly pouted in a way that made Hermione want to drag her into a broom closet, a moment later the witch's green eyes began glowing in mirth which caused both adults to take a step back.

"Aw, I wanted to see if she'd try to arrest me before she started throwing hexes about, you're no fun Headmaster."

As...disappointed as he was with young Lilly's actions today the amusement was quite clear in his eyes, "Be that as it may you are quite aware it's poor form to extend a conflict over _unqualified_ foes for ones own amusement Miss Potter." The slight emphasis he had put on "unqualified" as he glanced at Umbridge was not missed. An unexpected zing from an unexpected source, still she'd take it if for no other reason then it causing a newly prominent vein to throb on Umbridge's forehead.

Lilly stopped pouting and instead grinned widely while lightly tilting her head towards Dumbledore. "This is true Headmaster, if you both would excuse me I'm rather peckish so I would like to return to my meal."

Dumbledore for his part realized he'd get no answers with Dolores standing there, so he offered to escort the still enraged woman to the head table leaving the young lions to stare at their new champion in awe. Sitting back down Lilly basked in the adulation being projected towards her, it was such a nice change from suspicion and loathing thank you very much.

Ignoring Malfoy and his goons who were still standing there dumbly she looked to Ron, "And that my friend is why being the queen snake isn't such a bad thing."

Nodding begrudgingly Ron finally smirked in turn, "So, what do you have planned for Snape?" The Cheshire cat grin that slowly crawled its way up her face had most of her friends lean back in fear.

Gred and Forge just returned it and as one said, "We want in."

Letting the smile slowly recede she shook her head tsking lightly, "All in due time boys, a proper revenge is like a fine wine, you have to choose the proper grapes, bottle and seal it in the proper manner, and let it age and mature until its bouquet is enticing enough that you must indulge deeply." Being goggled at by most of the table sans Hermione Lilly rolled her eyes and threw in, "Or as the Klingons say revenge is a dish best served cold,"

 _That_ got a groan from Dean who obviously wasn't a Trekker but Hermione had looked over quickly eyes sparkling, "You umm...you've watched Star Trek?"

Nodding Lilly finished chewing on her chicken and swallowed before replying, something Ron desperately needed to work on. "Yup, for a yank program it isn't half bad, cheesy as all get out but fun. The reruns and sometimes the movies play when the Dursleys went out for dinner so it was my guilty pleasure, why do you ask?"

Smirking she leaned in and whispered, "I uh...I wouldn't mind us trying things in those miniskirts and boots, you know...sometime later..." her friends were now truly intrigued as the up to that point unflappable Miss Potter turned bright crimson.

Shakily she stammered her reply, "O..o.k...I uh...sounds good."

Smiling self indulgently Hermione patted herself on the back, twice in one day she'd managed to make her girlfriend take a taste of her own medicine, a good day indeed. As the plates were cleared Lilly bade her leave and approached the Hufflepuff table, coughing to get her targets attention Susan Bones soon turned around to face Lilly.

"Ello Susan, I know we don't talk much but I was hoping I could ask you a favor?"

Considering how the emerald eyed witch had just torn apart Umbridge in front of the whole school the Bones heiress was willing to work with her, "If I can help I will within reason, what is it?"

Smiling cordially Lilly pulled out a letter and handed it off, "I'd like to meet with your Aunt sometime this week, its...important'ish but not the end of the world if she can't pencil me in. I'll owe you a favor for this if she accepts, deal?"

Feeling the power radiating off the witch before her Susan simply nodded, "I'll let her know tonight, but when I cash this in no complaints, ok?"

Snorting the Gryffindor waved it off, "I pay my debts, thanks gorgeous, talk to you later," and with that she sauntered towards her friends and left Susan holding the letter with a blank look on her face and a strange thought in her mind. 'Why in the hell did her calling me that make me happy?'

The next three days presented a couple interesting events, namely Lilly had taken up jogging to keep up her new figure, who knew she'd acquire vanity, and she had her interview with Luna. All told, she liked the strange blonde, and strange really was the word when it came to her, but still the wide eyed witch was harmless and a bit entertaining. The article was of course going to be controversial, be it about her insistence that Voldemort was really back, her instance that Fudge was covering up for his failures, her inadvertent sex change, or her becoming Lady Slytherin. All told, she couldn't be more pleased with the chaos she had unleashed. As she slowed down her latest lap down the mostly abandoned corridor her attention was grabbed by a familiar voice.

"Hey Lilly!" Turning to meet Susan's gaze Lilly smiled to her once as she wiped the sweat from her forehead and raised a finger to let her know that she needed to catch her breath.

Eventually she got out, "Heyya Susan, whats up?"

Handing over a paper wrapped parcel the redhead replied with, "Auntie says she'll meet up with you today, she even sent a two way portkey. Gotta get out of Hogwarts first though."

Nodding she grinned brilliantly towards her tentative friend, "Thanks alot Sue, I'll go get cleaned up and take care of this."

Blushing brightly and wondering what in the literal hell her emotions were doing to her Susan spun on her heel and left the hall with even more questions then before.

Lilly for her part was just glad the next step of her scheme to clear her Godfather could move on, with Luna's interview out of the way the only part left to this stage was meeting with the head of the DMLE. Running to the showers she hadn't noticed the dozen or so boys shooting her lustful gazes as she rushed by, in many ways she'd always mentally be a guy and would not realize what she was doing until much much later.

On that note, she could kill any of them with a thought, so "being careful" wasn't really an issue for her, but no one but her or Hermione knew this.

Cleaning up and telling Hermione where she was going Lilly slipped on one of her new dresses and with a bit of a struggle, and a helping hand from Lavender and Parvati, she was soon properly attired. Apparating into Hogsmeade Lilly activated the portkey and found herself falling on her butt directly in front of of Madam Bones.

Not wanting to lose face she grinned and said, "In my defense, this is my first portkey trip while having boobs." While it was completely tactless it was also so out there that the stern woman barked out a laugh and helped her up. Shaking her head a few times she stumbled to the guest chair mumbling about the insanity of wizarding travel methods and the complete lack of logic in their design. Madam Bones just arched a brow above her monocle while she waited for Lilly to ready herself.

"So Miss Potter how can I help you?" Lilly/Tom/Harry had all learned one thing about people like Amelia Bones, don't lie, don't waste their time, and make your point clearly known.

"Well, simply put, my Godfather, the notorious Sirius Black is completely innocent of his crimes, he was never given a trial, hell he was never even charged. He was arrested at the scene of the crime, had his wand snapped, and carted off to Azkaban signed off by Barty Crouch.

"He was _not_ my parents secret keeper, that traitor Death Eater Peter Pettigrew was. Dad and Sirius thought it would be the ultimate prank on the Dark tosser, unfortunately they had no idea their childhood friend turned on them." Looking startled the powerful woman demanded answers and Lilly recounted her entire third year and on.

After a time there was a brief silence and then Madam Bones finally managed to speak. "So he's perfectly willing to go under truth serum as long as we get it sworn that he'll get a fair trial?"

Nodding Lilly threw in, "No doubt, he's sick of hiding and to be honest with you I would like to have something resembling a family while I can still enjoy it. You help me I'll do everything in my power to help you when you need it."

Madam Bones smiled slightly then nodded, "You get him in front of the Wizengamot I'll give him a fair shake."

Grinning devilishly Lilly's eyes began glowing in anticipation. "Oh Madam Bones, do I have a bonus for you, what do you think of Dolores Umbridge and do you have moral issues about information gathered through, shall we say...less then conventional means?"

* * *

 **This one was nasty to rewrite, why I took so long, I know there are still alot of artefacts from the original release and I'm sure there's grammatical errors. I will do my best to fix them tomorrow, please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Going over old work is painful and** **embarrassing, that said, here is what I have.**

* * *

Lilly left her meeting with Madam Bones with a grin plastered on her face, dealing with the powerful war-witch was less of a negotiation and more akin to comparing notes with a kindred spirit. They'd talked well over an hour (interfering with several appointments) on the fine art of capturing dark wizards, and offing the really dangerous ones in a manner that wouldn't put anyone's knickers in a twist.

This was all of course just a bonus, she'd fully intended on befriending Amelia's niece to secure an alliance with another ancient and noble house, the fact that she actually liked the last scions of the Bones family simply made it easier. As she apparated back into Hogwarts she immediately began walking towards the dungeons for potions class, silently contemplating how she could solidify friendships with anyone in Slytherin she'd come to a simple conclusion.

Snape had to go.

This decision of course was in no way influenced by her personal feelings on the man or the fact that he had a creepy obsession with her dead mother who she now greatly resembled. It most certainly had nothing to do with the amount of times she'd caught him staring at her when he thought no one was looking, or the repeated attempts to enter her mind, nope, none of that factored in, total professional here.

Stopping to consider her options she checked the time and saw she had at least an hour till class began, nodding to herself she apparated to the sixth floor and peaked into Professor Bathsheda Babbling's office. Seeing the middle aged woman leafing through exams Lilly knocked on the door frame to get her attention.

"Excuse me professor, could I possibly have a word with you?" Glancing up the blonde witch grinned seeing her new second favorite student standing before her pensively. While Lilly had only taken one class so far she'd proven herself to be near NEWT level in skill with ancient runes with little direction needed.

This was of course due to two factors. The first being Tom _had_ been NEWT level, and the second being that she had Hermione to tutor her, and to think she had thought her girlfriend was intense with the studying before they were dating.

Now? Ugh...

"Of course Miss Potter, I'm just grading papers, its best to do it quickly you see, leave runic arrays laying around unattended and a little ambient magic can activate them, first time it happened I had a repelling ward knocking me away from my desk for a week!" Smiling at the friendly teacher Lilly sat down and crossed her legs in a lady like fashion, she kept having to remind herself about the little things like that.

Life as a woman was needlessly complicated in her opinion.

"Sounds fun, what happened the second time?" Snorting lightly the professor placed the papers aside while twirling a finger absently.

"Desk blew up, third time it somehow summoned a minor demon, that was irritating, anyway how can I help you?"

Hoping this worked Lilly placed her hands in her lap and began, "Well, as you know I'm now the High Lady of Slytherin, this has the added benefit of technically putting me in charge of the house here at school, and well...my house is supposed to be the home of guile, cunning, and ambition.

"All I ever see outside of handful of true Slytherins are a bunch of arrogant braggarts who use their families wealth to lord over everyone else, and I think we both know why this is allowed."

Leaning back the professor took a deep breath and sighed, "Yes I'm not happy at all at what hass happened to my old house, we always had issues with the blood purists but since most of the truly cunning students were muggle-born or half-bloods they were usually kept in check. Under Severus though..."

' _Oh this is better then I thought!_ ' Taking advantage of Babbling's musings Lilly launched her plan with gusto.

"Yes, he's an elitist, a terrible teacher, plays favorites with his house and abuses the house point system, and don't even get me started on his choice of prefects. So while there is a bit of conflict of interests since I obviously hold so much respect for the greasy git, I find that I'm left in a rather interesting position of being able to sack him as house head and appoint someone else."

Eyes now gleaming with interest Babbling leaned forward and loosed a knowing smile, "Oh? And who would you like to replace him?"

Grinning from ear to ear Lilly decided nothing coy would be needed here, "Well if you'd like the position I'd gladly offer it to you, seeing as you are a fair and unbiased witch I'm sure you could knock some common sense into your snakes, Merlin knows they need it."

Looking all too pleased she agreed and Lilly had her fill out the simple contract, once signed she put it away in her robes and began tapping the desk absentmindedly contemplating what the next phase of 'Operation Get the Git' would entail.

"I must say Severus will not be pleased, nor the Headmaster come to think, what will you do about it?"

Chuckling Lilly shrugged a bit, "Technically they can do nothing, Snape already sabotages my potions or at the very least lets the Slytherins get away with doing it and my opinion on the Headmaster has nose dived as of recently. Lets just say my little transformation was largely his fault and leave it at that."

Nodding Babbling picked up a quill and began twirling it between her fingers like a baton. Eventually she said, "I have to say while I didn't know you well at all beforehand you have certainly taken to the changes well. I would have thought this all would be more...traumatic for you."

Snorting Lilly rose from her seat as she rolled her eyes, "Honestly Professor this doesn't even make my 'Top Ten List of Shit That Doesn't Make Sense In The Wizarding World.' I'm so used to things just happening to me that I've learned to roll with it and not ask questions."

Excusing herself she made for the door when Babbling asked one last question, "What's number one on your list?"

Smirking Lilly looked over her shoulder and quipped, "How the bloody hell does the Ministry of Magic function with Fudge in charge?"

* * *

Hermione was absently leafing through her potions notes while steadfastly tuning out Ron's ongoing ramblings.

They invariably involved a combination of dislike for Malfoy, love of chess, quiditch, and food, or asking where Lilly was. It was unfair to think so poorly of one of her closest friends but he seriously needed to expand his interests; glancing at the clock she felt a pang of worry, Lilly was going to be late and things were already going to be awkward as is. This was the first potions class her girlfriend would be attending since the accident and well...Lilly _hadn't_ been the only one to notice the way Snape had been leering at her.

As if summoned by her thoughts the potions master swept into the room robes billowing, she often wondered if they were charmed to do that, it would certianly explain why they never got caught on anything. As class was just about to start Lilly entered the room and Hermione felt a moment of panic seeing she was still in her casual robes, the fact that the bespectacled witch was whistling and showing not a care in the world didn't help.

Snape sneered and said, "Glad you could join us Miss Potter, 10 points from Gryffindor for being out of uniform," crossing her arms below her bust and cocking her hips to one side Lilly stared at the man for a moment with one brow rising, _'Blast why does she have to be so hot'_ she thought blushing.

"Really Severus, considering the amount of times I've caught you staring at my tits I thought you wouldn't have much to complain about," that...that actually managed to leave the room in stunned silence, even Snape's eyes widened a bit at this declaration. Rolling her eyes Lilly snapped her fingers while hissing quietly and in a moment she was back in her school robes, "Well if you don't want the free show that's on you," taking her seat she pointedly ignored the classes stares.

"Twenty points for the cheek!"

Lilly pulled out her notes while letting out a loud nonecommittal, "Mmhmm, that's nice," and began reviewing the lesson plan. Snape actually looked a bit lost, he'd just been accused of ogling a student, casually insulted, then completely blown off when he attempted to escalate matters.

After a moment he waved his wand at the board and snarled, "You have two hours!" and then he sat at his desk brooding, honestly to Hermione it looked like he was pouting.

Glancing over to her girlfriend she finally asked, "And what, may I ask was that all about Miss Potter?"

Wincing Lilly adjusted her glasses then replied, "Ouch, I'm getting the Miss treatment already. owe Sirius a few galleons... and that dear Hermione was act two of phase one to 'Operation Get the Git', act three should be starting soon."

There was a light cough behind them and both girls looked back to see a pair of smirking Slytherin's, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis were what Lilly had deigned to refer to as "True Slytherin" and had actively talked to the two for the past few years. While Ron of course was hostile to the pair Hermione had nothing against them, they were smart, cunning, polite young witches and the word "mudblood" had never been uttered by either, so as far as she was concerned they were alright.

"Potter I have to say, the new you is very entertaining," Daphne drawled out laconically.

Tracey shook her head with a smirk still on her face, "Indeed, and thanks for calling him on that, you aren't the only girl who has caught him eyeing them. Making a public declaration like that certainly brought attention to the situation."

Lilly smiled in return then winked at the girls which sent a jealous pang through Hermione that she immediately attempted to snuff.

"I'm glad my indifference towards authority figures continues to delight, haven't talked to you two for awhile, hows things?"

Daphne shrugged, "Well enough I suppose, no ones tried to break into our room to "teach us a lesson" since we put that banishing ward up, last time it slammed a seventh year into the wall so hard you broke his collar bone."

Eyes narrowing dangerously and beginning to glow brightly Lilly coldly stated, "If anyone gives you more trouble let me know, my new position gives me an in to making life very, **_very_** difficult for those that cross me or my friends."

Both Slytherin's were slightly taken aback by that, Tracey then quickly asked, "So we're friends now Potter?"

It was a statement in the form of a question, Hermione looked at Lilly's face closely and could tell this was all calculated and planned for, ' _What is that girl up to?_ '

"I'd like to think so, we've been cordial with each other the past three years and with my direct connection to your school House I don't see what it could hurt."

The girls exchanged a glance then Daphne replied, "We're not opposed to it, and I can already say that I wouldn't mind our family houses eventually becoming formally allied, but the thing is all inter-house relations here at school are curtailed by the current head of house."

Grinning wickedly Lilly turned back to her cauldron and lightly sing songed, "Oh that's solving itseeeelf~, hehehehe..." the amused giggle scared Hermione beyond reason.

Finally speaking she asked, "What did you do Lilly?"

Smirking her girlfriend simply stated, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

After that she ignored all other questions but the smirk never left her face, about an hour later a large owl swept through the room dropping a scroll on Snape's desk. Hermione had been able to catch sight of the seal and it was from the Board of Governors, that couldn't be good.

Letting out a giggle that became a low throaty cackle Lilly turned back to Tracey and Daphne, "So do you two know Professor Babbling?"

Looking confused Daphne nodded, "Yes she's our Ancient Runes professor, shes a very fair and intelligent witch. She's even better with runes then the tutors my father hired, why do you ask?"

At that moment Snape's bellowed, "POTTER!" cut through the room.

Now openly cackling she winked at the pair again while turning back to her cauldron, "Because she's your new head of house, mischief managed!"

* * *

The resulting fallout of Lilly's vengeance was felt for several weeks following its implementation.

The first act Professor Babbling performed once taking over as head of house was to strip Draco and Pansy of their Prefect badges, apparently that doesn't happen often and was considered to be quite the little scandal. Lilly had no idea which Slytherin replaced Malfoy but Daphne Greengrass had received Pansy's badge which her blonde friend thanked her for, she felt it would look good on a resume later in life.

Gotta love that Slytherin focus on upward mobility.

The revamping of Slytherin House was extensive, Professor Babbling had no patience for bullying and gave no preferential treatment to her house, the end result was _a lot_ of detentions. Especially for Malfoy and his gang who were used to getting away with everything. All in all it was a vast improvement that was only hindered by Dumbledore pleading with Lilly to give Snape another chance, she told him she'd think about it, honestly it was the only way to make him go away.

As for her social networking, she'd started (under Hermione's insistence) a defense against the dark arts club to train their fellow students on how not to die if Death Eaters ever attacked and they didn't agree to wait around until Auror's showed up to arrest them.

She had mainly focused on Neville, Susan, Daphne, Tracey, and Luna as far as developing friendships go; they all had connections that would help her with her end goal and to be blunt they were quite fun to be around. That's not to say she didn't help the others along with their training, as far as she was concerned having access to Tom's rather extensive assortment of spells made it her duty to spread the knowledge.

The one major hiccup in their plans was that Umbridge tried to do her best to derail the club, she'd been subtle about it at first (riiiight) but eventually began straight out threatening Lilly. Which had been rather hilarious because the castle forcefully expelled the toad through the front doors for pointing a wand at a founder heir.

Once she'd regained consciousness Umbridge made quite a bit of noise about how Lilly had attacked a member of the ministry after being confronted about the Slytherin heir's attempt to build an army for Dumbledore. This was a personal affront, she wasn't doing anything to help Dumbledore, she was building an army for herself damnit!

So that's how she found herself currently being interviewed by Madam Bones in the Great Hall as she was flanked by two Aurors.

Winking at Kingsley and Tonks Lilly went over what happened, it should be noted that every witness in the room could tell that not only did she look unworried, she looked bored out of her skull while doing her best to remain respectful.

"Heyya Madam Bones, I'm assuming the Umbitch came up with some far out there cliam to have you try and arrest me?" The older woman snorted as she glanced at the wretch in question, head still wrapped in bandages from her impromptu flight and landing.

"Hello Lilly, and yes she spun a most interesting tale, apparently she received information that the defense club you're running is a front to train war-wizards for Dumbledore so he can use school children to try and topple the ministry? And that once confronted you physically attacked her and she barely survived the assault?"

The woman's tone was amused if anything, snorting Lilly raised her wand causing Umbridge to desperately grab for her own but she ignored the toad's actions not even bothering to consider her a threat.

"I Lillith Alice Potter so do swear on my magic that I am not building an army for Dumbledore and that the castles wards protected me from an attack by Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge and thus resulting in her gaining self earned injuries."

The flash from her wand was blindingly bright, as it faded Umbridge finally got her wand out. Looking the vile woman in the eyes she couldn't stop the smirk curling up her lips, "Please try it Doloras, I'm hoping you hit a chandelier on your way out this time." _  
_

Both Auror's and their boss turned to look at the enraged Undersecretary who eventually huffed, jammed her wand in her pocket and stalked off, ' _My powers to annoy have grown strong'_ she thought with dark amusement. Madam Bones muttered something to her subordinates who after a few moments nodded and left the hall, giving Lilly an appraising look the older woman shook her head slowly.

"You certainly know how to cause waves young lady, Susan's told me you've been helping her with her spell casting, I appreciate that considering the quality of education my golds paying for."

Lilly smiled at that her eyes glowing slightly brighter as she felt a sense of satisfaction, "Oh she's good, quite good in fact. She just needed a guiding hand, she can't get the Patronus charm down quite yet but she's close, might want to watch out Madam or she could be shooting for your job."

Amelia smiled at that pleased to hear the praise her niece had garnered, stepping in closer she whispered, "Fudge plans on using the next Wizengamot meeting to review your claim over the House of Slytherin, he's hoping to have your emancipation repealed and well...you can guess where it goes from there."

Grinning widely Lilly let out a short laugh, "Brilliant, it only took a month and a half of chaos to get ourselves into position. If we manage to discredit Umbridge in front of the court what's the likelihood that they'll actually attempt to prosecute me?"

Snorting the head of the DMLE replied dryly, "Considering what you've gathered on her from your...sweeps, I find it seriously unlikely. The meeting is in two weeks and since you inherited a seat with your title they'll be forced to invite you...but not to inform you of the itinerary."

Lilly could feel her excitement beginning to build, they were so close to destroying Umbridge and at the same time clearing Sirius, "Perfect. Well if that is all Madam Bones I need to meet up with my friends to go and build my dangerous army of school kids."

Giving her farewells Madam Bones followed her Aurors out of the hall leaving Lilly to ponder her next scheme. As she began to walk out of the hall herself she was intercepted by her lovely girlfriend who then sidled up matching the taller witch's pace.

"Well that went surprisingly well didn't it love?"

Snorting Hermione shook her head sending her bushy hair swaying, "Yes all things considered, I honestly thought baiting her with the DADA club would get her to make a move far sooner, its been over a month since you started training our classmates."

Stroking her chin thoughtfully Lilly considered this a moment, "'Mione, if you brought the DADA club up to Harry, how do you think he'd have reacted?"

That gave her girlfriend pause, her brown eyes lost focus for a moment then a sheepish grin popped onto her face, "More then likely he'd have refused at first, being as humble as he always was and his tendency to be moody when people relied on him when he thought he wasn't that special. It probably would have taken me a few months to needle him into accepting."

Sighing self deprecatingly Lilly agreed with the assessment, "Yeah my thoughts as well, instead I jumped on it because first off it was a brilliant idea from an equally brilliant witch." Taking a glance around she quickly pecked Hermione on the cheek causing the older girl to blush, "and second it fit in perfectly with my ongoing plans to push Umbridge over the edge. So my thinking is, maybe her plotting was centered around what _Harry_ would do, and not Lilly."

Silently considering this idea the couple found themselves at the classroom Professor Flitwick had offered them for the club, it appeared two members had showed up early and were already practicing their dueling rather then waiting on the club president, good.

Neville and Luna were busy throwing stunners at each other while staying mobile, that was the number one thing Lilly wanted to instill in her fellow students. Always stay moving since dark wizards are attention whores that make grandiose gestures while standing still, don't be that guy. Luna tried to dive out of the way but her feet caught somehow and she took the stunner to the chest sending her into a sprawling tumble.

Neville gasped and rushed to her, "Luna I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you!" The young man caste the counter spell and Luna groaned, walking up to the pair Hermione looked down at Luna's feet and worried her lip a bit.

"Luna are you ok?" The small blonde nodded as she sat up, eyes somewhat glazed after her fall.

Hermione then asked, "Luna, why do you have two right shoes on?"

The blonde shrugged a bit at that, "Oh, the other girls like to hide my things, they all think I'm odd so they find it amusing to play tricks on me."

Suddenly a few of Luna's idiosyncrasy's made a bit more sense, frowning Lilly pulled out her wand and took the shoe off Luna's left foot, casting a permanent transfiguration on it she handed it back to the now smiling Luna.

"Thank you Lilly, I like it when you do things like that, its almost like having a friend."

That...that struck a cord with all three of them, all had been outcasts in one form or another and all had difficulty making friends at first, Neville for his part surprised Lilly by taking the initiative.

"Luna we _are_ your friends, please don't say things like that ok?"

Her sad smile seemed a bit brittle now as she began to stand up, "People...people have said that before just to hurt me later on, are you going to hurt me as well?"

That...fuck...ok what the hell do you say to that?

Bumbling, stuttering, clumsy Neville Longbottom had the answer, pulling out his wand he invoked, "I Neville Longbottom swear on my magic that I have no ill intentions towards Luna Lovegood and only wish to be her friend."

Ok wow, talk about going above and beyond.

A brief flash of light and that was that, ' _Huh, bravo Neville.'_ Luna looked utterly shocked as her silver eyes widened perceptibly.

After a moment she gave Neville a warm smile, "I fear the wrackspurts may have gotten to you Neville, but thank you regardless."

"Yeah," he began, "Ongoing problem that."

Touching scene aside the rest of the defense club had begun filing in and Lilly had things to do, leaving the pair to their own devices.

Hermione still at her side she turned to the group and smiled, "All right folks, you've all but mastered stunners, today though we're going for maiming rather then incapacitating, now who can tell me the downfalls to using a stupefy on a group of dark wizards?"

Looking a bit nervous at the mention of maiming the group shifted a bit before Ginny spoke up, "If there's a group of them they can just rennervate their allies, unless you can take them all out at once stunning would be pointless."

Grinning Lilly nodded enthusiastically, "Very good!" Now, who can give me the pros and cons of the blasting curse?"

Susan Bones stepped forward for this one, "Well, as far as pros go it can cause alot of damage to a wide area and most defiantly make sure your enemies aren't going anywhere soon, the cons are collateral damage as well as innocents being caught in the blast."

Giving the redhead a winning smile Lilly chirped, "Ten points to Hufflepuff! Now this is the point of this lesson, Confringo is a great spell because lets be perfectly honest here, who doesn't like blowing shit up? But it has limitations, just like all the nastier curses out there, trust me you do not want to see what an over charged bone-breaker does to the human body, there's a reason they're called curses after all.

"Auror's are allowed to use what the Ministry has decided to collectively call the 'Dark Arts but frown on your average witch or wizard using them, and that's why for every Death Eater captured or on the rare occasion killed four to five light wizards fell. Those who stayed true to the light but used any means necessary to win were called 'Gray Wizards' and were universally feared by the Death Eaters and I have under good authority were utterly despised by Voldemort."

She waited for the collective flinch from her gathered friends and was pleased to see progress there, moving on she continued, "My mum and dad were amongst some of the most notorious Gray Wizards out there, they and the Longbottoms cut a swath through the Dark Lord's forces by not following the rules. Guns, explosives, nastier dark curses and muggle traps were the name of the game."

Smirking at the group she spun on a tip toe and yelled, " _Confringo!"_ as she whipped her wand at the target Professor Flitwick had set up at the end of the room, the mannequin blew apart in a fiery ball of destruction that was contained by several shield charms.

Turning back to the stunned crowd she asked, "Now, would you say a Dark Wizard would be less inclined to mess with you if he was worried _that_ was heading his way rather then a stunner?"

Ron of all people actually managed to ask a very good question, she really needed to remember to be nicer to him, ah well.

"Wouldn't using these curses make us as bad as Dark Wizards?"

Nodding Lilly began twirling her wand absently as she started pacing back and forth, "There's a danger yes, but my big three are the blasting, cutting, and bonebreaker curses mixed with our standard charms, if I hear any of you using the disemboweling or necrosis curses I'll personally turn you in to the Auror's myself. Curses like that are meant to prolong the suffering of the victim and that's not what we're after, we aren't sadists we're pragmatists, kill the bad guys as fast and painlessly as possible and go home, that's the creed of the Gray Wizard."

]Lee Jordan then piped in with, "What about the Unforgivables?"

Wincing while remembering her own experiences and use of the curses she shook her head, "Having experienced them all let me explain something. The Cruciatus curse is next to useless in combat unless you're just trying to trip someone up long enough to catch them, its a torture tool and nothing more. So it serves no purpose to those of us who don't get our yayas from hurting other people."

She received a solemn nod from Neville as she finished with this, "Now the Imperius could serve a purpose I suppose, if you found a Death Eater safe house you could always Imperio the lookout to carry a bomb inside to his mates and take the lot of them out. But that is like Susan pointed out before, collateral damage and risky to innocents."

The group was looking about a bit uneasy with how casually flippant she had sounded but they reserved their judgement, finally she met the gaze of all 27 club members before taking her glasses off and rubbing her eyes.

Sighing she finally continued, "The killing curse ...Avada Kedavra..., its unique, hits a guaranteed kill, unblockable, and when it hits a body no damage is done to the victim, they just...fall..."

Images of Cedric and the Ponce rolled through her mind a moment before she got back on track, "Oddly enough, when the curse hits inanimate objects it explodes like a bomb, I honestly have no idea why. It is in my personal opinion that the killing curse is useless to Gray Wizards, and even more so those who wish to stay in the light, you have to focus your hatred and use it as an extension of your will with only one desire, to kill your target.

"It uses a ridiculous amount of your magic core to fire off and if you lose focus at all it's more likely to blow your wand up then anything else...no...the Unforgivables are not part of our arsenal..."

Trailing off she failed to notice the worried stares of her friends as she turned around and repaired the blown apart dummy with a few waves of her wand, "Everyone take a turn trying to blow the dummy up, don't worry about damaging anything Professor Flitwick has it covered."

With that she leaned against the wall and began lightly tossing a few rings in her hand, lost in silent contemplation she hadn't noticed Hermione standing beside her until she spoke.

"So, did you want to talk about what's on your mind?"

Starting slightly Lilly blinked rapidly and glanced over to her girlfriend giving her a warm smile, "Oh hey brown eyes, umm..."

Grasping the rings into a tight fist she shook her head in annoyance, "I've got plans within plans and I'm just trying to keep it all straight while at the same time trying to teach our friends how to survive what is to come. All the while our ineffective government kicks and screams the entire way trying to stop me, its...getting trying."

Hermione said nothing at first then glanced at Lilly's clenched fist, "What's with the rings?"

Smiling devilishly her emerald eyes began glowing warmly for the first time since the lecture started.

"Oh, these are a rather nasty contingency plan if I'm denied what I want, its...not my first choice but I'm willing to make the sacrifice to do what needs to be done."

Now very curious Hermione tried to get a better answer then that, Lilly just shook her head sending her hair waving, "Sorry hon, suffice it to say there's an off chance that the Wizengamot may take advantage of the fact that I'm a woman now to whip out an archaic law or two, this is my shield, less said the better."

Now pouting Hermione observed the twins blowing up most of the far end of the room, their cackling brought a smile to both witches lips, never a dull moment with those two, eventually Ginny, Susan, Daphne and Tracey all pulled off quick powerful casts but the show stopper had to be Neville. Hermione thought the fireball from hell might have something to do with the small blonde girl holding onto Neville's free hand, Lilly had a wry grin on her face as she met Hermione's eyes.

"Something tells me we should start placing bets on those two with the twins, I give it...Halloween, no later then Christmas," Hermione scoffed at that,

"No thank you, betting against you is never a good idea," conceding the point they remained silent until the hour was up, congratulating everyone on a job well done she dismissed the group and waited till the room fully cleared before cleaning up the mess. After everything was put back in its place the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower, Hermione smiled as a rather naughty idea came to mind and as they passed a broom closet she came to a stop, pushing the door open Lilly let out a yelp as she was pulled inside by the waist.

Hermione closed the door behind her and cast locking and silence charms on it, pushing the now confused Lilly to the wall she kissed her deeply, Lilly's eyes suddenly glowed bright enough to light the closet in emerald sunshine as she embraced her girlfriend.

Argus Filch was not a nice man by anyone's standards, and while curfew hadn't been called quite yet he was still on the prowl to ruin one of these little brats day, following Mrs. Norris through the halls the cats ears suddenly perked up as she ran down the hall to face a locked broom closet, grinning maliciously Filch was about to slam the door open when he noticed the occasional green glow through the cracks. Eyes widening in fear he scooped up his cat and backpeddled quickly, only one thing he knew cast an emerald light like that and the last time he'd tried to give her detention she'd apparated him into the Black lake, he was content to go find easier prey then mess with the Lady of Slytherin a second time.

* * *

A week later found Halloween came and went, and Lilly had caused a bit of an upset by excusing herself from the position of Seeker on the Quiditch team with the reasoning she needed to focus on her academics. Most of the Gryffindor's were mollified though when she offered to coach her replacement Ginny Weasley.

When finally cornered by the four redheads and asked the real reason she looked sheepishly between them, "See here's the thing guys, umm, I've been practicing and well...while I still love flying the game just doesn't hold my attention anymore. So I figured I'd give Ginny a chance to play with all three of you for a season, I'm not going to lie half the team being Weasleys amuses me so yeah..."

The twins of course grinned at this and Ginny gave her an appreciating smile, Ron of course felt abandoned, that wasn't getting tiring at all.

Entering the Great Hall Lilly plopped down next to a distracted Hermione and began digging into some eggs when Neville handed her a newspaper with a despondent look on his face, glancing at the headline she froze solid, it read " _Dementors Abandon Azkaban, Death Eaters Escape!"_ Looking at her friends wide eyed she dropped the paper and held her head in both hands, "Bollocks..." Finishing breakfast she and Hermione were on there way to Runes when they saw Filch hanging up a plaque, approaching it Hermione gasped after a moment of reading while Lilly glared at the offending message.

 ** _' Educational Decree Number 23-Dolores Jane Umbridge has been appointed to the post of Hogwarts High_ Inquisitor'**

Sighing while guiding Hermione away Lilly came to a decision, ' _Oh well, nothing for it, I guess she's going to have to be dealt with sooner then anticipated, Merlin I hate having to waste contingency plans.'_

* * *

 **Do you have any idea how mindbogglingly boring it is to edit work you did when you were nothing more then a piss poor amature? It sucks. So much. I think we're two chapters out from the new horizon so enjoy yourselves and please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**The thing about dumping hours of your limited free time into editing old work? You surely missed something.**

 **Please review**

* * *

There were just some things that Lilly Potter could not explain about being a woman which really, was to be expected. She was operating under a handicap of spending fifteen years as a bloke and many of the intricacies had to be explained to her, usually accompanied by the typically confusing reasoning behind them. So it really didn't strike her as odd that she had no idea why she had just caught three sixth year boys in her bedchambers going through her things, and it certainly didn't surprise her that she had no idea why they were trying to make off with her knickers.

That being said, not knowing the whys of a situation involving a ladies undergarments being made off with by three young men who'd taken extreme steps to bypass dozens of wards wasn't really relevant. She was well aware it probably had to do with something she was unfamiliar with which on average meant sex and/or one of its many fetishes. So after stunning the would be thieves she vanished their clothing, stuck a pair of Lavender's knickers on each of their heads and had Dobby apparate them to be dropped in the Great Hall at dinner time, disproportionate retribution at its finest.

Whistling cheerfully as she entered the common room she saw Neville talking quietly with the twins, the three boys relaxing as they saw her approach and they all looked a bit sheepish.

Gred or Forge coughed lightly then asked, "So was the information accurate?"

Nodding appreciatively Lilly gave the trio a winning smile, "Indeed it was! Thank you gents, while I have no desire whatsoever to know what they wanted my unmentionables for, my retribution during dinner will surely be entertaining at the very least."

Her mirthless chuckle and gleaming eyes made them fear for the misguided boys in her clutches but Lilly was one of theirs so she was protected under their aegis and would not be judged for her actions.

After all, pranking each other was all well and good but no one else was allowed to mess with family.

Deciding to end the conversation before they were drawn too far into Lilly's web of vengeance Neville motioned for the door portal, "Well all right then, shall we go meet Hermione for Herbology? Class starts in twenty minutes after all?"

She followed Neville while waving absently to the twins pouting a bit, "She didn't wait for us? Not like her at all."

Neville shrugged lightly at that, "Said she wanted to mail a letter to her parents before class, notice you two have been spending a lot of time together lately."

Grinning coyly she made eye contact with Neville while raising her brows up and down, "And I've noticed you and Miss Lovegood have been nigh inseparable for the past week, is something going on there?"

Surprising her by laughing rather then blushing he gave her a brief smirk, "I'm prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best."

Chortling a bit she fist bumped him, "Atta boy Nev knew you had it in you!"

Before he could respond they heard the all too familiar sound of a ferret chattering at his betters, rounding the corner Malfoy and his gang had formed a rough semi-circle around Hermione who looked completely disinterested in the taunts being thrown her way.

Hell Lilly wasn't even worried, the spells she'd taught Hermione would put most aurors on the ropes much less Draco. The git in question continued his tirade as the two Gryffindor's came to a stop behind him, looking about Lillith noted with some satisfaction that none of the picture frames were currently inhabited by their usual occupants.

Pleased Dumbles wouldn't be hearing about this one Lilly winked at Hermione over Draco's shoulder and decided to see how this played out.

"So Granger we always knew you had a thing for Potter, but now what are you going to do, hope she's a clam diver now?" Well, to be fair however crude it may be he wasn't far off the mark, but far be it from Lilly to inform him of it.

Hermione just shook her head with a knowing smirk on her lips while drawling out, "Malfoy if I didn't know better I'd say you were hoping she'd give you a roll, although that would mean you would have been with Harry Potter which in a very messed up science fiction manner would make you a poof. Altogether though, combined with your previous history, wouldn't be all that surprising."

Resisting the urge to snort Neville covered his mouth while Lilly made a disgusted face at the thought of Malfoy touching her, ick.

Malfoy seethed as he took a step towards Hermione, voice grating out, "When my father hear's about this insult you filthy mudblood whore-" Lilly walked up and grabbed his shoulder spinning him around, he had an indigent sneer on his face right up to the point where he met her glowing eyes and wide grin.

"'Ello lover boy," with a flick of her finger Hermione and Neville downed his crew with several silent stunners, before Draco knew what happened he was the last man standing. Casting silent bodybinder, levitation and silence charms on the Malfoy heir she put a finger under his chin and she pulled the terrified youth to the point that their noses nearly touched.

Never losing the grin Lilly cooed, "Oh you just had to call my Hermione such a naughty word, that's right, _mine,_ so next time you decide it would be a good idea to act out on your inbred bigotry well," spreading her free hand next to his head she crooned, " _Sacrificet Mihi Fiendfyre."_ Even Neville and Harmione backed off as the demonic serpent of fire erupted in Lilly's palm, hissing at the creature she had summoned the unholy fire twirled around her hand leaving it unburned despite the obvious heat.

Draco looked like he was about to loose control of his bladder, with a thin smile Lilly whispered, "This is your final warning, mess with me if you want but you leave my girl out of this, I trust we have an understanding, yes?"

Crushing the fiery demon in her palm thus banishing it back to whence it came she released the charms on Draco and stepped over his sobbing form. Sighing in annoyance she hooked her arms through both her friends while shaking her head leading them forward, "And now we're going to be late for class, ugh."

As they marched away Hermione found her voice, "Dear, was that actually fiendfyre?"

Grinning then letting out far too feminine of a giggle Lilly frowned and tried to reign in the girly before responding, "Nope, illusion charm, I _can_ summon fiendfyre if I wanted to and could probably control it, but why risk hurting anyone when all I wanted to do was put the fear of god in the jumped up tosser?"

Both her friends relaxed at that and the rest of the day passed without incident, after a rather spirited snog session with Hermione Lilly wandered into her dorm and fell face first onto her bed, _'Two more days and you're free Sirius,_ ' she thought with a tired smile as sleep stole over her.

* * *

Bellatrix Lestrange was a slightly disillusioned witch at the moment, sure she'd done some nasty things in the last war, tortured, killed, maimed so on and so forth but that was what she was raised to do. Really, as a scion of the Black family she was obligated to follow the dark arts and listen to her assigned husbands demands and to enjoy it, so she had tried and succeeded to a point. The problem was, she despised Rodolphos with a passion, he and his brother were pure-bloods and that was their only saving grace, she was fairly certain neither man had a cognizant thought outside of "Shag, get pissed, and kill."

Sighing as she prowled the dilapidated relic known as the Riddle Mansion that she was forced to reside in Bellatrix did her best not to make a noise lest she disturb her chosen master, or rather the shadow of the man she use to consider her master. Tom Riddle had been a gorgeous man, chisel jawed, brilliant eyes, perfectly coiffed hair and a bum to die for, as the war progressed he became less...human, and near the end he had been more dark creature than man.

Truthfully at that point she'd already been in too deep to turn back, she was still being the dutiful wife following her husbands lead while at the same time doing the masters bidding to the best of her ability. She had put her all into her efforts in the hopes of being recognized as an equal and in doing so she was the first the Dark Lord attempted to rescue.

So when she had been freed from Azkaban by this mentally unstable ...mutated...thing... that claimed to be the Dark Lord Bellatrix began reconsidering her choices, heartfully and completely. The Blacks were near extinct, Bellatrix herself was despised by the magical world over and the pure-bloods had no leadership outside of this snake/girl/wizard constantly muttering about a prophecy and "Goddamn gray wizards". Contemplating her future and trying her best to avoid the Dark Lord's random minutes long cruciatus sessions Bellatrix began considering other options and new masters.

Willing herself to ignore Wormtails screams Bellatrix made for a set of double doors and found herself on an open balcony above a frost kissed garden, this wasn't what she wanted from her life, not in the slightest.

Not anymore.

"Time to find a new path..." as Lord Voldemort's former right hand woman plotted her escape, Peter Pettigrew screamed in agony as he bled from his eyes wishing he had never even considered getting involved with the Dark Lord, much less resurrecting him.

* * *

If Lilly were to pick one emotion to describe her current mood it would have to absolutely livid, it was only a day before the Wizenmagot meeting and she'd been on her way to meet up with her lovely girlfriend to finalize their plans when she'd been bashed in the skull by a bludger bat. Normally that wouldn't be enough to take her, but seeing as how she wasn't expecting it in the slightest well...she'd admit it, she'd been caught completely off guard.

This on principle alone pissed her off beyond words, she was getting sloppy, her current iteration would never have survived the Dursleys so she resolved that it was time to get back to training.

Until then though...

Feeling as if throwing up was probably as good an option as any Lillith began tentatively evaluating several points, namely her arms and legs were tied to a chair.

Not good.

Her mouth was also gagged which obviously prevented her from speaking and if she had been a normal fifth year this all would probably concern her, as it stood it though it was really only a minor annoyance. Her glasses had obviously been destroyed when she'd been bitch smacked by a bat so her vision would likely be blurry if she hadn't been blindfolded, but the voices...oh the voices...

"Is she alive?" Malfoy, _'Oh Draco the things I'm going to do to you with that bat...'_

Then the most damning sound of all, "Hem-Hem, remove her gag, we need to question her now." Oh-ho-ho, now it's on, as the blindfold was removed she saw the bleary and ever lovely High Inquisitor of Hogwarts in all her disgusting pink cardigan wrapped glory. Interestingly enough Draco didn't seem too keen on this turn of events, regardless the Umbitch continued to examine her while the blonde prat spoke up again.

"Look, is it really necessary to tie her down like this?"

Umbridge and his own lackeys turned to stare at him before the toad responded, "She must be taught a proper lesson young Malfoy, you know this is how we handle problems as pure-bloods, we must teach our inferiors the errors of their ways."

The toad turned back to Lilly as the gag was removed, spitting up a disgusting wad of coagulated phlegm Lilly decided to turn the fear factor up to eleven and faced her captor with a grin.

"I'm going to spoon feed you the bloody cruciatus for hours before I'm done with you bitch."

The look of shock that crossed Umbridge's face was a reward in on itself, she expected a broken begging girl, not one already plotting vengeance. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Lillith was ready to live up to her name sake.

Glaring at Crabbe and Goyle as her eyes began glowing Lilly didn't restrain the crooked grin that stole its way across her bloodied lips, 'Always easy to intimidate the weak minded' she thought grimly. "I'm going to hurt you all, slowly and painfully, I will sunder your flesh, burn your bones, and curse your names, count on it."

Glancing away from the two now uneasy boys she glared at Umbridge her smoldering gaze showing nothing but complete contempt.

Coughing lightly in a mockery of the toads manner she asked, "Well, I believe I'm here for a reason, what do you want Ministry Appointed Instructor Umbridge? I'm assuming questioning over something asinine like how am I plotting to help Dumbledore overthrow Fudge or the like? Can we get this over with I'm missing a study session right now and I'd rather your little power trip not interfere with my OWL's anymore then it already has."

Trying to regain lost ground Umbridge scowled and lowered herself uncomfortably close to Lilly's bloodied face, "Its High Inquisitor to you and you will tell me everything I want to know, you have no control over this," before Lilly could react the Umbitch grabbed her jaw and forced it open dumping something down her throat.

Gagging and trying not swallow Umbridge smashed her palm against the teens nose and mouth preventing her from breathing, eventually reflex kicked in and she swallowed the mystery substance. As an unnatural calm began spreading across her body she stopped resisting and gave in to the potions magics, all the whilst screaming trapped in her own mind.

Looking far too pleased Umbridge asked, "What is your name?"

Trying to resist and failing Lilly emotionlessly stated, "I was born Harry James Potter, as of recently I am now known as Lillith Alice Potter."

Twisting her disgusting worm like lips into a sadistic grin Umbridge then continued, "What is your position in Dumbledore's inner circle?"

It must be said, that she was actually rather proud of herself for being snarky even under truth serum, "I'm not _anything_ to Dumbledore's inner circle you single minded dimwit. I was nothing more then a piece in his game and I decided I was no longer going to allow anyone to use me, _especially_ Dumbledore."

That seemed to throw her for a loop, Draco was now looking at Lillith quizzically as if he couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying; for her part Lilly was simply trying to bring her mental barriers up against this vile potion.

"What are you plotting at then, why lie about You-Know-Who being back, why start a defense club, why are you resisting the ministry?!"

Still under sway of the veritaserum but doing her best to resist she ground out, "I...I'm...I...grrr...I'm sorry Madam Umbridge...I mustn't tell lies." Finally locking her mind down she shrugged off the potion and sent a wave of uncontrolled magic through her body splintering her bonds and the chair she sat in while sending everyone flying.

Eyes burning in their emerald fury she summoned her wand from Umbridge's desk and cast _Oblivates_ on Crabbe and Goyle, meeting Draco's gaze evenly she briefly entered his mind and was mildly shocked to see that he honestly thought this was all a bad idea.

Huh, only reason he went through with it was Umbridge promised leniency on his father for being "misguided" on his pursuit of Pure-Blood supremacy despite the fact he was scared shitless of Lilly. Feeling an iota of begrudging respect for trying to protect his family she struck him with a paralyzing charm while gently laying him to rest on the floor.

Kneeling down beside him she glared into his eyes, "Draco, today's your lucky day, I did after all give you free reign to come after me so for now, you get to be the Boy-Who-Lived. Now watch what happens when I stop being nice."

Turning his head so he could watch the proceedings she stood and stretched lithely while glancing over at the downed toad with a toothy grin. Prowling towards Umbridge as the rotund woman attempted to stand Lilly sent one pointed toe boot strait into the bitch's gut causing her to double over in pain.

Grinning in a manner that would have even Hermione concerned she drawled out, "My my my, I have to say I'm almost impressed you figured out that the castle only protects me from magical threats, I'm not so impressed that you hadn't realized I _myself_ was a threat, and according to Draco over there he even warned you, pity you're as slow as you are incompetent."

As Umbridge looked up at the wrathful teen her hate overrode her pain, "You foul half-blood whore, I'll have you sent to Azkaban for this, I'll-"

Kicking the would be professor again, and a third time for good measure Lilly began cackling manically, "You have no power! Don't you get that?! Your power was something handed to you by a politician! When you're faced with someone who does not respect your authority you have NOTHING! You're going to serve one final purpose at least, I had been putting this off due to being painfully aware of the hypocrisy but as of now this move is the only way to muzzle a mad dog such as yourself," voice turning mocking she pointed her wand at the downed undersecretary, "Now High Inquisitor Umbridge, _IMPERIO!_ "

After giving Umbridge her orders Lilly stunned then apparated Draco and his minions into the girls lavatory near the Slytherin common rooms, she obliviated the details but made Draco keep the feelings that had him so terrified of her; honestly at this point it was be a real waste to erase that kind of progress.

After reentering Umbridge's office she cast a few spells to clean up the room then with a bit more effort then she'd like to admit levitated the vacant eyed toad onto her chair. Hopefully the spell held till tomorrow night, Lilly had never actually had a chance to cast the Imperius before so it was a work in progress at best.

That done Lilly slowly made her way up to the medical wing, casting a disillusion charm on herself she avoided Poppy as she raided the potions stock, downing everything necessary to heal herself, (plus pocketing a few extra pepper-up's just in case) she made her way to her final stop.

Approaching the Great Hall she conjured a mirror and made sure she'd managed to clean all the blood from her face and clothes, satisfied for the time being she entered the hall and headed towards her favorite pair of professors at the high table.

Flitwick and McGonagall looked up from their conversation as Lilly stood before them grinning a bit sheepishly.

Smiling lightly Flitwick asked, "Yes Miss Potter?"

Scratching the back of her head she replied with, "Err, it appears I was pranked while I was napping and someone made off with my glasses, I could conjure my own replacement pair but I have next to no idea how to detect my prescription sooo..."

Both professors gave her warm smiles at that, Flitwick did a quick scan of her eyes and McGonagall deftly transfigured a spoon into a rather fetching pair of cateye glasses.

Not able to suppress the annoying female emotion she let out a mild squeak, "Cute! Thanks professors!"

Both smiled and nodded to their favored student as she slipped on the new eyewear and made for her girlfriend who was in deep conversation with Neville, Luna, and Daphne, 'A claw, and a snake hanging out with the lions, who would have thought.'

Sliding in next to the lovely Miss Granger Lilly began grabbing platters with gusto, that was the trade off for fast healing potions, you were bloody ravenous for hours afterwords and there was little to do for it. Hermione discreetly grabbed her left hand under the table as Daphne gave her a once over before speaking.

"You look a bit rumpled Potter, what happened?" Snorting and deciding that these four would make a rather decent inner circle (she'd have to pull Susan Bones in at some point, politicking and all) Lilly simply shook her head in annoyance.

"Umbridge cajoled Malfoy and his bookends to beat my skull in with a bludger bat and drag me to her office, she was trying to dose me with truth serum when Draco had a change of heart and stunned the bitch when he realized what she was up to. In the immortal words of sailors across the world, I could really use a drink."

Her friends stared at her wide-eyed while Hermione practically crushed her hand, brown met emerald as she soothed her better half, "Don't worry I'm fine, I'm swimming in potions at the moment and I jammed all three boys into a girls toilet stall, I'm hoping a first year finds them."

Looking a bit more reassured they broke eye contact to see Luna shaking her head sending her radish earrings swaying, "Daddy's been reporting on the Ministries abuse of power for years, its only getting worse it seems..."

Daphne actually looked appalled, "That plebeian dared to strike the heir to two Ancient and Noble houses? Seriously? What did she hope to gain?"

Snorting Lilly dug into her steak and kidney pie and swallowed a bite before replying, "She was rambling about Pure-Blood supremacy the entire time, honestly Daph I think the woman is just a small minded bigot that can't see past her own nose. Hell my mom's line can be traced back to a Gryffindor squib for crying out loud. I hold no illusions that blood purity means anything but I have more connections to the ancient houses then that self righteous bitch could ever hope for..."

That actually seemed to grab Neville and Hermione's attention, looking away from Luna for the first time since Lilly had sat down he asked, "Wait you're a descendant of Gryffindor?"

Smirking as she dug back into her pie Lilly nodded as she licked the gravy from her fork, "You and me both Nev, Hermione here is actually a descendant of a Ravenclaw squib as well, all our genealogies are available at the library, its just no one looks into them. Lessee, I'm fifth cousins with Daphne here, third cousins with you Nev, second cousins with Susan Bones, and I _think_ I'm something like fifth cousin twice removed with the Weaselys. Our society has some serious inbreeding problems."

Hermione looked at her in wide eyed shock, "I'm...I'm descended from Ravenclaw?!"

Staring at her girlfriend incredulously Lilly nodded, "Brown eyes I _still_ have no idea how the hell you ended up in Gryffindor, but yes, I got bored a couple weeks ago and looked up everyone I considered friends, its not like its difficult most of its magically recorded without a human interacting with it."

She neglected to mention that it was in the restricted section which she had been abusing her heir status like there was no tomorrow to raid, ah well details, "Hmm...you know if we find an artefact of Ravenclaw or Gryffindor you two could probably use them to channel a claim for the house titles, that'd be hilarious honestly, what with having three students in the same year claiming founders titles..."

The table grew silent before Daphne let out a sharp laugh, "Well, I do believe we now have a project for the holidays!"

Chuckling in agreement the friends soon finished their meals and stood to go their separate ways when there was the sharp _***crack***_ of a apparation, all turned to the head table as three boys fell to the floor. After a moment they began stirring and it became very clear that the only stitch of clothing on any of them was a pink pair knickers on their heads.

Coughing in false innocence Lilly began walking away shaking her head, "Right, shoulda clarified to Dobby that I meant dinner yesterday, ah well live and learn."

Leaving her befuddled friends behind Lilly's laughter followed her out of the room.

* * *

Sirius Black was a nervous wreck as he paced back and forth before the fireplace, he had built up his defense to the greatest extent of his power and lined up all the documentation for his Goddaughter's near endless contingency plans in hopes to outwit the Wizengamot.

Lilly for her part didn't seem overly concerned at all, if anything she looked mildly amused as he prowled about, eventually she broke out laughing and he cocked his head in confusion, "Whats so funny pup?"

Eventually getting control of herself she lifted her glasses to wipe her eyes before answering, "You're so Padfoot! Your mannerisms are so like an irritated dog that I can't help but laugh at it! I keep expecting you to cock an ear in confusion when you hear a loud noise, I'm sorry but-" as he let out an annoyed growl she fell to the ground laughing even harder.

Eventually he cracked a grin then began laughing as well, which was soon followed with him casting a few tickling charms at the raven haired teen who eventually admitted defeat to the assault. Standing up while still giggling she gave her Godfather a chagrined smile before wrapping her arms around him in a bone crushing hug.

Sighing Lilly stayed that way for a moment before she muttered, "Whatever happens Sirius we're family, you and Hermione are all I have, maybe Moony too if we can pry him away from Dumbles...I may do things today that you'll look down on but I swear we'll win...we have to..."

Returning the hug Sirius smiled down at his goddaughter while shaking his head, "No worries pup, your plan is sneaky as they come, we can do this, _now_ are you ready to make fools of politicians and ladder climbers alike?"

Returning the wide grin she winked up at Sirius, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

* * *

Bellatrix was ready to bolt the moment she was approached by the drawn out looking Lucius Malfoy, he handed her a flask and a bag before he whispered, "The Dark Lord wishes you to attend this Wizengamot meeting in my stead, the polyjuice potion in the flask should last you for a few hours, and try not to mess up my clothes, the Master will expect a report immediately afterwards."

Cocking her head she met the ashen faced blondes tired gaze, "Why would the Dark Lord bother with something so convoluted?"

Grimacing Lucius closed his eyes and looked like he was counting down trying to stay calm, "Because he's sending me on some ridiculously dangerous errand to recover an artefact from some seaside cave but he also wants eyes on the ground for the Potter brats first meeting. There is apparently some attempt at removing her title involved and the Dark Lord wants to know all the details, now if you please?"

Nodding in a resigned fashion Bellatrix took the items and entered a washroom, stripping down naked she paused as she saw her gaunt yet healing form in the mirror. Restorative potions or not it was going to be weeks before she looked normal again, bloody Azkaban...

For the first time since her escape Bellatrix began feeling oddly resentful about her long imprisonment all while she downed the polyjuice potion and suffered the indignity of becoming Lucius Malfoy.

Changing into his robes she exited the room and sighed out, "Nothing more then an over glorified spy."

Her annoyed grumble was lost to the noise of her tossing some floo powder into the fireplace, and after a brief command she soon exited in the Ministry building atrium. Pausing in surprise upon her entry Bellatrix glanced about the lobby in mild shock seeing that it was filled with hundreds of witches and wizards. Was this normal? No wonder Lucius despised these gatherings so much.

Worming her way through the masses she finally made it to the ministery entrance, slipping in she did her best to play Malfoy as she headed for her seat which essentially boiled down to being an aloof ponce. Sitting she waited with the rest of the Wizengamot to gather and finally caught sight of her target; well target was a misnomer, her goal was to watch the former Boy-Who-Lived and write a report on it, boring.

This Lillith seemed to be supremely self confident and almost annoyed by the proceedings around her, Bellatrix couldn't help but note how much the girl resembled herself from better times as she prowled around the defendants chair in the chambers center.

What drew her attention though was the smile, she'd seen it before on her masters face decades ago, a wolf let loose amongst the sheep that was dismissed by all those around her, just as she wished it. For the first time this evening she was honestly intrigued, as the rest of the Wizengamot finally seated the buffoon Fudge slammed a gavel on his podium.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at this, even she knew that the gavel wasn't used in British courts, just more of the ineffective fools attempts to draw attention to himself, remembering she was supposed to be Lucius Bella schooled her features and tried to pay attention to the proceedings.

"This meeting of the Wizengamot has now commenced, as many of you are aware the recent...accident Mr. Harry Potter has experienced has left him in a different form, one in which he was able to wrest the title of the most Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin from the past and claim it for herself."

 _'Ah, already trying to make the girl sound like a thief'_ Bellatrix mused, a juvenile tactic but one fitting a man such as Fudge, young Miss Potter for her part just smiled thinly up at the Minister for Magic.

Continuing on Fudge dropped his tone to a sardonic level, "Which begs the question how she was able to do so, seeing as how there hasn't been a heir apparent for nearly forty years."

Obviously given the floor the young woman in green began pacing, eventually she looked up to the sea of plum robes surrounding her and smiled again.

"Well, it so happens by the ancient laws of Right of Conquest I was able to claim the title and house after defeating my sworn enemy thrice, although its more like six times at this point with one draw, the shade of Salazar keeps insisting that was a win though."

There was an obvious stir amongst the gathered nobles before Fudge interjected with another question, "And who was this enemy that you stole the title from?"

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes again at the childish attempts to make the Potter girl seem a thief she bit her tongue and listened to the response.

"Well his given name was Tom Marvolo Riddle, a half-blood alumni of Hogwarts," with that she conjured the name in the air then began rearranging the letters into a new phrase, Bellatrix felt her heart seize a moment when the girl was done. "Although he used an anagram to rename himself, I suppose the bastard thought it was clever that 'vold de mort' meant flight from death in French."

The girl stated this as 'I AM LORD VOLDEMORT' floated above her head.

Turning to meet the Minister's gaze Bellatrix could see the man was turning a dozen shades of red and purple before he bellowed, "YOU KNOW WHO IS DEAD! HE HAS NOT RETURNED!"

Snorting Lilly twirled a finger in the air as she conjured a leather recliner and plopped down into it, "Odd I seem to have inherited an ancient house and roughly three billion pounds sterling from him by defeating his arse repeatedly over the past fifteen years, I suppose it's only my imagination.

"Although, if a certain incompetent politician hadn't been so insistent to have any news of the Dark Lord's return silenced we could have had Barty Crouch Jr. testify, sadly you had him kissed." Grinning up at the now maroon faced Fudge Lilly let all emotion drop from her face, "You know my claim is legal, why am I here defending myself against baseless accusations for the second time this year?"

Fudge finally got to the point, ' _Thank Merlin'_ Bellatrix thought, seriously as interesting as it was to see a teenager rip into the minister she had more important things to do.

"Well, since you _are_ the heiress of a long dead line certain rules had to be pulled from the vaults so to speak. Since you _are_ obviously only a woman you are obligated to take a ministry appointed husband and produce heirs to make sure that the line of Slytherin and Potter do not die out."

The sickly smile on the man's face made Bellatrix's stomach churn while most of the female delegates began stirring, rage beginning to coalesce, Lillith Alice Potter-Slithern just smirked, her emerald eyes now glowing.

"Heh...well, outside of this interesting set of events, since it _is_ my first sitting in front of the Wizengamot as a full fledged member I am allowed to bring a personal grievance to the forefront am I not?"

Fudge looked a bit uncertain and glanced to his Undersecretary, Umbridge, who looked a bit glassy eyed really, simply nodded.

Eventually realizing that he couldn't do anything about this delaying tactic Fudge sighed out, "Yes, you do have that right."

Grinning Lilly hopped off her recliner and vanished it as she began pacing, "Brilliant, well here it is, recent evidence has made itself apparent that Sirius Black, best friend of my deceased father James Potter was in fact not the secret keeper for my family. Da and Sirius were pranksters and they thought it would be the ultimate joke on the Dark Tosser if they made the most unlikely of people my parents secret keeper, Peter Pettigrew. Sadly what no one realized was the coward had already aligned himself with Voldemort and well, history speaks of the end result.

Bellatrix nodded subconsciously at that, Pettigrew was a pathetic specimen if there ever was one and everything the Potter-Slytherin heir said was true, although Fudge obviously didn't agree.

"WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE!?"

Lilly simply rolled her eyes then began staring Fudge down, "I want you to swear that Sirius will have an honest trial under this auspicious body while under the effects of veritaserum, after that we'll discuss your need for me to take...a husband..."

Fudge glared down at the raven haired teen then pulled out his wand. ' _You idiotic fool'_ Bellatrix thought, he was being so obviously played it was pathetic, it was fairly obvious the girl had realized a half hour ago she didn't even need to try to play him.

"I Cornelius Fudge do so swear that if Sirius Black is brought before this body he will be given a fair trial," the response he expected from this was not what he received, Lilly fell on her bum as she began cackling manically.

Gasping for breath she looked to her right then said, "Well you heard the man Padfoot, you have a clear shot for freedom," with that Sirius Orion Black appeared next to Lilly grinning brilliantly looking no worse for wear from his stint in Azkaban.

"No fair," Bellatrix mumbled to herself as her cousin hopped onto the upraised dais and pulled Lilly to her feet.

Glancing to Madam Bones he raised his brows and stated, "Dear Madam, I do believe you and I have a date?"

Smirking the war-witch pushed Sirius into the defendants chair and pulled out a bottle of veritaserum, glancing up to the now pale faced Fudge she said, "Can I have your confirmation that this is an authorized interrogation by the ministry?"

Fudge, too stunned to actually think simply nodded, Amelia gave Sirius the three drops and thus began the hour long interrogation, it became obvious quite quickly that the man had not betrayed his friend and his family and felt nothing but remorse for the end results. They further embarrassed the ministry by making it very clear that he had never been formally charged or even given a trial, he had simply been declared guilty and tossed to the dementors to be forgotten.

As the impromptu interview ended Lilly stood up beside Sirius and coughed to gain attention, "It is obvious to me that my father's dear friend is innocent, all those that agree that he should be cleared of all charges and given 10,000 galleons per year spent in Azkaban in reparations, raise your wands."

The girl grinned viciously as the majority took her side, Fudge now regaining his enraged visage slammed his gavel against the podium, "Agreed, Sirius Orion Black you are cleared of all charges and given the reparations of 10,000 galleons per year spent unjustly jailed, that does not affect the fact the young Lady Potter-Slytherin must take a husband though."

Throwing her head back and cackling in a manner that had Bellatrix nodding in approval the raven haired heiress just motioned to Sirius as she tried to catch her breath, "I Sirius Orion Black do so claim the ancient title of Lord Black through the rights of heredity." As he stated this there was a brief flash and suddenly the Black family ring appeared on his right hand.

Grinning even brighter now he glanced to Lilly while continuing on, "And as Lord Black I declare my _goddaughter_ Lillith Alice Potter to be my direct Heir and offer her the option to become her father through adoption."

Lilly grinned at Sirius and Bellatrix couldn't help mirroring it, this was brilliant, slipping on the heirs ring the girl chirped out, "I Lillith Alice Potter do so accept the title of heiress to the family Black and accept Sirius Orion Black as my adoptive father and patriarch for my affairs. Including the right to arrangement of marriage contracts and methods of keeping the blood line alive."

Both smirked up at the white faced Fudge as the ancient magics took hold and suddenly the ministry lost any ability to ever control the Potters or the Blacks, but Sirius wasn't done yet it would seem.

"Since my daughter and I are rather limited in family members I do so reinstate Andromeda Tonks into the family Black and extend the invitation to her husband Edward and her daughter Nymphadora. I also dissolve the marriage contracts between my cousins and their husbands in the Lestrange and Malfoy families, if they wish to declare themselves loyal to the Family Black over their current allegiances they will be under the aegis of my name."

Bellatrix gasped as her wedding band burned and fell off her hand, starring wide eyed at her cousin she felt the tendrils of bondage disappear in an instant and felt her familiar grin wrap its way over Lucius Malfoy's face, "Dear cousin, I shall be taking you up on your offer soon."

Before the meeting could break down any further Lilly spoke up one last time, "Minister Fudge, I have one last complaint to file."

Fudge, looking like a sack of a rotting potatoes at this point simply sighed, "What is that miss Potter-Slytherin-Black," Smirking Lilly nodded lightly

"Black will do, I've always been one for brevity. Regardless I wish to bring charges against your Undersecretary Umbridge, for she is the one who sent Dementors after me this summer. It is she who has been torturing students with blood quills, a level two dark artefact in fact. It is she who plans on emulating the bloody Nazi's by subverting the government and implementing muggle-born concentration camps. I have already given Madam Bones all the pertinent evidence and wish to press formal charges."

Before anyone could react Dolores Umbridge snapped out of whatever funk she had been in and pointed her wand at Lillith Alice Potter-Slytherin-Black, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Same old Same old, re-editing old work is a pain, please review.**

* * *

Lilly knew she was in trouble the moment she was finished speaking, her tenuous grasp on Umbridge's Imperius curse snapped as the enraged woman balked at the thought of being held accountable for her actions and all.

As the superior smile fell away from the raven haired witch's lips she stared at the slowly incoming green energy pulse with something akin to resignation, if she dove out of the way Sirius or Amelia would be hit by it, simple as that. This entire series of events was her goddamn fault, the wizarding world needed Amelia Bones to lead the Auror's in the upcoming war and she was _not_ going to let her newly minted father die on her watch, he had suffered enough and he deserved his life and freedom.

So, as all signs of her faux superiority complex fell away she smirked at her approaching executioner and remembered her impromptu philosophical lecture to her friends on the killing curse. Figuring ' _Why not_ ' she extended her hand at the approaching green light so similar to her own glowing eyes and threw her will against that of Dolores Jane Umbridge.

As energies she herself didn't quite understand began swirling around her outstretched hand she dumped her entire magical core into blocking the coalesced beam of hatred and watched it stop mere centimeters from herself. A sound no louder then a whisper on the wind seemed to flow from the curse.

Straining she heard her Death's playfully lilting voice, ' _Why fight so hard, are you that afraid of dying_?'

Not quite knowing why Lilly's lips turned up into a sardonic grin as she thought back, ' _There are worse fates than death and I'll gladly walk the final path one day. Fact is I'm just a bad loser and refuse to let this fat toad end me here.'_

Suddenly feeling as though approving laughter playfully kissed her mind she gave a parting quip then released the pent up energy as her world went black.

* * *

Sirius felt his world end the second the crazy bitch in the ugly cardigan screamed the killing curse at his adoptive daughter. Lilly was a good three meters ahead of him and he watched in horror as she interposed herself between the sickly green curse and the two adults still standing by the defendants chair.

He was powerless to do anything, as he had been for the past bloody decade he could do nothing to protect the child of his fallen best friend and the woman he had admired from afar. A moment later the earnest wiry boy turned sarcastic lithe young woman threw her right hand towards the curse, and in an instant Sirius felt his skin prickle into gooseflesh as the entire room dropped to below freezing temperatures.

Every joule of latent energy was drawn into the woman before him as she threw her will against the killing curse, a swirling miasma of raw magic and emotion stopped the Avada Kedavra from touching his daughter leaving it hanging in midair.

His shocked mind finally allowing him to move and he quickly rushed up to Lilly as he heard her giggle out, "Au revoir."

Then the killing curse rebounded off her splayed out hand and smacked the toad like woman in the face leaving herself struck down by her own curse, flying backwards Lilly landed in her godfathers arms blood running from her eyes and nose yet smiling wistfully.

"LILLY!" Sirius screamed, shaking the catatonic young woman, her emerald eyes cleared then focused on Siruis' face as she temporarily regained her composure.

"Hey Padfoot...apparently the killing curse tastes like bananas, who knew?" And with that she passed out.

* * *

As the Umbridge creature cast the killing curse at her newly anointed cousin Bellatrix sighed inwardly, ' _Well boo, she was so interesting too.'_

Much to her surprise though the girl grinned as her eyes ignited trailing green fire and braced herself while extending out an open hand. Bellatrix along with the rest of the Wizengamot gaped openly as the room froze over and a fount of energy opened before the girl stopping the unblockable curse dead in its tracks, her lips twitched up into a cold smile when suddenly the Avada Kedavra rebounded and struck the Undersecretary dead.

Bellatrix sat there dumbfounded as Sirius rushed up and caught the Potter girl as she went reeling backwards, seeing the girl sprawled out smiling and obviously alive caused Bella to giggle irrationally for a few seconds. Thankfully there was too much of an uproar for anyone to notice this rather uncharacteristic move from 'Lucius'. The room was suddenly flooded with Auror's and reporters, apparently Fudge had half the papers in Britain here for his "defeat" of the Slytherin heiress.

Smirking Bellatrix stood and made for the exit, _'Well well, evening edition is going to be rather interesting, now isn't it?_ ' Deciding that as soon as she made her report she would observe the girl on her own time Bellatrix flooed back to the Riddle Mansion with the beginnings of a new plan formulating.

* * *

Remus Lupin paced back and forth closely trailed by Sirius and Ms. Tonks, his mind racing as he processed everything his formerly felonious friend had told him while they waited for news on Harr...Lilly. That was taking some time to adapt to, his animal instincts kept telling him that his long dead friends child was a young woman despite his human mind still locking onto the image of the gangly boy he'd met on the Hogwarts Express. Growling without realizing it he glanced at the clock and sighed, plopping into the uncomfortable chair that seemed to be the going standard at Saint Mungo's he began rubbing his temples as he felt both his companions sit down next to him and each wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Nothing could have been done about it Moony, Dumbledore kept all this to himself since the day James and Lily were murdered, hell my daughter-," at this Sirius smiled without realizing it, "lived the lies and it took her fifteen years to put it all together, don't beat yourself up over it."

Remus sighed again letting his hands fall into his lap, "I know but to think that everything that's befallen us, all the hardships Lilly has had to go through was all based on some barmy prophecy and a bunch of hairbrained conjuncture... Padfoot, we failed her, we failed her so badly I'm shocked she wants anything to do with us."

Nymphadora smiled at that her blue hair momentarily returning to its normal pink hue, "That's the thing though Remus, Harry and now Lilly only ever wanted one thing, family. You and Sirius are basically all she has, now that Mum, Da and I are back with the Blacks we'll be there for her too. She won't look at this as you failing her, although I will admit from what I've been hearing she's become quite the vengeful little minx."

Sirius grinned at that while bobbing his head quickly, "You have no idea, I just need to teach her to become an animagus and she'll officially be a Marauder, the girl has Moony's smarts, James wit, and my lack of fucks to give, observing the chaos she stirs up has kept me entertained for weeks."

Remus eyed his long time friend warily as he processed this, he'd learned long ago that anything Sirius approved of deserved such discretion. Eventually cracking a smile at the man's grinning visage he simply shook his head when the door to the waiting room slammed open. Standing there was one Hermione Granger, her face tear stained but eyes hardened in resolve, behind her was Professor McGonagall, worry obviously written in her posture.

"Is she ok?" Hermione frantically stated, Sirius had already enlightened both he and Ms. Tonks on the brunette's...interesting relationship with Lilly so Remus had no issues divulging information.

"The doctors say she will make a full recovery but they want to observe her for the time being, apparently most of the damage done to her body was from releasing all her magic at once rather then the curse thrown at her."

He neglected to mention that the amount of magic Lilly wielded was at such levels that he'd personally label her as a weapon of mass destruction, it wouldn't help the situation and it would probably anger the witches before him. He'd learned his lessons early on from one Lily Evans, don't anger powerful witches, it wasn't worth the effort.

"Thank Merlin, we had not heard anything until the evening papers arrived, Albus wasn't allowed to be at the meeting due to Fudge's interference so even he had been in the dark," Remus did his best to not growl at Minerva's mention of the headmaster, instead he decided to bring up another sore point.

"On that note you're going to be needing a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Lilly deflected the killing curse right back at the vile woman, it apparently lost a majority of its power though so Umbridge is simply brain dead rather then dead dead."

Both Hermione and Minerva started at this, apparently the papers had underplayed who had fired the curse initially, that wouldn't stay quiet long since Umbridge had been universally disliked and Fudge's incompetence was now on public display.

"Is Lilly going to be in trouble for this?" Hermione asked with obvious worry.

Miss Tonks laughed a bit at that, "No way, Director Bones was in the path of that curse and as far as she's concerned the only reason she's not dead is because Lilly is crazy brave and took the shot instead."

Hermione smiled at that as she replied fondly, "Yeah that sounds like my Lilly, she's got this 'saving people thing' that makes her do all sorts of stupidly heroic deeds. I just wish it didn't typically involve beating down trolls, slaying twenty meter long basilisks and chasing off dementors."

Everyone, even Minerva, looked shocked but before they could question her there was a chuckle from the doorway, still in a hospital gown Lilly stood there leaning against the door frame, her long bare legs crossed as she smiled playfully at the gathered party.

"It was twenty-two meters and I didn't _plan_ on fighting the damn thing. Voldemort's soul shard was trying to possess Ginny and the snake was in my way, pity honestly I wouldn't mind a bloody huge monster at my beck and call." As the gathered adults stared at her in shock Hermione was across the room in a second arms wrapped around her girlfriend.

After a moment she began hitting her lightly, "Don't ever do something so incredibly...YOU again! Do you have any idea how scared I was?!"

Before Lilly could apologize Hermione had pulled her into another hug then deeply kissed the witch, Minerva gaped openly while Sirius and Tonks just laughed, the Black family had very few scruples when it came to such matters so it wasn't all that surprising.

Addressing the Deputy Headmistress Remus coughed a bit, "Yes well it would appear that young Miss Granger and Harry had a bit of a thing before the accident and well...the feelings didn't go away."

Minerva still looking a bit shocked shook her head slowly in turn, "Well, this will definitely present some problems in the future, although I dare say that Miss Potter's new found power and wealth will make the populace less likely to to object."

Finally extricating herself from her lip lock Lilly threw in, "Just call me Black for the time being, it'll help with all the titles I'm accumulating, and I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us for now. I personally don't give a damn what anyone thinks at this point but Hermione being of...my persuasion on top of being a muggle-born will invite too many chances for attack."

Impressed at how well thought out that was the elder woman nodded in understanding, "As far as I am concerned you started this relationship as a fifteen year old young man, you can't control who you love and I won't put a stop to it regardless. Just... try to do yourself a favor and do not let Severus find out."

Grimaces crossed the faces of all those present, Sirius then flashed a feral grin that caught both Remus and Lilly's attention.

Sounding slightly apprehensive Lilly asked, "Dad, what are you planning?"

Sirius' eyes widened and his grin lost its feral edge as true warmth took over as he was obviously happy with the new moniker, "Well my dear daughter it occurs to me that the Ministry owes me a great deal and Hogwarts is in desperate need of a DADA professor, and it just so happens I'm a trained out of work Auror who wishes to spend more time with his family.

"The fact that Snivelus will be denied the position he lusts for so much would just be icing on the cake for me," A laugh cut through the room, its occupants were all shocked to see that it came from the nominally stern and neutral Professor McGonagall.

If truth were to be told, they shouldn't have been so surprised, she was a Gryffindor after all.

* * *

After twenty minutes of visiting with her friends and family Lilly had been accosted by the second coming of Madam Pompfry and dragged back to her bed, sighing she banged her head against the headboard languishing in pure boredom.

Her Hermione had to return to Hogwarts with Professor McGonagall and her dad, cousin and uncle in all but name went off to arrange Sirius' little prank, so it was nine at night on a Saturday and she was left to her own devices.

Suddenly smiling wickedly she began giggling, "Left to my own devices in London on a weekend...what is a bored little rich girl to do?"

Still smirking she cast a few illusion charms to make her jailers think she was still resting in bed and apparated to a muggle department store, lucky for her they were still open. Ignoring the stares (it isn't often that a gorgeous young woman in a hospital gown goes shopping right before closing) she grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, a baby doll cut Ramone's t-shirt and a pair of red Chuck Taylor's and paid for the lot of it in cash.

Remembering the cold she quickly dressed in her new acquisitions and grabbed a rather cute brown fur lined leather jacket and bought that as well.

Pausing when that thought registered she just sighed and rolled with it, "Seriously acting more and more like a girl as time goes on, I swear I'm going to resist this weird urge to buy more shoes though..."

Now done shopping Lilly apparated downtown and hit a couple clubs, much to her amusement none of the male bartenders carded her. As last call went out she realized that she was not nearly ready to call it a night, knocking over a closed liquor store (and leaving a few hundred quid on the counter) she began wandering London while sipping a bottle of Pusser's.

As she thought about the days events it amused her to an extent that she just remembered that she had practically killed Umbridge, well close enough anyhow, "Heh, this is to you Dolores Umbridge, may you burn in hell you horrid bint!"

Laughing to the sky she downed another gulp of the potent rum and kept wandering, eventually it began snowing so she cast a warming charm on herself as she meandered into the back alleys. Boredom and alcohol rarely lead to smart decision making so it didn't really register that this was probably a bad idea for an attractive young lady, so it came as a bit of surprise when she was surrounded by a gang of less then reputable looking gentleman.

"Heyya girlie, bit off the ol' beaten path ain'cha?" one of them sneered, she eyed him a moment then took another sip of her drink before responding in a rather uninterested tone.

"The safety pins through your ears make you look like a poser, I really have nothing against the Sex Pistols but really you can't pull off Sid Vicious' look in the slightest, like your hair though."

This...confused the would be muggers, the poser cocked his head and said, "Err...thanks? Now give us your money lady or yer gonna regret it!"

Finishing the bottle of rum she tossed it over her shoulder inadvertently hitting one of the toughs in the head knocking him out cold.

Sighing she cracked her knuckles and summoned the Dagger of Remorse to her open hand, "All right Sid, I'll play 'Anarchy in the UK' for you when I get home, cheers!"

With that she dove through the group leaving light slashes on anyone who got in her way, not really trying to kill them she was simply toying with the muggles until the daggers enchants took hold. A knife whose wounds induced uncompromising fear tends to mess with the head a bit.

After a short time they all began screaming like Draco when Hermione embraced her inner violence and shoved off, "Boo, boring. Oh well maybe another gang will try assault'in me later on."

There was light laughter behind her as a woman asked, "Why didn't you kill them?"

Still quite drunk Lilly shrugged, "Meh, I didn't want to bother hiding the bodies and my magic is still a bit wonky so can't really hold a stable transfiguration right now, more fun to make them be terrified of good looking women their entire lives anyhow."

There was more laughter as the woman stepped from the shadows, recognizing her from the Daily Prophet Lilly realized she was right and truly buggered.

Sighing she pulled the second bottle of rum out of her bottomless bag and cracked it open, "Hello Bella."

The rather attractive psychopath grinned in return, "'Ello Lilly, I've been just dying to meet you! You're...a rather interesting witch ya know?"

Snorting in amusement Lilly took a pull from the bottle of Pusser's then eyed the older witch contemplatively, walking towards her slowly she offered the bottle which Bellatrix gladly accepted and downed half of it in a single pull.

Rather impressed Lilly took the bottle back and leaned against the alley wall, "So what can I do for you? Are you here to kill me for your lovable Dark Lord?"

Snorting Bellatrix began pacing along the filthy alley before she stopped and sighed, "No, I've had a bit of...a falling out you could say, he is not who I originally followed and to be blunt I witnessed you defy death in front of the Wizengamot earlier and I'm impressed. So I'd like to take my cousin up on his offer and ask for asylum."

Nodding Lilly took one last drink from the bottle before handing it to Bella to finish it off, as the dark witch tossed the empty bottle aside Lilly grabbed her left arm and slide her sleeve up to look at the vile dark mark marring Bella's flesh.

"Eh, Death and I have a tenuous work relationship, tell you what, you let me remove that, and we'll talk."

Bellatrix's normally heavily lidded eyes opened wide in shock at that, "You can't get rid of your dark mark, many have tried but its bonded to your very being!"

Nodding Lilly pulled out her wand and began poking the mark, "Yeah its a corrupted version of the Protean Charm, my girlfriend figured that out a bit ago when we were trying to find methods to communicate that couldn't be intercepted. Tom bound it with a bit of soul magic and in turn it means the brand is sealed to you forever if you don't know what you're looking for."

Focusing on the runic matrix so similar to Voldemort's sick Horcruxes Lilly forced her will into the symbol and destroyed it. Bellatrix fell to her knees and screamed as the her arm bled where the mark had been torn out, Lilly quickly cast healing and cleaning charms at the arm which was now bare of any blemish. The psychotic former Death Eater stared at her arm in shock for well over a minute after the fact, unable to articulate words as what just happened finally sunk in.

"You...you are truly more powerful then anyone realizes aren't you?"

Nodding Lilly sighed as she looked up into the snow filled sky, "Yeah...so if you're for real and you want to switch sides I'd like your help, I've heard you're quite the hellcat when it comes to dueling and I need a females perspective. So do you mind tutoring me on how a proper Dark Lady is supposed to fight?"

A bit nonplussed Bella took to her feet and approached the teenager, cocking her head to the side she then asked, "Why would you want to know that?"

Grinning Lilly met Bella's lilac gaze with her glowing emerald, "Because my dear crazy cousin I intend to take over the world and bend it to my will, you wanna help?"

Bellatrix stood there silently contemplating a moment then nodded, "Ok, I'm in."

* * *

Oddly enough Lillith's tentative partnership with her cousin started the same as her drinking binge had, by knocking over a muggle store in the dead of night.

After openly mocking Bellatrix's goth wedding dress ensemble Lilly dragged her to a high end shopping centre and began ransacking the clothes shops, she then spent an hour helping Bella choose new outfits all of which were in black.

She voiced her opinion on this to the older witch who simply smiled and said, "Its a Black thing love, it's what we do."

Rolling her eyes she eventually approved of a rather flattering blouse and skirt comb with lacy stockings and knee length high heeled boots, it fit the insane but hot witch quite well. Tossing Bella an calf length leather jacket Lilly threw a few hundred quid on the counter and followed her cousin out of the shop.

Eventually Bellatrix's magpie attention span spotted a jewelry store costing Lilly a few thousand quid there as well. After a final stop at a toy store both witches began sobering up, which was a crime on itself.

Eventually Bella twirled on a tip toe send her large jacket spinning about her as she sing songed, "I know what'll take the piss outta ole' Tom-my!" Smirking at the lilac eyed nutter Lilly encouraged her to continue with a brief gesture.

"Well the entire reason The Dark Lord went after your mum and dad is because Snape told him about the prophecy involving you two, he's obsessed with finding out the rest so why not go smash the bloody thing and deny him his prize?"

Her smile doing the Cheshire cat justice Lilly nodded slowly, "You know what Henchwoman? I think you're on to something there."

* * *

The Department of Mysteries wing of the Ministry of Magic was like many things in the wizarding community really.

Large, old, and needlessly complicated, a place that were it a government building in the muggle world would have a standardized layout to ease the daily lives of it's cubicle slaves to make things more streamlined and manageable.

Magicals would have nothing to do with such craziness as 'Common Sense' thank you very much. As the spinning room Lilly and Bellatrix had entered shortly after their trip down the lifts slowed down she sighed outwardly at the obvious security flaw no one but her had noticed in the past fifty years.

"Door to the Hall of Prophecy," with that a door to her right unlocked, rolling her eyes she hooked her arm through the distracted Bella's as she was playing with a brightly colored muggle slinky.

"I have to admit I have no idea what the intent of this weapon is but its quite enthralling!" Glancing at her crazy cousin in bemusement she simply shook her head and led her into the massive room, it was lined with hundreds of shelves all holding faintly glowing dusty orbs that added a soft ambient light to the shadows. Craning her head back Lilly could just see the barest edges of the vaulted ceiling as the towering shelves were lost in the distance.

Moving through the pale light Lilly finally spoke, "This is bloody ridiculous Bella! Seriously we entered through the _visitors_ section, set our reasons for being here as 'Shenanigans' and 'Henching' and made it all the way down to the most secure level of the bloody Ministry without casting a single spell! The only "resistance" we've experienced is a drunk guard! I mean what the hell!"

Bella for her part just began giggling as she flicked the slinky out at random prophecies causing them to spark, "Why do you think the Dark Lord isn't in all that much of a hurry to take over love? The ministries defense is a bit of a cracker, this'll actually be the second infiltration for me, last time the guard hadn't even punched in before he got himself piss ass drunk."

Cursing to herself Lilly followed her psychotic partner in crime as she stopped before a specific orb, tapping it with the now somewhat melty slinky Bella intoned, "That's you, that's the one the Dark Lord wanted so bad."

Glaring at the glass sphere as if its existence offended her (which it did) she read the tag 'S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D; Dark Lord and (?) Harry Potter', she continued to glare at it for well over a minute, Bella and in turn Tom's memories hadn't been lying. Her incompetent divination professor had spoken a prophecy to Dumbledore and he had hidden it from her, more lies and machinations for the greater good no doubt.

Openly sneering at this point she grabbed the sphere and held it between herself and Bella while angrily spitting out, "Well lets see why the old bastard justified locking me in a cupboard while being the starved slave of fucking child molesters for a decade..."

Tapping the prophecy with her wand a whispy voice spoke out, _"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies"_

Lillith and by extension Bellatrix both stared at the orb incredulously.

"So... since Severus told The Dark Lord about _half_ the prophecy he went off half cocked and accidentally marked you as his equal?"

Shoving her wand into her belt Lilly forced her glasses up as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, "And apparently I have a power that he doesn't understand or is incapable of handling..."

On the last bit both women looked supremely irritated, "So one of you has to die so the other can live I mean...really? That is just so..."

Bellatrix grew silent before both witches intoned at once, "Well no shit!"

Now furious that her entire life was controlled by a doddering old man dictating a child's upbringing he had NO legal control over because of a bloody vague _prophecy_ Lilly threw the orb over her shoulder and heard it shatter,

"My entire life has been manipulated to do something I'd do otherwise, the bastard murdered my parents, of COURSE I'm going to try and kill the son of a bitch, the hell was Dumbles trying to do keeping me from my heritage? I could have spent years training if I'm destined to off the sodding wanker not spend it getting the shite beaten out of me by the Dursley's! What is the point, was he hoping I'd be humbled from it all for more of his 'For the light' bullshit?

"All it did was desensitize me to violence, I offed a possessed professor in my first year and my only reaction was being annoyed I got Volde'funk all over my hands for crying out loud! "

Bella largely ignored the rant as she looked at her ruined slinky mournfully, jamming it into her pocket she pointed her wand at the broken sphere and flicked atit with a flourish,"Reparo!"

The prophecy sphere came back together and Bellatrix muttered a few more charms causing it to glow again, placing it back on the shelf she turned to the rather confused Lilly smiling, "Now The Dark Lord won't know it is gone. He has already imperioused five muggles trying to get it and they all caught fire so he won't bother with that tactic again. Most likely he'll try to bait you here so let him waste his time while I train you and your friends!"

Lilly looked at her cockeyed a moment before grinning, "For a completely daft bird you have your moments, you are no longer my Henchwoman, you're promoted to...Wicked Witch, shall we?"

Bellatrix clapped happily then hooked her arm through Lilly's, "We should take a gander at the other departments, see if there's anything worth stealing, then we can get Chinese!"

Lilly nodded enthusiastically at that, "Sounds good I've got a five alarm hangover and I think some sweet and sour chicken will help that."

As the two woman left the room an incredibly befuddled Arthur Weasley removed his invisibility cloak and wondered what in the bloody hell he was going to tell the Order about this one.

* * *

As Sirius escorted Hermione to Lilly's hospital room he kept glancing at the young woman with some worry; lesbianism wasn't exactly a foreign concept to the wizarding world but her muggle-born blood status on top of "corrupting" a high noble was going to make her life a living hell once the media got word.

Hell he wasn't sure the girls relationship should even be labeled homosexual, she'd fallen for Lilly when she'd been Harry, but the hardliner Purebloods would never see it that way and they'd do everything in their power to ruin the poor girl. His thoughts were interrupted as Hermione reached the door cracking it slightly, as it opened he heard a voice he thought he'd never hear again.

"And I'm telling you the Dark Lady has gravitas, it gets the point across immediately that you shouldn't be messed with and it sounds good to boot!"

There was a sigh as Lilly responded with, "And I agree with you cousin I really do, but lets be honest here the negative connotations involved would make the title a liability, pity muggle copyright laws are so stringent or I'd go with 'Darth Lillith,' or the like."

A concerned Hermione pushed the door fully open and stepped into the room suddenly stopping in mid motion, Sirius followed and took in the scene before him, both Lilly and his insane Death Eater cousin Bellatrix were sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed eating takeout Chinese. Bella looked at him happily and quickly waved sending sauce flying from her chopsticks while Lilly cried out in indignation.

Eventually the crazy witch swallowed her noodles and offered up another container, "I remember you liked pork fried rice Sirius so I got this for you, I'm assuming you're Hermione yes? Lilly grabbed Won-Ton soup for you, by the way I'm Bella Black, nice to meet you! You're a mud-" she cut off as Lilly jabbed her with her own chopsticks, looking a bit abashed she continued,"a muggle-born, would you happen to know any repair spells for slinkys?"

Sirius was fairly certain he heard a few of his brain cells scream as they died trying to process what was before him, Hermione though had been a member of the _'Potter Club of unexplainable Weird Shite'_ going on five years now so she simply huffed, took the offered container of stuffed noodles while tapping the melted pink slinky with her wand.

Bellatrix let out a cheerful "Yay!" as she began playing with her repaired toy while Hermione cuddled up next to Lilly, then tore into her food, no questions asked; now more bemused then anything Sirius took the offered rice from the still grinning psychopath and conjured a plush chair to collapse into.

Looking at the three witches before him he shoveled some of the takeout into his mouth and after chewing a few moments he asked, "Lemme guess, she called my bluff and took me up on my offer didn't she?"

Lilly smiled brightly her eyes briefly flashing, "Right in one dad, she followed me home can I keep her?"

Returning the grin he quipped back with, "Having a pet is a huge responsibility dear plus she's a raging murderous Death Eater so there's that to consider."

Bella looked a bit indignant at that as she stirred her lo mein, "Hey! I'm no longer a Death Eater, I'm reformed! See Lilly removed my Dark Mark and everything!" Looking at the proffered arm Sirius and Hermione were startled to see the bare unblemished skin.

Still not convinced and trying not to chock on his rice he warily sputtered, "Ye-yes but you're still a dangerous killer with psychotic tendencies though."

Once again nodding cheerfully Bella agreed, "Oh yes, but now I only kill people Lilly tells me to, see we plan on eliminating everyone who gets in her way while we slowly take over the government from the inside. She's going to use me for those who won't play nice and all that. It's kind of like working for the Dark Lord except I'm not allowed to torture anyone in exchange for not getting tortured myself, fair trade honestly."

Looking sharply at his daughter she let out a dejected sigh then rolled her eyes, "Way to go Bella not like I'm going to obliviate my girlfriend and dad... Yes my plans are to get the right people in the right places so we can pull our fucking world out of the Victorian era and replace our farce of a democracy with something that doesn't model itself after ancient Rome that goes for the blood purity BS as well."

Looking very tired all the sudden she dropped her empty container and chop sticks to the ground while rubbing her temples, giving Hermione an appreciative smile as the older witch held her with one arm while she went silent basking in the silent affection.

Eventually she met Sirius' eyes and continued, "Look dad, our world is led by a bunch of jumped up inbred pricks who are so terrified of change that they don't grasp the fact that muggles have progressed past muskets and have the capacity to quite literally wipe our entire civilization out with one bloody nuclear bomb. We've stagnated and are so corrupt that nothing of value gets accomplished without copious amounts of bribery and my recent change has shown me first hand the misogynistic and bigoted nature of our culture.

"I was born a boy, I got turned into a woman, and I'm in love with muggle-born witch, without my hereditary titles or the ability and willingness to kill people on a whim there is next to nothing stopping a pure-blood ponce from dragging me or Hermione behind a shed and having his way with us.

"That's not acceptable, I've come to a simple conclusion, I am not dark, I am not light, I am a very vengeful shade of gray and I will do everything in my power to make sure those I love survive and thrive."

She glanced down at Bella as she was playing with her slinky and growled out, "I'll make a deal with the devil if it means the enemies of my house burn, after all, its for the greater good is it not?"

The sarcastic tone wasn't lost on anyone, speaking for the first time Hermione softly stated, "I don't want you to go on the warpath for me dear, but I know you, and you won't rest until you think I'm safe, its rather annoying that you think I can't take care of myself though."

The playful laughter was unexpected, Lilly reached out and gently stroked Hermione's cheek, "Brown eyes I _know_ you don't need my protection, I saw what you did to Draco when you were proper angry yeah? But you're one witch amongst thousands, and in a society where the upper crust looks at our sex as second class citizens at best and playthings for the boys at worst? I will do everything in my power to change the way the world turns."

Kissing the brunette passionately Lilly pulled back after a moment then grinned, "I'm Welsh love I don't go for passive girls, I fully intend for you to be at my side when we make these bastards pay in blood and coin."

"I'll hold you to your promise Lilly, I'm not going to let you out of my sight unless it's completely unavoidable, I may be yours but you are also mine and lets be honest here you're the one who attracts trouble anyhow."

Laughing she scooped the smaller witch up and pulled her into her lap, "Yes ma'am I promise to follow your instructions to the letter!" Hermione nodded solemnly while stating "Good" before her facade cracked and she began giggling lightly, a short snog later they both seemed to forget about the two bemused Black's watching them.

Turning to her head of house Bella raised her brows, "This normal for these two cousin?"

Snorting as he shoveled the last of his rice into his mouth he shook his head while chewing, swallowing the lot he laughed gently, "Oh hell no normally they're sappier then this, Lilly must be off her game!"

Both adults chuckled as Lilly raised a rude finger at them from behind Hermione's back not breaking the kiss in the process. Sirius cleared his throat then asked what had really been on his mind this entire time, "Bellatrix, its not like it isn't nice to see you sane and all but why are you helping for equality when you were a rabid Voldemort follower?

"Plus not to bring up a sore point to you Lilly she _did_ torture the Longbottoms into insanity, I'm not sure Neville will take this alliance well."

Bella sighed as she hopped off the bed and began pacing the room, tossing the slinky over her shoulder she began wringing her hands as her face screwed up in concentration, "Its like this, the evening Lilly defeated the Horcrux (yes she explained them to me)in her mind all the Death Eaters felt their connection to the Dark Lord diminish, at the time none of us knew what had happened but for the first time in nearly twenty years I could think clearly."

Pausing she sat on the floor in front of Sirius leaning her head against the bed, "Not a day later it happened again, she tells me that's when she purged the locket, so as the near constant presence of my master weakened coupled with the Dementors well..."

She flashed a grin at her cousin as she shook her head, "When he broke me out lets just say I was less than impressed. S/he looks a wreck, badly mutated, emotionally unstable, and the breakout had no finesse whatsoever. So already a bit disillusioned I spent the next week in a dilapidated mansion where I get hit with the cruciatus no less then four times and over a dozen recruits were tortured to death because The Dark Lord was having a bad day. I'm not sure who he is now but the charismatic man I followed into hell is long gone, as for the blood purity thing..."

She grimaced as Lilly began chuckling finally ending her public display of affection with Hermione, "I clued her in on something the ministry has been keeping quiet for a very very long time, I looked into it and all genealogy records involving muggle-born's are kept under lock and key ostensibly for the families protection from persecution, ironically they forgot to check the restricted section of the Hogwarts library for a copy."

Hermione picked up the conversation here, "Lilly went through it a couple days ago and found out myself and a few other muggle-born friends were actually descended from squibs from families long thought dead, I was curious so I had her stea...borrow the book and let me peruse it." The room's occupants snickered at the normally rule abiding witches slip of the tongue, rolling her eyes she continued. "Anyway while Lilly was preparing for the trial I went through it and discovered something concerning, there is no such thing as muggle-borns."

This caused Bella to mutter about so much wasted effort but Sirius simply looked confused, "What do you mean by that little one?"

Sighing Hermione met Sirius' gaze her eyes hardening, "There is no such thing as spontaneous muggle-born magicals...they are _all_ descended from squibs who left the magical world behind, in essence everything the Ministry has ever told us about blood purity is an outright lie."

Sirius simply sat there looking gobsmacked, the implications were terrifying, this could unravel the very fabric of their society and they knew it, looking at his daughters 'cat got the canary' smile it hit him, that was exactly what she was going to do.

Collapsing societies aside curiosity finally got the better of him so he looked back at the brunette bookworm, "What house are you descended from?"

Grinning impishly she stood and performed a curtsy, "You oh Pad Footed one are addressing the last descendant of Rowena Ravenclaw," as a grin crawled its way up his face Sirius burst out into laughter.

It would seem his earlier worries for his daughters lady friend had been premature, once she claimed that ancient seat no one would be able to touch her.

Lilly cleared her throat to get his attention as she stood up and began cleaning up the empty containers, "I need to get the item necessary for her to make the claim when we get back to Hogwarts, ole' Tommy turned it into a Horcrux so I have to purge it first. After that? Well...lets just say things are going to get interesting."

She snorted as she glanced towards Bellatrix who suddenly found the floor very interesting, "As for the Longbottoms, Bella?"

Sighing the lilac eyed witch reached over her shoulder and grabbed her slinky off the bed and began shaking it back and forth before she begrudgingly spoke, "The night we went after Alice and Frank Longbottom we formed a strike team of twelve of The Dark Lords most powerful Death Eaters.

"At the end of the night eight were dead, two were injured to the point they could not move on their own and the remaining two, Barty Crouch Junior and my ex-husband Rodolophus Lestrange tortured the aurors into insanity. At the time I was trying to pull shrapnel out of my bum and stanch the bleeding from my left thigh, the Longbottom's coated all their ordnance in muggle rat poison to make sure the bleeding wouldn't stop on its own, I'd forgotten about that. Eventually the screaming from the other room ended, Barty and Rudy came up to me and tried to help me up but at that point I just passed out due to blood lose, I honestly have no idea how I survived that night.

"Anyway I woke up chained to the floor at my trial after that and the rest is history, I make no defense for myself, I'd have tortured them if given the chance at the time but as it stands this one sin was not mine."

Sirius was both horrified at the candid explanation and proud that his friends took so many down with them, sighing he clasped his hands before him as he mulled over his choices, eventually Lilly wrapped him in a hug that paused further thought.

"It's going to be fine dad, I've already got a rather yummy flat picked out for Bella and I made it unplottable, she gives me and the other girls tips on how to fight dirty and I begin my machinations to outwit Professor Whiskers and the Dark Tosser, just trust me on this one ok?"

Looking down into those mischievous emerald orbs he gave his daughter a wisp of a smile, "Do you solemnly swear you're up to no good?"

Grinning widely she quickly nodded, "Always Padfoot."

Sighing he stood and held her dainty hands into his calloused mits, looking down at the earnest young woman he eventually kissed her forehead and let her go, "Make a world Lily and James would be proud of, and don't forget about us old men willing to help you out ok?"

As she guided her dark and light halves to her she cast a glance over her shoulder towards her new father, "I'll always need you and Moony old man, don't ever think otherwise, stay out of trouble and go out and try to get laid, leave changing the world up to me."

With that the trio apparated away.


	10. Chapter 10

**There will likely be one more chapter of re-edited content after this, perhaps two but that is unlikely. It has been a long road, but we're getting there... Please review?**

 **AN2: For some reason no alert went out with this being initially published, after twelve hours it only has thirty views which is just bizarre for this story. So I deleted the chapter and reposted it, hopefully it lets you guys know this time?**

* * *

As was to be expected the fallout from Lillith's most recent brush with death made her an instant celebrity at school, again, and as before it was completely unwanted. Unfortunately this time the entire incident had been caught on camera.

Hermione admitted her girl looked rather enchanting as she locked her legs down and pushed her will against the glowing curse, grinning as she threw it back at the foul creature that called herself a professor. The Weasley twins had taken the heart warming image a step further by enlarging it and hanging it from the Great Hall's rafters, the faculty made a bit of noise about that but no one made any effort to take it down.

Lilly for her part just shrugged it off and said "Eh...I say this one actually makes number seven on the list," and left it at that. Though, of course, the DADA club had been in an uproar, apparently the thought of losing their club president upset them greatly which admittedly warmed the Grey Witch's heart a bit even though the situation itself was rather uncomfortable.

Lilly stood beside her girlfriend looking sheepish as nearly thirty students (and one Professor Flitwick) admonished her for taking such nasty risks, even though this time it really hadn't been her fault. Well, not completely at least.

Eventually Susan Bones made her way to the front of the crowd and addressed the emerald eyed teen directly, "Lilly I'm calling in that favor you owe me since you seem hell bent on getting yourself killed before you pay up."

Quirking a brow at the buxom redhead Lilly nodded her understanding, "A Black pays her debts, what is it you bequest?"

Smirking Susan grabbed her by the back of the head and pulled Lilly into a deep kiss, the room went silent as the Bones heiress wrapped her arms around her neck and snogged the raven haired witch for a solid ten seconds.

Breaking the kiss Sue stepped back and licked her lips, "Been waiting a month to do that, thanks," and with that she left the room her hips sashaying seductively back and forth as she turned the corner.

Hermione was too shocked to be enraged and Lilly just stood stock still face blank from what amounted to a mental overload. For the crowded room's part its denizens were in varying levels of disgust, shock, and arousal at the display, eventually shaking her head Lilly turned to face the direction of Susan's form.

"And...that just happened, well...I do believe my ability to snark has been temporary disabled," she made eye contact with Hermione worry obvious on her face, the brunette gave a slight shake of her head to show she wasn't mad, well not mad at _her_ anyway.

Scratching the side of her nose distractedly she continued, "Anyway, as the Headmaster announced my dad is taking over as the new Defense professor, since he lives in the real world he'll be teaching us largely the way I've been explaining it to you all. That being said there's some things he can't get away with showing students, that's where I come in. Hands up if you all want to keep the club going even though we'll have competent instruction for the first time since Professor Lupin got saked for bullshit reasons?"

You didn't have to be a genius to see how pleased Lilly was when every hand in the room including Flitwick's shot up. Nodding she quipped, "Gonna go out on a limb and say Mademoiselle Bones agrees with you lot of degenerates so looks like we're still stuck with each other. Now today Professor Flitwick has generously offered to explain to us how to cast the 'Bunker Shield' charm which will stop anything short of an AK cold, Professor it is now your show."

After a rather entertaining session (the highlight being Ginny's overpowered shield deflecting Ron's stunner right at his face) the young pair of Gryffindor witches meandered their way through the halls to finally open the Room of Requirement and confront another Horcrux.

Not realizing it at first the happy couple was soon flanked by Susan Bones and Daphne Greengrass, eventually the blonde Slytherin spoke up, "You're welcome by the way."

Startled Lilly and Hermione looked up at the mildly smug young woman, "For?" Hermione asked in confusion.

Susan laughed a bit at that, "For making it easier for you two to eventually come out of the closet of course! It was Daphne's idea but I didn't mind my role in the slightest, the best part is anyone tries to involve me in a smear campaign they get to deal with Auntie. To truly be honest she oh so enjoys destroying the press so really it's a win win all around."

Daphne grinned at the befuddled couple as she rolled her eyes, "Come off it you two. It is so obvious you are in love it hurts, we spend every afternoon with you for the club as well as our normal classes so it is rather hard to hide; and if you couldn't already tell we aren't judging. I am curious though, how long?"

Lilly sighed as her shoulders slumped while Hermione just smirked and shook her head, "Since the day she claimed House Slytherin as her own. Although the feelings had been there since at least the end of our second year we never acted on them."

Nodding in understanding Daphne gave the bookworm a knowing smile, "Yeah Tracey and I were the same way, although it was third year when those Dementors showed up on the train when we admitted it. Nothing quite like having all your hope sucked out of you to make you appreciate what is there."

Lilly goggled at her but Hermione snorted and opened her hand towards her girlfriend. Both Susan and Daphne burst into laughter as Lilly dropped a few galleons in her palm while mumbling, "You were right, totally misread that one, still say Draco's a poofter though I'll win that one."

After catching her breath Sue gasped out, "You two spend far too much time with the twins, anyway just letting you know that most of us girls who don't reside in the vapid airhead department already figured you two out and approve, talk to you two love birds later!"

With that they walked off leaving the amused couple behind, rubbing the bridge of her nose Lilly began giggling and it eventually became a full on laugh, Hermione wasn't far behind.

"Oh man * _hehe*_...our lives...anyway, shall we?" Nodding happily Hermione hooked her arm through her girlfriends as she was escorted to the seventh floor, eventually stopping at a dead end next to a rather confusing tapestry involving dancing trolls. As Hermione stood transfixed by the bizarre sight she missed Lilly summoning the door to the Room of Requirement that Voldemort's soul shard had so kindly informed them of; turning around as she heard Lilly whistle Hermione came to a stop next to the open passage.

After observing what could only be described as a hoarders dream come true (and a cleanup crews nightmare) for several seconds Lilly scratched her head in frustration, "Well...that is certainly a lot of shite... I have a vague idea where we need to go so I guess follow me and try not to touch anything too rusty, tetanus and all that."

Snorting Hermione took her hand and let the surly ravenette guide her through the endless piles of accumulated junk.

After a time she began speaking to fill the strange silence, "I'm thinking this is either were everything we vanish in the castle ends up or it's mass storage for the house elves, or maybe even where generations of desperate pranksters ditched the evidence to avoid detention."

Lilly nodded at that ruefully, she certainly could have used this room a few times to avoid Filch and the like in the past. Eventually Hermione slowed her pace seeing stacks upon stacks of very ancient looking books, drawn to the tomes Lilly let out a soft squeak as she was abruptly pulled in a new direction mid step, upon seeing her scholarly friends target she simply smiled and basked in the smaller witches excitement.

Letting go of Lilly's hand Hermione began sifting through the books trying to be as gentle as possible, Lilly though knocked a pile of ancient text books off a plush chair and cast a cleaning charm before sitting down. Aware that this was going to take awhile she began sifting through the trove of knowledge as well.

Hermione occasionally muttered to herself as she put the choicest volumes aside for later, trying not to laugh at her girlfriends distracted chattering Lilly's eyes were drawn to an ancient leather bound volume that seemed to call out to her. Its faded green cover was cracked with age and the gold lettering embossed along its spine was nearly illegible, squinting she picked it up and examined its front, ' _Summoning Daemons, Angels, and Other Self Important Incorporeal Entities; By Alexandria Slytherin nee Potter'_.

"What...oh...wow..." she tried opening the tome but it wouldn't budge, turning it over the back cover had a tiny indent with a small gold barb in the center; sighing at the irony of her previous admonishment to her girlfriend she jabbed her thumb into the recess and let a small amount of her blood seep into it.

The book visibly glowed for a moment then clicked open, cracking the cover a feminine voice spoke to her, _'_ _Hello my descendant. As you may have already discovered this tome is rather dangerous, the rites, bindings, and blood rituals found within are bound to our family line and no others. Heed the warnings I've inked in these pages for while the art of the Sorceress Summoner is powerful it can also cost the unwary witch more then her very life._

 _'There is nothing freely given, nothing freely gained, remember this when dealing with that which lays beyond the veil._ _If I may make a suggestion hire a goblin to help write out the contracts, if nothing else they tend to frustrate Angels which is simply amusing to observe. Be strong, be wise, be careful, hwyl fawr am nawr fy mhlentyn.'_ With that the recital which left Lilly stunned faded into silence.

' _Well...I think I can now understand ancient Welsh...that's new.._.'

She didn't know why but she felt that she needed to hide this from everyone for the time being, it may have been a compulsion charm for all she knew but regardless she surreptitiously slide the tome into her bottomless bag as she stood to cover the motion.

Nonchalantly walking towards the distracted Hermione she glanced over the teens shoulder to take a look at what had her so rapt, frowning when she realized it was about human transfiguration Lilly cleared her throat. Hopping in surprise Hermione slammed the book shut looking a bit sheepish, realizing that Lilly had seen what she was looking through she gave a wan smile before speaking.

"Sorry, I still haven't given up on trying to find a way to turn you back into Harry, I promised after all..."

Feeling irrationally angry Lilly brought her occlumancy barriers up to remain calm, "Didn't realize the being a girl thing bothered you so much 'Mione."

Looking shocked and a bit hurt the brunette shot up waving her hands in denial, "No no its not that! It's just...you are going to have to take on so much more grief and strife as a High Lady rather then a High Lord. You are powerful but we live in a patriarchal society, it will be uphill the entire way and being with me will make it even harder. I just thought..."

Gently grasping Hermione's chin Lilly drew her into a passionate kiss, letting it linger she eventually broke it with a smile.

"Love, I don't care, seriously being a woman doesn't bother me in the slightest, I never felt comfortable in my old body on top of which, I have you, I have dad, Moony, and hell even Bellatrix. I have family that cares for me and that's all I need, I'll fight anyone who tries to take that from us so please don't beat yourself up trying to find a solution to a none-issue ok?"

Looking as if she was about to cry the smartest witch (in Lilly's not so humble opinion) in the world whispered gently, "Why...why doesn't it bother you? If I were turned into a bloke I think I'd go barmy in twenty minutes...why doesn't it bother you?"

Sighing Lilly paced a bit not really feeling that this was the best venue for this revelation but her girlfriend was upset _now_ and waiting till after they confront the Horcrux hiding somewhere in this room wouldn't sit well. Coming to a decision she pulled out her wand and cleared a table of its load and cast a cleaning charm on it, laying the wand down she pulled her robes up over her head and tossed them on the table. Undoing her tie and unbuttoning her white oxford shirt she tossed both items atop the discarded robes and turned to face a now blushing Hermione in nothing but her skirt, stockings and black bra.

"What do you see love?" Hermione began stuttering as she was staring at Lilly's endowments, rolling her eyes she stepped forward and grabbed the brunettes hands pulling them to her bare sides, "Not the girls dear, you saw Harry without his shirt at the tournament, feel me and tell me whats different."

Shakily dragging her hands up her best friends body Hermione let out a shuddering breath as she felt the smooth unblemished skin, Lilly for her part was quite glad she had her mental barriers up or this would have already gone in a far different direction then intended.

Eventually Hermione leaned in and began placing kisses on Lilly's bare neck while muttering, "You're perfect," smiling sadly Lilly gently pushed the now thoroughly flushed witch away, meeting her lust filled gaze the emerald eyed beauty nodded slowly before she spoke.

"Exactly love, where are the scars from when Vernon strapped Harry to the banister and whipped him with a belt? Where are the scars caused by a basilisk and a dragon, magical wounds that supposedly would never fully heal? Where are the dozens of poorly healed broken bones that made me feel like an eighty year old man every time it rained? Where is the psychological trauma of being beaten and molested for nearly a decade?

"It's all gone hon, I've been given a fresh clean start, the old wounds left with the old body and while I'm aware of what the Dursleys did to me the events themselves were tossed out of my mind never to be found again so I will not be held down by them any longer."

Smiling at the now crying young woman before her she pulled her into a tight hug, "So what if in that trade off I'm now a woman, I'll gladly take it. I have my freedom, I have my health, and I have you, all told I think I made out on this one."

There was a sobbing laugh from the bushy head resting on her chest before she heard a muffled response, "Ok...I get it now, thanks..thanks for sharing...on an unrelated note your baps are amazing."

Lilly snorted out a laugh at the non sequitur as she released her girlfriend, winking as she began putting her clothes back on Lilly purred out, "Well then I'll just have to let you play with them later, I know you've been working on those privacy charms."

Blushing deeply but grinning in return Hermione nodded, "Oh I've perfected my technique," walking up to the now fully clothed Lady Black she whispered into her ear, " _All_ my techniques." Lightly licking her earlobe Hermione pulled away leaving a shivering and flushed Lilly standing there.

Straitening her back she began marching forward, "Oki Tommy time for you to die!"

Chuckling Hermione ran to catch up wrapping her arm around Lilly's waist as they searched for an insane wizards shattered soul shard. After a bit Lilly ruminated over the best course of action before speaking her mind, "Hey brown eyes?"

Hermione hummed her response as Lilly continued, "I was wondering, should we kill this Horcrux now or later? I mean I have no idea if Tom is even aware that I'm munching on his magical core like a bag of crisps, and if he isn't there's only two others left, well that and the snake but chances are that's gonna be our last priority."

Hermione's wonderful mind began processing this and after a few minutes she had a response, "I think you should unbind it, a horcrux is the darkest of artefacts and I'm not comfortable having it sitting around a school filled with kids, imagine if some firsty wandered in here and found it?"

Sighing Lilly wrapped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her love closer, "Was afraid of that, god I hate consuming these things. I have the weirdest urges to kick old people down the stairs and steal candy from children for weeks afterwards...ah well can't be helped."

Grunting her acknowledgment they trudged on until they turned a corner, sitting atop a pile of junk was a discolored tiara, its beautiful elegance resembling a bird in flight with a large oval sapphire in its center.

Sighing Lilly let go of Hermione as she trudged forward, "I am so not looking forward to this, babe you're lucky your bums cute or I wouldn't do this so willingly."

Casting the counter curses she'd learned from Tom on the diadem she picked it up and placed it on her head. Immediately her occulmancy barriers were assaulted and nearly torn down, what began as a one sided attempt at body theft ended up becoming a psychic game of tug of war. Falling to her knees Lilly tried to organize her thoughts into collective clusters to fend off the invading shard of Tom's soul.

Eventually, much to her chagrin, the soul shard broke through the initial barrier and ran into her first mental wave of defenses. To her amusement Tom had no idea what to make of it all as was intended.

Grinning as he starred at the armada before him she appeared next to his wraith like form as he cursed out,"What the hell is this?!"

As the massive arrowhead shaped warships formed a defensive barrier they disgorged thousands of TIE fighters each with who quickly broke off into squadrons forming a hemispherical blockade.

Grinning Lilly smugly stated, "That is her Royal Majesties Imperial armada of Imperator Class star destroyers! Good luck each fighter is piloted by a copy of Neville, Luna, or the Twins and each cruiser is captained by a Hermione, the idea you could get through this is honestly hilariously amusing."

Turning to her in rage Tom lashed out but it did nothing to her spectral form so she continued to taunt him, "Even if you got past the armada there's still layers of defense, next is a police box manned by my Dogfather, uncle and parents, after that is Starfleet headed by Professor McGonagall."

At this point Tom ignored her and charged at the Imperial armada, it amused her that he didn't even get past the TIE fighter screen, eventually, his damaged form struck back at her but she was able to stop him cold.

Snarling he screamed out, "You may think you have won but I am immortal, I have anchors scattered across Britain and I will be forever living! Only I, Lord Voldemort can truly defeat death!"

Snorting Lilly began siphoning off his power while she taunted him, "You know I never figured that bit out. Me, if I made a Horcrux I'd put it in a muggle safety deposit box in I don't know, the colonies or maybe China, you know well away from those who would care to destroy it.

"Tom your arrogance is both terrifying and hilarious, even though I do not intend to go full dark I'll make a far better Dark Lady then you made a Dark Lord, nighters sweet prince we're done here."

With that Tom's soul was dispelled and his fragment of magic became her own, coming back to the real world she was screaming while starring a horrified Hermione in the eyes.

Fun fact, a fifteen year old boy in a seventeen year old woman's body trying to contain the artificially inflated magical core of someone who had a blood seal on them since infancy, plus half the power of a middle aged Dark Lord does not bode well for the user.

Still screaming she felt the power trying to eat at her very being, and bless the bushy haired Goddess before her she fully grasped what was going on, snatching the ichor stained tiara and ripping it from Lilly's head Hermione slapped it on her own brow while statinga quick incantation.

"I Hermione Jean Granger through the rights of blood and heredity declare myself the sole heir to the house of Ravenclaw, so it is said so mote it be!" Hermione was consumed in a grey mist as her school robes vanished. Lilly received a rather tantalizing view of her love's nubile body that was shortly coated in layers of blue robes and mithril armor, once the transfer of title was complete she fell to her knees and grasped Lilly's head, "Share it with me, before it kills you!"

Lilly got her meaning well enough, grabbing the Lady of Ravenclaw's head she pulled her into a deep kiss dumping her very soul into the young woman, after a time an equilibrium was reached and they both fell over. Lilly had no idea how long she had been sprawled out there on the floor of the room of junk, but it was long enough for the Volde'funk in her hair to solidify, groaning in disgust she sat up and cast a scourgify on her head.

Looking down at the prone woman before her Lilly began to panic, casting a cleaning charm on herself to remove the ichor and vomit she pulled Hermione up into her lap and began stroking her face.

After a time the teen opened her brown eyes now flecked with shards of glowing sapphire, grinning she grabbed Lilly's cheeks and pulled her into a deep kiss. It felt like they had snogged for hours but it could only have been minutes.

Eventually Hermione let her go and they starred at each other, "Equals more then ever eh?" Lilly's quip was more true then not, she'd dumped all of the new Horcrux's power into her friend on top of a bit she'd already accumulated. The trade off off for the power loss was that she felt more stable then she had in months.

Grinning Hermione kissed her again and stayed that way for five minutes, no complaints here, eventually breaking the embrace her bushy haired best friend pulled her to her feet.

"This, this is amazing, I can...I can think of so much right now! There's no hindrances, no care what others think, there's just... _knowledge_!"

Smirking Lilly hugged her before she tried to bolt for the library, "That's probably the diadem, as Lady Ravenclaw you're inclined to learn no matter what, as Lady Slytherin I want to manipulate all those around me, sadly I have a _lot_ to learn on that subject.

"Just settle down for now, something tells me Rowena wasn't miss socialite just like Sal wasn't mister sensitive, give your mind a chance to acclimate ok?"

Pausing for a moment Hermione eventually nodded in turn, the needy look in her eyes turning Lilly on in ways she couldn't even begin to describe. Trying to think of the best way to diffuse a potentially sexy situation (hey even she knew that the middle of a room of junk was a poor choice!) she eventually spoke, "Why not talk to McGonagall?"

Hermione thought a moment on that before shaking her head, "Why not ask your dad? He or Bellatrix probably would have something to say on this that wouldn't end in us getting suspended."

Smirking Lilly pulled the lovely Lady of Ravenclaw into her arms and kissed her gently. "Ok gorgeous, as always I'll follow your suggestions."

With that they apparated to the flat housing one quite hung over pair of Blacks. They entered the abode to find Tonks standing in Bella's living room looking highly amused at the prone forms of the passed out raventte's on the floor.

Glancing over at the teen couple the pink haired witch grinned happily, "Wotcher Lilly and 'Mione! If I'm looking at this correctly did you buy our lovely cousins a case of whiskey and a Super Nintendo?"

Laughing Lilly nodded, "Shit dad and Bella worked through all that and Super Mario World in one night!?"

Her cousin shook her head equally amused, "It appears so, I came here to give Bella this from my mum but I think it would explain more to you then them at the moment, been trying to wake their arses up for an hour."

Smirking Hermione grasped the proffered scroll and opened it, eventually her amusement fell as she met Tonks gaze, the normally chipper woman nodded slowly to an unasked question and Hermione looked like she was about to explode.

Shoving the scroll into Lilly's hands she rushed forward and began helping the prone Bellatrix to a sitting position, confused Lilly read the crumpled document and felt her blood freeze.

"This...this was legal Tonks!?"

Snorting the metamorphmagus shook her head sadly, "Up till right before You-know...Voldemort started his campaign being a woman meant you had no rights, your head of house made all decisions and they were final, there's a reason mum ran after all.

"Wasn't until there was literally more women left than men that things changed, necessity was the only reason people like my boss Madam Bones got their jobs despite behind over qualified for it. That marriage contract literally made Bellatrix do whatever the LeStrange's demanded, let me ask you something, once Sirius dissolved the marriage how was she? Dumbledore has a theory on the whole psychotic personality thing, and yes he knows about her already, the whole order knows, please just be objective right now."

Slightly angry and more then a bit mystified that Dumbles knew about her Wicked Witch Lilly eventually just shrugged, "She's fun, playful, she likes Led Zeppelin and looks at the banning of minor dark spells as nothing but old people being whiny. Truth be told outside of the mass murder I'd love to emulate her, she's hilarious and I thoroughly enjoy her company."

Nodding sadly Tonks observed Hermione shoving a potion down Bella's throat before responding, "That's what mum and dad say she was like before she was forced into that marriage contract, how did she get along with Sirius?"

Snorting Lilly glanced at her dad passed out on the floor, "Outside of some obvious tension due to previous battles they acted like teenagers, reminded me of the Weasley's honestly. They grated on each other but they were both happy that the other was there."

Tonks sighed as she took the scroll back and rolled it up, "Yeah about right. Look, Dumbledore thinks that with the soul bindings those fuckers put on her nulled she's going to regress _a lot._ What withSirius having spent over a decade in solitude and torture alongside her...well... They may both be nearing their mid thirties but they're going to have the temperaments of those in their early twenties at best, mid teens at worst. That's what mum's concerned about. If you need anything lemme know, show Bella the contract she was forced into when she sobers up and...err..."

Glancing at Sirius she continued, "And wait till Sirius is drunk again before you show him, there may be fewer deaths that way, anyway I have to get back to my job take care love."

Placing the scroll on a table she was about to apparate when Hermione shouted out, "Tell Remus we said hi!" Tonks hair shifted to green as she blanched right before she vanished from the room not seeing Hermione's grin as she ran away.

Snickering at her girlfriend Lilly walked up to Sirius to help the man up to the couch, he was groaning something along the lines of "bitch ass yellow Yoshi's" but she could have been misunderstanding him. Eventually they were able to shove enough potions down the adults mouths to make them coherent.

Bella reacted first by vomiting into a trash pail, after a time she glanced at Sirius, "Did we have sex last night?"

Groaning her dad nodded in a vague fashion, emulating Bella he threw up into a soup pot before responding, "Four times, then we finished off five bottles of Jameson and played that game of yours till we passed out."

Nodding Bella threw up again while Hermione looked disgusted, "They are... aren't they second cousins!?"

Snorting Lilly leaned into her to whisper, "Purebloods love, closely related cousins are actually preferred as creepy as it is for those of us who live in the real world. I fed her a contraceptive potion so no worries there, if it goes beyond a one night stand we'll work something out."

Nodding in understanding Hermione kept her tongue as Lilly cleaned up the large amount of sick.

"Dad, Bella, seriously you two need to learn moderation, plus try Secret of Mana it has magic and stabbing shite to death, something to appease both of you."

Groaning the adults both gave her mirrored wary salutes which managed to warm her heart greatly. In Lilly's point of view their fucked up family was what she had always wanted, namely, giving her love and acceptence, and thus she'd blithely ignore the immaturity displayed before her.

Guiding her dad to the kitchen while Hermione did the same for Bella the couple placed the incoherent adults at the table before they began preparing breakfast. Going for heavy and alcohol cleansing she made a large platter of bacon and sausage while Hermione fixed a large stack of french toast and scrambled eggs, calling a confused Dobby to her to indulge in the meal with them the abnormal family dug into their impromptu feast.

"I...could seriously get used to this," Bella happily stated as she tore into her plate of dead pig, chugging a glass of juice she gave Hermione a happy grin as she refilled it, Sirius for his part finally seemed to gather enough of his wits to realize what was going on.

"Shouldn't you two be at school?" Snorting Lilly took a large bite out of her cinnamoned sweet toast, licking the syrup from her lips she replied.

"Yeah here's the thing dad classes are over, its eight in the evening, you two have been out for the better part of Monday," Both adults paused, looked at each other then shrugged before digging back into their food. Hermione began giggling at this and Lilly soon joined her, poor Dobby just sat there munching on eggs wondering what the hell was going on with his masters.

Lilly eventually cleared her throat then stated, "Anyway, the reason we're here is Hermione claimed her title, we'd planned on waiting but she needed to take some of my founders magic plus a bit of Tom's so now we're blown. There's no way Dumbles doesn't know what happened so we just wanted your expert opinions."

Bella shrugged as she tore into her second plate of bacon, "To hell the old codger, if he doesn't like the fact that you're being proactive against the Dark Lord so be it. Plus he doesn't even need to know about the Horcrux, just say you found that tiara thingy and made the claim.

"On a semi-related note don't be shocked if there's a major counterattack soon just to show that he's still a threat, the fact that he was trying to reclaim a Horcrux for his rejuvenation rite shows how desperate he is feeling right now. I know now that you retrieved the locket Lucius failed to acquire but the LeStrange vault was emptied by my ex the second Sirius divorced us so he has the one that was put in my charge."

Grinning Lilly nodded to her mentor, "I know the other one and even Tom is going to be hesitant to go after it, that ring has enough wards around it to make a Goblin paranoid. Despite my Death's insistence I go after it first I think it will be the last I go after, there's simply too many protections."

Sirius spoke up, "Don't forget he could just make more, from what you two...three have told me he isn't exactly stable right now, he might go full crazy and forge thirteen of the damn abominations."

All three witches shuddered in sync at this thought, Bella spoke up first, "Lets...lets hope it doesn't reach that point shall we?"

Hermione and Lilly nodded to her at this and finished their meals. Eventually the dysfunctional family ended back up in the living room, Lilly and Bella began playing on the Super Nintendo as Hermione grilled Sirius for information on becoming an animagus. It was honestly, really, the most relaxing day any of the four had experienced in years.

After a few hours the pair of witches left their odd mentors behind and they apparated back into their shared room in the Gryffindor dorms, smirking Hermione pushed Lilly into her bed then straddled the ravenette woman. Casting binding and silencing charms on the curtains she shrugged off her robes and shirt in one motion, her bra followed quickly after that, Lilly for her part followed suit and in a moment both young women were near naked. Smirking Hermione tossed Lilly's glasses aside as she slithered up her body and in moments their breasts had been firmly pressed against each other.

Seeing that she actually managed to make her other half blush Hermione cooed, "Oh my, did I actually unsettle the Lady of Slytherin?"

Groaning Lilly shot forward and before she knew it both their knickers where on the ground.

Lightly chewing on her earlobe Hermione shuddered as Lilly whispered, "The things I want to do to you tonight would land me in Azkaban, but lets go slow at first...please? I love you so much, I just..."

Suffice it to say they were both sore and tired in the morning, and for the first time in Hermione's life she was late for class and didn't give a fig in the slightest for it. As the days moved past their mentor relationship with the Blacks solidified as they learned to 'dance' from Bellatrix and cast from Sirius, soon both witches spread the knowledge to their DADA club and gave their friends a fighting chance in the coming war.

Sirius as the DADA professor was amusing, he considered writing essays to be, and Lilly quoted this often "A professor's attempt to masturbate to their own awesomeness." So most of their classes with him were practical, which meant lots of things were blown up on a daily basis.

Hogwarts had never been so brilliant, of course something had to blight the experience.

* * *

As the Yule hols rolled forward an uncomfortable situation revealed itself, "Lilly, I want you to meet my parents."

This...was not a social situation the Lady of Slytherin wanted to find herself in, for starters she was dating an only child who happened to be female so she automatically assumed she had to deal with an overprotective father figure. Add to that they were in an obviously gay relationship and you have a formula where a young witch was very aware obliviation spells may be necessary in the near future.

Unfortunately she happened to love and respect her girlfriend so she agreed to it, goddammit. When she had related her annoyance of the situation she found herself in to her Wicked Witch Bellatrix only cackled in turn while wishing her good luck.

Bitch.

Adding to the chaos Sirius had insisted she claim the House of Potter as the family head since as heir to the House of Black she'd have to attend social gatherings anyway so why not do it in style. The turn around on this was her overall value had increased to around three billion quid, suffice it to say she was actively pursued by many a suitor.

So she ended up in a verbal agreement with Luna for her to take Neville on a 'date' to keep up appearances before disappearing on the Hogwarts express with Hermione; and she she guided her love through the thronged masses till they reached the cabin she'd already had warded.

"Good. God. What else are we going to be subjected to before we reach Kings Cross?" Lilly honestly had no response to her lovers questions so she simply pulled the tense witch into her arms and cuddled her for a time, and of course eventually their happy doze was broken as their cabin door was opened.

'Right, forgot to reactivate the wards, damnit,' lamenting this oversight a group of older Slytherin's she didn't recognize entered led by one Theodore Nott, the grim faced blonde glared at the pair of girls with contempt.

"The Dark Lord is very displeased with you, since Malfoy can't be trusted to get the job done its up to use to make you and the little mudblood whore recognize your betters."

Lilly couldn't believe her ears, really she could not. Leaving Hermione at her side Lilly stood and starred at the group of belligerent but obviously uncomfortable teens before splaying her hands out before her.

"This is a taste, round two is up to you idiots," with that she cast the Slytherin family magics she'd researched in the past month, the arcing black lightning electrocuting those stupid enough to stand before her. As the teens screamed in agony Lilly's contempt and arousal rose, no wonder the dark arts were considered a controlled substance, the pleasure she gained from punishing these morons was immeasurable!

After a time a frantic Hermione broke her concentration and she was soon glaring down at a group of smoky agonized fools, "Tell your Lord my response, now sod off before I stop being generous!" The group of cowed snakes ran off as a concerned Hermione starred at her, eventually Lilly calmed and pulled the smaller witch to her lap and began kissing her passionately.

"I can't lose you, please...please always be there for me, please be there to pull me back from the brink... What I could have done to them..."

Smirking despite the situation Hermione returned the kiss as she whispered, "Always love."

Soon their fortress of calm was ruined by Ron and his whingeing, and eventually Gred, Forge, and Ginny joined but rather then bitching about things they couldn't change the deviant trio brought about the conversation on how best to replace the great hall with a burning inferno and or a swamp. This distracted Hermione and intrigued Lilly, destruction of property ranked up there with 'flying with Hermione on a moonlit night' for her, eventually their plans for chaos were interrupted with the train stopping at its yards.

Wishing farewells to her redheaded partners in chaos Lilly followed Hermione to a pair of dignified adults standing beside a current model Mercedes, grinning at her girlfriends parents she introduced herself.

"Hello, Hermione has spoken so highly of the two of you, I am the Lady of three houses, Slytherin, Potter and Black, but please simply call me Lillith, or Lilly if you feel comfortable doing so. I didn't grow up a nob so I find all the pomp to be rather ridiculous you see."

Her grin turning mischievous she added, "And if you could get your daughter to lay off on the dental hygiene regime she insists I follow I'd greatly appreciate it, seriously haven't been able to add honey to my tea since we've become friends."

Over Hermione's indigent shout and the adults laughter Lilly couldn't help but reflect that this might be the best holiday she ever experienced if she played her cards right. Introducing herself to Dan and Emma who insisted she call them 'Mum and Dad' (if only they knew) she helped Hermione put her things in the cars boot before taking position next to her in the back seat, balancing the fragile package meant for the dentist duo on her lap she covertly held Hermione's hand as they were driven to her bushy haired loves home.

"Now don't play this up too much, I want...I want to know how they'll react beforehand...before we spend the hols with them..." Nodding in agreement she held her hand as they made their way into the Granger home.

Eventually as things settled Emma asked, "Not that I mind you bringing a different friend but I was expecting you to ask that Harry you're constantly talking about over, I'd love to meet him!"

Dan Granger's eyes hardened at that as he crossed his arms and nodded, groaning internally at totally calling the over protective dad thing Lilly placed her burden on the table and pealed the paper off it.

"This Mum and dad is a pensieve, its a rare artefact that Lilly spent some rather significant resources to acquire, in short it will let you two view our memories, instead of awkwardly explaining things to you we thought it best to show you, with your permission?"

Both adults looked a bit surprised at their little girls forwardness but nodded, they rarely got the chance to observe the magical world that so absorbed their daughters life and this little taste would help them be closer to her.

Lilly stepped forward with a large glowing jar, "The first memory is what caused my current...situation, after that it will start at first year and move on. It is a mixture of both my and 'Mione's memories but considering the fact she's been at my side since day one it'll make sense, hit the loo and be ready to lose two hours of your life."

Snorting at the ravenettes brusqueness the adults did as requested and waited by the bowl of glowing memories, tapping a few runes Lilly glanced to Hermione, "You might wanna watch this too hon...it'll explain what you missed second year...please don't be too angry with me I didn't _want_ to fight the rudding thing ok?"

The Grangers exchanged glances before looking down into the bowl, after that they knew everything.

For starters they knew that Lilly had been Harry, they knew that their daughter was madly in love with the young woman, and they soon realized that the magical world was not nearly as idealic as they'd been led to believe.

They got to witness first hand their daughter being ostracized up to her first Halloween where an infuriated Harry showed up to take down a troll intent on killing their daughter. They were then treated to the boy counseling the brunette before he headed through the fires alone to face an insane professor and kill him before he retrieved an item that would allow the darkest of wizards to regain his life.

The second year they were able to feel Harry's sense of isolation as everyone thought _he_ was responsible for the injuries to the student body while only Hermione truly believed him, and then they were able to feel his pure rage and hopelessness when their daughter fell to the same petrification.

All three Grangers felt ill as Harry barely survived his encounter with his idiot DADA teacher and the subsequent battle with the Basilisk. Unfortunately unable to turn this feature off they felt Harry's agony as he slowly died from the venom and his sense of satisfaction that the monster of Slytherin would not be able to hurt his Hermione further. Once Fawkes healed Harry with his tears the memory jumped to the meeting with Dumbles and Lucius that caused Dobby to be free.

The Third year was largely skipped over because frankly dementors were abominations and the fewer people who knew about them the better, they got the jist of it though. Sirius was innocent, Moony was a badass paramilitary werewolf, and Harry would crush anyone who got in the way of his friends or family; life lessons some of the Slytherin's who still hadn't grasped this fact despite onsite training.

Their fourth year the Grangers were able to absorb both their daughters and Harry's horror as he was subjected to a tournament he had no desire to participate in, both parents were proud of their little girl standing by her friends side as the entire school abandoned him. After the dragons which left Emma in tears, and the lake which left Dan in a rage, both parents remained silent as the tortured and brutalized Harry appeared before the masses after the third task cradling the dead body of his friend.

After that they received a crash course on what had happened to lead to Harry's sex change and what their daughter had been part off, after a time the glow of the pensieve faded and the parents starred at the two teary eyed witches. Much to both their shock Emma charged forward and grabbed Lilly into a death grip as Dan did the same to Hermione.

As one both adults cried while Dan sobbed out, "I'm so proud of you dear, so proud of you..."crying herself now Hermione returned the hug.

Lilly for her part was already sobbing holding onto Emma, outside of Hermione and Sirius no one had hugged her like this before and it broke the dam so to speak.

After a time the hugs released and the tears were cleared, in the awkward silence Lilly said, "Dobby?" With a pop the tuxedo bedecked elf appeared before his mistress bowing lightly, "Tea and biscuits for four please." Nodding and smiling the elf momentarily disappeared and then reappeared carrying the requested items, placing them on the table the happy elf asked a question.

"Is Dobby supposed to be stealing all tea and biscuits from Headmaster Whiskers still Mistress Lilly?"

Choosing to ignore the fact that the little elf still wouldn't drop the 'Mistress' honorific Lilly nodded, "Of course, and the service is excellent as always thank you. Oh and please remember to tell Winky to keep up her drunk act when dealing with the old codger, no need letting him know shes on the up and up yeah?"

A slight smile gracing his lips Dobby gave her one of his jaunty salutes and vanished. Smirking she began sipping her tea and grinned in appreciation, she loved a good earl gray. As the Granger couple and their daughter discussed her...situation with Lilly she simply remained quiet and enjoyed her drink, eventually a consensus was met and the pair of adults decided to address her.

"So...you're in love with my daughter..." Staring at Dan Granger was not difficult, for starters he wasn't a three story tall dragon and he was a rather attractive brunette much like his wife. That helped a lot really.

Nodding Lilly sipped her tea before she replied, "I'd burn most of the British isles to the the ground to keep her safe, she's my one true friend and love, and nothing could keep me from her. On that note she's also the singularly most terrifying witch seen in centuries so my interference is largely unwanted and unneeded."

Hermione snorted at this but it caused both parents to smirk in pride, finishing her tea Lilly stood and bowed to Dan directly, "I, the Lady Lillith Alice Potter-Slytherin-Black do so bequest to court your daughter the Lady Hermione Jean Granger-Ravenclaw and do so swear to physically or politically destroy anyone or anything that has the foolish notion to threaten your daughter, so mote it be."

It only took a gasp from Hermione and a flash of light for Dan and Emma to fully graspe what the young witch had just sworn to.

Not fully comfortable with the gay thing but fully understanding what the oath would cost the young woman Dan nodded, "So mote it be," the flash of light was blinding.

After that Emma was grinning, "So who wants dinner? We already have reservations so why don't we get to know our daughters significant other a bit better over a good meal and wine?" Both her grumpier half and the teenage witches smiled in response.

* * *

Lillith and Hermione sat in silence in the back of the Granger's Mercedes as Dan meandered through the late afternoon traffic, both young women lost in thought, eventually Hermione cast a privacy charm then broke the silence which caused her lover to grimace. "So...that oath..."

Rolling her eyes Lilly kept her gaze on the passing traffic, "Not that big of a deal, it was worded in such a way that I'd only go after threats to you, plus the lovely loophole of the fact you cannot make magical oaths to muggles helps as well."

Pausing Hermione looked confused before she violently whispered, "You played my parents?!" Glancing over to the bushy haired brunette Lilly kept her gaze a few moments before sighing, out her reply."

Can I honestly say anything right now that wouldn't make matters worse, seriously?"

Hermione was chagrined to admit she had to bite off making a 'Sirius' joke there before responding, "Why would you find it necessary to lie to my parents straight out of the gate?"

Lilly resisted the urge to roll her eyes again as she responded, "Because your dad practically screamed over protective even when I was only running my passive legilmency on the room, not to mention both your parents are dentists who I inherently distrust. Anyone who gets their jollies drilling into other people's heads automatically earns my ire."

Hermione was about to snap back before she paused and sighed, "You're having one on me right now aren't you?"

Grinning Lilly waggled her brows in response, huffing Hermione eventually just asked her original question, "You played them right?"

Lilly remained quiet before sighing again, "Yes and no, I meant the oath but it isn't binding. Remember what I told you earlier this month? My Founders magic makes me inclined to manipulate people, its just second nature to me at this point. As for it being binding, Hermione? I'm _fifteen_ , you're sixteen, we literally have our entire lives ahead of us, do you honestly think I'd blindly bind my magic to an agreement I made before I even got out of school?

"Your parents think you're safer now, they're not going to be hounding us the entire hols to be safe or other contrite crap especially after they got a crash course on how bloody dangerous that school is! Enjoy the fact that my duplicity has given us a modicum of freedom and leave it at that ok?"

As much as Hermione wanted to be enraged she couldn't manage it, Lilly hadn't out and out lied and the more she reviewed the situation the more annoyed with herself she got over not catching the details.

Eventually holding her forehead she sighed deeply, "You didn't use a wand, silent wandless lumos?"

Snorting Lilly's lips curled into a smirk and simply replied with an "Of course."

Shaking her head Hermione turned her eyes out the window again as she thought up her response, eventually she just sighed in exasperation and removed her seat belt sidling closer to Lilly to wrap the young woman in a hug.

"All right...I get why you did it, you probably bypassed two weeks of fretting, just try to reel it in love ok?"

Smirking Lilly gave her a quick peck on the cheek before responding, "Honey, its my nature to manipulate, while I still have my 'saving people thing' as you put it the sorting hat _did_ try to place me in Slytherin first. I will make a tentative promise to you though, I'll never try to consciously manipulate you or anyone you tell me to trust. No witches oath or any of that, just a promise from your girlfriend, ok?"

Hermione frowned as she worried her lower lip but eventually she nodded, resting her head on Lilly's shoulder lost in thought the emerald eyed young lady watched the blue flecked gaze of her lover with wry affection. Before they'd been, *ahem* bonded the brunette would never have given in that quickly. Huzzah for a satisfied sex drive bypassing hours of needless bickering!

She would never let her girlfriend's father know this of course, she liked breathing, obviously.

As the car came to a stop Lilly recognized the venue as a higher end French style restaurant, the Grangers were obviously better off then expected but they were both doctor's of a sort so she shouldn't have been surprised. As they exited the vehicle there was a brief bark as a snowy white owl landed on the cars boot, Hedwig gave Lilly an indignant glare before offering up her foot with a large envelope attached to it.

Snorting Lilly took the parcel then placed the miffed owl on her shoulder while casting a disillusionment on her, "Sorry girl didn't mean to leave you at home like that. Come on I'll sneak you in so you can confuse the muggles by ganking their food."

Hedwig let out an amused bark at this so Lilly walked towards the entrance while Hermione pushed her befuddled parents forward.

Pulling up to Lilly's side she quietly muttered, "Do you have to roll your hips like that? Its...distracting..." Lilly snorted while Hedwig clacked her beak in amusement, locking gazes with her girlfriends familiar Hermione eventually shook her head in faux disapproval.

"You are really going to let your sentient magic owl friend terrorize a restaurant full of stuck up snobs for a free meal aren't you?"

Grinning with a mischievous glint in her eyes (which she'd placed a glamour on to keep down the glowing, no need to freak out the normals) Lilly quipped what was fast becoming her personal mantra, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Trying to look disapproving but failing miserably Hermione just followed the group into the restaurant and took her seat, Lilly then managed to stun Dan and Emma by fluently speaking French to the waiter requesting a bottle of wine and hors d'oeuvres.

Grinning once again with a mischievous lilt Lilly shooed Hedwig to go cause chaos as she cracked open the owls delivered envelope, groaning she slid her chair closer to Hermione so she could read the letter.

Her parents looked on in polite interest as she let out an annoyed sigh, "Another board meeting? I thought you subcontracted the goblins specifically to avoid this sort of thing?"

Grunting Lilly kept her eyes on the sheaf of parchment as she continued reading, "Yeah I did but the little guys aren't allowed to enact major purchases and transfers without my direct consent. Glad the Slytherin vault wasn't set up like the Potters, the amount of interest I earned from their investments makes up 37% of my net worth. Christ this is annoying, I hope Moony gets back from whatever errand he's running in Russia soon, I hired him to take care of this for a reason."

Hermione huffed and took a sip of her wine, looking back at the documents she then asked, "What is he doing in Russia anyway?"

At that Lilly twirled a manicured finger in the air, "Who knows, this is Uncle Remus we're talking about here. He could be enriching some capitalist proletariat's buying up cold war era weapons, scoring a key of Colombian white, or getting some really good borscht, all I know is I need his furry butt here so I can get back to being a lazy boarding school student."

Dan snorted at this, "Interesting company you keep young lady," glancing above the papers meeting her girlfriends fathers eyes Lilly blinked then nodded her agreement.

"Dan, you have no idea, as it stands I'm going to have to go to Gringotts tomorrow, which while not earth shattering it is annoying, sometimes being filthy rich is very irritating."

The adults exchanged a glance while Hermione let out an amused snort, "Yes love when you were dirt poor far fewer people were interested in your portfolio."

Before anything else could be said the waiter returned and took all their orders, eventually a comfortable silence overtook the table as Hermione's parents observed the two young women leafing through the stack of legal documents. Eventually their meals arrived which caused Lilly to let out a pleased predators growl when her gigot d'agneau pleureur was placed before her.

She took a sip of her red wine with every bite of lamb savoring the flavor, Hermione for her part had gone with a bowl of bouillabaisse as Fluer had once suggested but she drank her white wine less enthusiastically then her iron livered girlfriend.

As the pleasant dinner conversation wound down Emma finally asked what was on her mind, "Lilly I don't mean to pry but exactly how well off are you? I know its a bit faux pas but you've really piqued my curiosity."

Smiling widely Lilly shook her hand unoffended, "Oh don't worry about it, not trying to be mysterious or anything just annoyed. The Slytherin vaults I acquired through conquest and the Potter through inheritance, technically the Black vaults will be mine as well but I'm honestly hoping Papa Padfoot finds a ladytype that'll pop out a few cousin's for me to dote on."

Looking to Hermione she than asked, "What's my net worth right now my lovely Goldkeeper? Not counting Pad's stuff?"

Hermione flipped out a small notepad and leafed through its pages, eventually she replied, "As of two days ago your _liquid_ assets were 5.4 billion pounds sterling, or 54 million galleons, net worth including properties and annual interests is on the upper end of 13 billion pounds sterling or 130 million galleons, I don't have any info on the Black accounts on me though."

Nodding Lilly turned back to her meal as the Granger couple stared at the teen girls in shock, it took a few minutes for Lilly to notice their vacant looks before she sputtered out, "Wha-what's wrong?"

Dan coughed lightly then asked, "Are you trying to tell me you are a multi-billionaire?"

Nodding slowly as she took another dainty sip of wine Lilly smiled meekly in reply, "Err, yeah, kinda? I honestly grew up dirt poor and have no real concept of money as something other then a war resource, so I don't mean to be blase about my wealth it just doesn't really mean much to me other then being a means to end. And well...that end involves my enemies being dead, the magical world being brought to 20th century standards and my loved ones taken care of for life."

Smirking at her brunette better half she eventually snarked, "Although I have the strangest feeling _someon_ _e_ is going to be demanding a personal library at some point so its a damn good thing I have the means for it." The Grangers laughed as Hermione blushed while chiding her for swearing again, all was good with the world.

Eventually an incredibly pleased Hedwig landed on the table with a porter house steak in her talons, the group watched in near mystification as the snowy white owl devoured the slab of bloody meat in less then a minute. Proving that she wasn't a proper lady Lilly's familiar belched then landed on her pet human's shoulder, before long she passed out occasionally clacking her beak in contentment.

Stroking the hyper sated owls head in amusement Lilly turned back to the Grangers, "Here's the thing, I literally fell into most of this, I'm just a normal person with a rather jaded outlook on life. Hermione keeps me honest and I love her for that on top of everything else she does for me."

At that Lilly snorted a bit while rolling her eyes, "Not like she needs me to spoil her now that she claimed her birthright anyhow," silence fell around the table as the adults both looked at Hermione questioningly.

Shrinking in on herself the young lady in question let out a small "eep" under the scrutiny, holding her face in both hands Lilly groaned into her palms before continuing, "You didn't tell them?"

Hermione shook her head in the negative and took a few moments to gather her courage, finally she said, "Mum, Dad, I am now the Lady Granger-Ravenclaw, it ends up that somewhere on mum's side a none magical born to the Ravenclaw line joined the muggle world and eventually led to me.

"Technically speaking we're British Magical Nobility..." That opened the floodgates, Lilly lost track of the scary intelligent families conversation so she simply pet her owl and finished her lovely dinner, some sort of consensus was met so the family eventually paid for their meal and left. The next day the Grangers drove the couple back to Diagon Alley despite the girls insistence that they could apparate the lot of them there in an instant, a wasted few hours later the quartet entered the goblin bank of Gringotts.

It was as she expected, completely boring and largely unnecessary for her to be there other then to sign her name, damn did she hate blood quills. The one plus side to this little lark was that she finally got around to withdrawing both the Slytherin and Potter family grimoirs, many of the spells in her recently acquired summoning book cross referenced with them so it was for the best.

She and Hermione poured through the books over the next couple of days, most of the spells were terrifyingly complex and required quite a bit of power to get off the ground, be it through sex, blood, or sacrificial magic.

Lillith couldn't help but reflecting on how amazing it was to be her, and how much her previous persona would approve of her new outlook on life.

* * *

 **This took four and a half hours of editing and I'm sure I missed many things...please review...**


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